Wishing Interupted

Pace21 By Pace21, 15th Jul 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Bereavement

I had stated that I would keep people updated on my progress with using the principles from "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrnes. Unfortunately I was derailed when my mom passed away earlier this month, so I thought I would write about that instead.

Wishing Won't Make it Better

Death is hardest on the living. For people with chronic illness, like stage 3 lung cancer, death can actually be a welcome thing. The pain and anguish that accompany lung cancer is devistating. I can't imagine if I had to fight for every breath, while my lungs filled with blood. So we are left to mourn our loved ones and know we will miss who they were. For me, I mourned the loss of my mom when she got the cancer. She wasn't who she used to be, a fiesty little German woman, who defended her kids with more vehimence then she disciplined us with. She was no longer the woman who could passively/aggressively make comments on your life and make you ask if you were making the right decisions. SInce I had mourned her before, her funeral and memorial were more for celebrating who she was and how she lived. I would never use my wishes to want her back, that would be selfish. She is out of pain now and is with God.

Selfish or Wishful Thinking

Since I have been experiemnting with "The Secret" I haven't had any luck with positive results. I had been very faithful to the principles lined out in the book, but up to 2 weeks ago I hadn't recieved any of what I had wished. Then my mom passed and I quit doing the things required to fulfill my intent. I plan to get back to it this week, but that begs the question, do I have to start all over? Does the progress I had supposedly made hold fast? I guess I will have to wait and see. I think my mom would tell me to quit wasting my time wishing and go out and earn the things I want. Nobody will give you anything she would say. Especially the universe. My one wish I would want above any other I have made would be to get to the hospital to say goodbye before she passed. I did not make it in time and that bothers me above all else. My sister had called, I had plenty of time, but I wanted to wait and get my daughter. So I didn't get there when she quickly turned for the worse and suffered cardiac arrest.

Life Goes On.

One thing about life, it continues on. No matter what we wish for, or how much we want it, life continues on and takes you with it. Death should make people realize we don't have an unlimited time to do the things we want. I know I want my life to count for something, but it seems like I can't motivate myself to really get going. Time is limited and no one gets out alive. So why can't I just start doing the things I know matter. I really want to make this writting thing make a difference and I haven't given it the emphasis it needs. Maybe this will be what I need.

Tags

Celebrate, Death, Eulogies, Family, Lung Cancer, Mom, Mourn, Relationships, Wishes

Meet the author

author avatar Pace21
I am a training coordinator at a surface coal mine. I have loved writing since I was old enough to pick up a crayon and write.

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