Women ´s briefing : why men don 't behave as we would like

Lucie Christine By Lucie Christine, 16th Oct 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Short advice to understand men ´s behaviour from a lady ´s point of view
Pragmatic not psychologic tips to be used in daily life

Why men don ´t behave as we would like

women ´s briefing : tips for a better understanding of men

Why men do not behave as we would like.
Men come from Mars, women come from Venus, let´s try to go a little further. Why are we so different? Centuries of social programmation?

Men do not speak easily of their feelings, conversely to us. It´s true that if a man conveys attention and consideration to a lady, she may be attracted by him, even if he did not please her at the first contact. On the contrary, if a lady starts showing consideration for a man, either he won ´t notice it, either he will take profit of this opportunity if it fits him, or he will go away, "don ´t stand so close to me", do you remember that song?
The corollary to this is that we may injure them without being aware of it, as they don ´t show their feelings. Thus beware of their resent.
The other corollary is as follows: if there is a topic of conversation they feel it may hurt them, they will avoid it, and you will feel frustrated for that.
Sometimes your husband/lover will need to speak and to confide to someone, preferably you, of course. It will be up to you to listen to him without interfering too much with your own feelings.
Moreover, have you ever noticed that we, ladies, do not share compulsorily the same memories about à subject or an event, whatever it is. Thus, we will not have the same references. That will drive to another set of misunderstandings. During the conversation or meeting, make sure you speak about the same memories, even with that kind of say: do you remember this? I was scared! Or I loved it!
Thus he will know what you have in mind, and both of you will avoid misunderstandings.
But sometimes, it´s necessary to put things more directly.
If he bores you, it can be a good way to show your disapproval by changing of room, if possible. He will soon understand the message.
When practising his hobby, whatever it is, he will be so concentrated that he will even forget that you stay at his side. So go away, start an activity you like and concentrate on it.
You will get there advantages:
- you progress in a personnal project
- He does not bother you anymore
-You are acquiring thus more independence of mind.
It would be strange if he does not take any reason to join you or to come in order to see what you are doing.
One day, I was so bored that I thought of a urgent file to be taken to the school to enroll my elder son to graduate in maritime studies. So I took the file, went to the station, took the train for Nantes, presented and left the file to the school, and then came back. I made 300 km by train, even if I ´ve got a plaster because I fell from my bike and got a luxation in my right hand. He was so stuck by my reaction (no dispute, but only action) that he just congratulated me to have enrolled Thomas in the school.
Sometimes, hell just consists in good intentions.
For instance, a couple walking on a pavement where there is a dog muck. The man will tell the lady to pay attention. It´s his way to show her his consideration or his ability to protect her. If I where the lady, I would think: what did he take me for? He thought I did not see it? And I would start to get irritated.
The best way to avoid such stupid and useless tensions is to tell him exactly what you expect from him, thus you need to brief him, to train him, whereas letting the door opened for imagination or creativity. It´s not about imposing your point of view, but make him aware of what stress you, what upset you.
For that purpose, call to his pragmatism. How? Read the example below about driving.
Usually, when my husband left for professional travel, I used to drive for him. When I overtake a truck, particularly on a shrunk way, he always fears that I will fail to do it, but every time of course I succeed (if not, I would not be here to give you my tips about communicating with the man of your heart). So, every Time he reacted like that, he got on my nerves. Until the day when I told him that I never got accidents, that the car was never lined. He came to my reasons, because I used practical arguments which were easy to prove. I could have added that I did not get also neither toots nor calls of headlights, nor furious drivers yelling after me.
Men ´s natural pragmatism requires a reasoning easy to prove by external persons or facts. Calling to their feelings instead will put them in an awkward situation
In fact, one must be careful not to be too demanding towards one ´s husband. Desire leads to slavery. When men make an effort, ladies tend to ask something else or more. As we have hectic lives now, the comparisons we are doing consciously or not incite us to have growing demands and thus leading to a continuous frustration.

Tags

Communication Skill, Couple Advice, Couple Relationships, Women, Women Versus Men, Womens Issues

Meet the author

author avatar Lucie Christine
Since my youngest age, I have been attracted by reading, writing and foreign languages. I strived to create an independent job which links everything: interpreter -translator and writer

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Comments

author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
31st Oct 2014 (#)

It is fascinating to analyze the difference in behavior. One cannot live with the other, yet cannot live without the other! siva

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author avatar Lucie Christine
31st Oct 2014 (#)

Well seen! Thank you

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author avatar Joyce Singha
9th Nov 2014 (#)

All I know is my husband and I have done quite well staying out of each other's way :)
Both genders are different and that's how they should be; I don't want men impinging on women's turf and vice versa.

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author avatar Retired
10th Nov 2014 (#)

Yes, indeed, men are different from women. I'm glad it's that way: we complete them and they complete us. Perhaps that's why I'm bored to tears around women!

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author avatar Lucie Christine
10th Nov 2014 (#)

Both of you are right and thank you for your comments Joyce and LeRain!

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author avatar Wright
9th Dec 2014 (#)

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11th Jun 2015 (#)

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