Your Demands And Expectations Could Be Standing Between You And Love

Berojgaar News By Berojgaar News, 29th Jul 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2kvd5r89/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships


Here's the most interesting part of this particular phenomenon, whatever your excuse, I guarantee you that there are MANY, MANY singles in this world that have overcome your very same situation (excuse) and gone on to create fabulous fulfilling relationships.

Your Demands And Expectations Could Be Standing Between You And Love

Nearly all singles have an "excuse" for why they've not been successful in attracting a soul mate or why they are not currently actively dating someone special. For some it's their age, for some it's their weight, for some it's their income, for some its their childhood and the way their parents treated them, for some its because good people are hard to come by, for others it's where they happen to live, or where they work. What excuse do you have for not having the relationship you had hoped for? Whatever your excuse, it is likely not an original excuse, IT'S LIKELY VERY COMMON EXCUSE! Your excuses can program themselves into your mind so deeply that you don't even realize the effects that they're having. If you believe for example, that the opposite sex won't feel attracted to you because you're, say, overweight, then you won't even go out to meet and mix with other singles. Won't even TRY to meet and develop single friends. You'll just assume that it's no use. This leads to even worse problems like fear of talking to people, fear of doing new things etc. But guess what? The PROBLEM with your excuse isn't the excuse itself, it's the fact that your "excuse" rarely deals with reality.
So you get very unhappy even when it makes no real sense.

Here's the most interesting part of this particular phenomenon, whatever your excuse, I guarantee you that there are MANY, MANY singles in this world that have overcome your very same situation (excuse) and gone on to create fabulous fulfilling relationships.

Yes, there may be people who'll not be attracted to you because of your age, weight, height, income or just because you are you. Sure, there are some men and women who are only interested in these things. But MOST are far more interested in your sense of yourself and how you project what you feel inside than any of those other things. If you know how to use your personality and body language correctly, you can make men and women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy man or woman.

Your "why I am single excuse" comes from your own "expectations and demands" programming mindset. What happens out there in the world is run against the mental programming that runs the way you think and behave.

Lets say you go to a singles dance and your expectation and demand is that an attractive man or woman there will ask you for a dance. You are crushed when no one asks you to dance all evening and your whole outlook about love, the opposite sex, relationships, life and even about your desirability is affected, not by what happened at the dance, but by your own expectations and demands programming. Since I've been "excusing" myself ( I am too busy, it's just not my thing, English is my fourth language etc) about writing a book on how to change your "expectations and demands" programming, I will just tell you here and NOW that when you accept that you (and your EXCUSE) is what is preventing you from even the POSSIBILITY of attracting someone special, your whole outlook to EVERYTHING in your life will change. Until you realize that IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU - that you have the power over how you think, the way you react to people and situations and your general outlook on life, you will always blame it on others.

Let me say it again. When you become aware that your EXCUSE doesn't make sense because there are MANY, MANY singles in this world that have overcome your very same situation (excuse), you will consciously work at a program switch every time something happens in your world that makes you unhappy, negative, frustrated, discouraged, insecure etc.. Lets again say you go to another singles dance. As usual you'd love that someone at least ask you to dance but since no body is coming to you, you consciously make a program switch and there and then decide you'll do the asking and may be wind up with two or three out of ten you ask to dance with. You also resolve that you are not only going to learn everything you need to know to "get them to ask you to dance" but next time you are going to improve that ratio from three out of ten to five or even seven out of ten. And you are going to have fun doing it! With your old "expectations and demands" programming you would have been so discouraged and unhappy, gone home and got out the wine bottle or gone down on your knees with "why, why me, God?". But with your improved "conscious" programming you are not unhappy, you are not even frustrated, you accept that you just need to change a few things. You decide that you are not "the" victim because you have the POWER to change what happens in your life.

Are you feeling me? I think I am still on that guilt trip from not writing that book so let me give another example just so that you get what I am trying to say here.

Let's say you are divorced. Your "expectations and demands" programming says that your marriage should have lasted for ever. It did not meet those "expectations and demands" so you are unhappy that not only are you single again but your ex moved on - what an ungrateful... whatever! You feel used and abandoned. You're also probably angry because income that used to support one household must now support two households. You expected your ex if they were leaving to at least leave using a certain "right" procedure and they did not. You expected him or her to go through certain expectations and demands of the way you believe they should have done it and they did not. So you are very disappointed by their insensitivity to your feelings and angry at their lack of common sense, depth or "class". Your whole outlook about love, the opposite sex, relationships, life and even about your desirability is all negative, frustrated, discouraged etc.

BUT wait. With your all new improved "conscious" programming you are not wiped out emotionally. You realize they were probably not the "right" person for you and you deserve a lot better. And if you are truthful about it, the marriage wasn't that really great. And now you even found out that they are not even very good at leaving procedures either.

With your improved "conscious" programming you are not unhappy. You have a few regrets, things you should have done better or said, but life goes on. You realize that now you have the OPPORTUNITY to change a few things and do it better with someone else. You also resolve that you are not only going to learn everything you need to know to attract someone who deserves you but next time you are going to be a better spouse (more loving, more expressive, more attentive, more committed, more caring, more empathetic, more passionate in and out of the bedroom. etc). And you are going to have fun doing it!

Thousands of singles "give up" and just totally withdraw from the active dating world, literally hide in a cave and the rest of their life just lick their emotional wounds. What a needless waste of a life time.

You can continue to beat your brains out, (which is what you have been doing) trying to get your world out there to shape up to meet your expectations and demands. Lots of work, frustration, failure and unhappiness. OR you can decide to get rid of, drop, dump, eliminate, and give up, discard, delete, your old "expectations and demands" mental programming and get on with attracting a very special person.

I'd say that being able to get to where you throw your "expectations and demands" programming in the dumpster, is at LEAST a two step process:1) First you need to identify your own ""why I am single excuse", and you need to look around to find examples of other singles who have overcome the very same "obstacle" (excuse). These single people will provide you with some real-life evidence that what you're dealing with is not final and irreversible.2) Second you need to be honest with yourself and take a "truthful" look at your life. More than that you need to be willing to ask for, hear and listen to both positive and negative feedback. You must truly seek deeper insights about yourself to be able to create what you want the way you want it. You can do this with a good friend or hire the services of a good coach. So stop caring what others think of you, and just go for it all. Speak with your truest feelings and if the other person cannot appreciate that, move on. Soon or later you'll find someone who sees the "good" in you.

That reminds me, do you even know the "good" in you? Like really, really know? I bet you're so wrapped up in your excuse that you don't even think their is any "good" that a special person will see. I told you that your excuses can program themselves into your mind so deeply that you don't even realize the effects that they're having.

You could have an active dating life if you wanted!

Tags

Love, Love And Desire, Lovers, Relationship Help, Relationship Issues, Relationship Problems, Relationship Tips, Relationships, Relative

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author avatar Trillionaire
31st Jul 2013 (#)

Thanks.

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