Wife Bashing

kaylar By kaylar, 30th Aug 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Why is this man bending my ear about all of his wife's faults?

The Basher

You meet a man.
He seems nice.

He's articulate, witty, charming, and you go for coffee or some other casual encounter which is totally innocent. Perhaps you expect to be discussing business, a political issue, but he begins a diatribe.

He starts talking about his wife.

You might not have known he was married.. This is how you learn. Not in the off hand references; "My wife used to write for...." or "I hate Star Wars but my wife loves it," but in a cohesive attack last heard in the chambers of a divorce lawyer.

That's the First Encounter

And you think;

Perhaps he's leading up to an explanation that although he's legally married at the moment he's divorcing his wife and he's not exactly a married man. Hence, you would not technically be the Other Woman if you began dating him.....
That's what you probably expect to hear.

Or, maybe he's just a sad soul needing someone to talk to, wanting some advice
about what to do. It is a possibility he wants your opinion, maybe your insight as
to how women think, or just a shoulder to cry on.

He must be telling you this for A REASON.

The Second Encounter

You leave the first encounter unsure about what he wants. He didn't say anything about you and he dating nor did he behave in any manner to suggest he found you sexually attractive.

He didn't ask your advice either or even pause for your opinion.
In fact, the interlude was him giving a monologue on the faults of his wife.

You meet him again.
Again it's casual.

Maybe you expect a discussion on business or politics or a recent event, or some other conversation which has a point. After 'Hello' he commences wife bashing.

You stop listening to ask yourself; what exactly are you doing here?

The Wife Basher

Unlike men who have affairs, Wife Bashers get
all possible fulfillment from denigrating their wives to a stranger.
The mere fact of sitting with another woman and tearing his wife to bits is all he needs.

His wife is probably too good for him and her breathing makes him feel inferior.
By insulting her to a stranger he gains a feeling of equality.

How to deal with him?

If you are a divorce lawyer, tell him to come to the office and leave.

If you're not a divorce lawyer, get up and leave.
He might not notice for a paragraph or two.

There's no sense in fulfilling his fantasies by getting your ears chewed off
by a man who commits verbal adultery.

For that is what it is.
Adultery.
Only he's afraid to undress, unwilling to take the risk, and his libido is such that he
gains orgasmic pleasure from denigrating the woman he married.

Men who do this have inferiority complexes. Their wives are 'superior' to them. She may have a good job and he may be hustling. She may have a wonderful family and he doesn't. Whatever it is, he feels hurt. And because his ego is so deflated, all he can do is find a woman he 'could' have an affair with and excoriate his wife.

At the end of the session, he feels empowered, invigorated, he's 'fixed' his wife.
The woman he's been speaking to feels like taking a bath in clorox.

Tags

Abuse, Adultery, Attack, Bashing, Insult, Unfaithful, Verbal, Wife, Wife-Bashing

Meet the author

author avatar kaylar
I am passionate about history, culture, current events, science and law

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Comments

author avatar Retired
30th Aug 2011 (#)

This is way unique advice to give anyone...hmmm...I am still thinking of the causality that lead to it all...grins

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author avatar kaylar
30th Aug 2011 (#)

There are men whose wives make them feel inferior. This is how they compensate.

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author avatar Buzz
30th Aug 2011 (#)

A hen-pecked husband I'd say.

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
30th Aug 2011 (#)

Good advice.

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author avatar kaylar
30th Aug 2011 (#)

thanks

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author avatar Delicia Powers
30th Aug 2011 (#)

well said...

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author avatar kaylar
31st Aug 2011 (#)

thanks deliciaa

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
1st Sep 2011 (#)

Misery loves company, as long as somebody is willing to listen, the person will continue to complain.

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author avatar kaylar
1st Sep 2011 (#)

Hi Mark;;; what makes it worse is that it is so unexpected...it makes you feel creepy

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author avatar Songbird B
25th Sep 2011 (#)

I agree with Mark, becareful of giving that listening ear, you could well end up with more that you bargained for! lol

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author avatar kaylar
25th Sep 2011 (#)

many times the bashing comes out of no where. You think you're taking coffee to discuss that fabulous concert you just heard...

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author avatar Mikey.
18th Mar 2012 (#)

Aw just get up and leave.

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author avatar kaylar
27th Nov 2012 (#)

Sure you get up and leave when you finally realise what it is...but the first or second time you wait for him to get to the point.

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