Why he was placed for adoption

Coletha Albert By Coletha Albert, 5th Jul 2016 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/8pgec-7e/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Adoption

Why would any mother give up her child for adoption? For each birth mother the decision has different reasons. This article highlights one mother's story..

In the beginning

She was a young mother already...struggling with one son raising him alone. She could not keep a job because of baby sitter issues. One babysitter was starving her son all day long. The young mother did not know this until she took off work one day and noticed that her child did not eat all day. She confronted her father who recommended this older lady to babysit his grandson. The result was the young mother jumped on her father and left his home to live with one of her co-workers. Due to drug use she opted to get her own apartment older son in tow.

She began dating a young man who worked at a bank as a teller. He seemed articulate and compassionate. Well, her judgment was totally incorrect because he soon was arrested for bank robbery and she found herself pregnant. Birth control is not 100% effective, however abstinence is. Anxious, insecure and overwhelmed is how the mother felt. What would she go? What could she do?

She went to get counseling as to options for her. Abortion was a repugnant option. How could she work and carry a child and raise another child on her own? So, she went to a counselor who suggested adoption. She felt nervous but what could she do? She could not work and would soon be evicted. She could not live with her father after the babysitter debacle.

She felt that young women who have a father like hers should not have children. She loved her children and wanted to do what was best for them. Why did she ever began having sex? Loneliness, vulnerable, low-self esteem and not living with a vision, a dream or a purpose - this is why she began having sex after maintaining her virginity for so long.

The counselor had all the resources needed to move her to the group home with other pregnant ladies. The experience was ghastly. She did the best she could living amongst strangers. Sharing a bathroom and shower with strangers. Cooking and cleaning with strangers. Doctors appointments, lawyer appointments, reading adoptive parent applications and going to dinners to meet prospective adoptive parents without her father ever knowing - she did all of this totally on her own.

All of these resources granted to her for the purchase of her little baby to give him up. Ironically, no one would offer her these resources to keep her family intact. Everything tilted to break up her family. All of this could have been avoided by just not having sex until suitably married.

The Decision

When the time came for her labor and delivery, no family was there. She can't remember where her older son was... The experience is lost somewhere deep in her subconscious. The child was quiet, never cried. The child was a boy, her second son. The father, in jail could offer no guidance, support or anything. So, the papers were signed and the adoptive parents took her little boy away.

Today

If is going on three decades now and the young mother is not young anymore. She spends her days volunteering, working and riding her bike. She has friends and a dog. Her co-workers admire her. Her neighbors respect her. She lives a quiet life showing compassion to others. She works out 4 hours each day and writes short stories for children. She speaks on panels with other authors and she travels to resorts during her downtime.

No one knows her secret agonies of being a mother. Her father has long passed away and her friends from the group home NEVER discuss the DECISION that they all made so long ago. These ladies are her sisters forever. They support each other and love each other. They are bonded in this life and the life after this one. They attend each other's birthday parties and anniversaries. They attend each other' graduations and speaking engagements. They accompany each other for doctor's appointments and have coffee and breakfast together on weekends.

They are their own sorority. If the day ever comes when her son wants to find his birth mother, she will meet him with confidence and a little broken heart. She knows he will never understand but maybe he has grown up to be the man she wanted him to be; a good man, a strong man, a man with principles, a man with dignity. With her, he would have had a zero percent chance but with a mother and a father he would have a ten percent chance and the remaining ninety percent would be up to his own heart and fate.

This is just one paragraph in the Book of Mothers - a book that is being updated each moment of each hour amassing the horrors and joys of a trillion mothers worldwide. May God bless their souls and be merciful.

Tags

Adopt, Adoption, Birth Father, Birth Mother

Meet the author

author avatar Coletha Albert
I am a native of Texas who has lived in California and Iraq. Currently living in Seattle, WA, USA and author of three books; Hell in Houston, Sunbeams and Carnal.

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Comments

author avatar Coletha Albert
6th Jul 2016 (#)

https://youtu.be/rsKgNBrzHQ8 Elisa's Emotional Reunion With Her Birth Mom | EJNYC | E!

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author avatar Tony Barnes
6th Jul 2016 (#)

I was riveted...great story.

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10th Sep 2017 (#)

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