When the man you have lived with for thirty years asks for a divorce

RaydaJ By RaydaJ, 24th Apr 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Understanding the logic of staying with your partner when you have been married for as long as thirty years

You know each other well

When a couple has lived together for thirty years in relative harmony with the usual things that come along in life and has managed to raise responsible and successful children and enjoying some of the fruits of life, leaving a marriage is not that easy and one has to ask why, and if there is something that can save it. It is not one or two years that you have lived together and navigated with your partner through life; it is thirty years. Thirty years with someone in the same house, the same bed, sometimes even the same line of work, is a long time and should be carefully considered before making a rash decision.

Reasons for wanting to leave

In some cases where men feel they are getting older they want a young woman who can jump through hoops and relive some of those early years where he thinks it will be that easy to leave a partner of thirty years; there is history between you. You know each other’s moods, you know his smell, his breath in the morning, his wants and needs and it is a foolish man who leaves a partner and thinks the bouncy new secretary in his office who has complimented him and made advances is going to stay with him until the end of his days. He is almost sixty, arthritis and osteoporosis and other ailments are around the corner if not already wearing at his bones.

The relationship has gone stale

If the reason for wanting to break up your marriage is just because the bloom is off the rose think carefully. Your grown up children will balk at your decision. Their mother will be alone. You would have abandoned her just because of age. If it is sex you want like you had in your early years, speak to her about it. Read some books together on how to rekindle your marriage. Go and watch porn if that is what you want to do. If your reasons are weak for leaving and you are making this decision just because you want to feel young again, clean up your own appearance and thinking first, and ask yourself if that girl is going to be there for you when you are ill at seventy five years of age. Remember, it takes two people to tango. If one has forgotten the steps, it is easy to take a few lessons. It would be easier than starting all over again and a month later realize that you have made a mistake.



Advice, Long Term Relationship, Married, Relationship Issue, Wants Divorce

Meet the author

author avatar RaydaJ
Published novelist of ten books, dozens of short stories, and hundreds of articles. Will focus on health which has many areas, and on parenting.

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author avatar shallimarRose
24th Apr 2012 (#)

I cant even imagine. My husband and I are still madly in love and renewing our vows in October.. Interesting write.. sR

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author avatar mistyleaf
24th Apr 2012 (#)

Hi Rayda. Divorcing after living together for 30 years is selfishness. I hope that he won't regret it. Thank you.

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author avatar Christine Crowley
24th Apr 2012 (#)

I hope he won't regret it, either. Selfishness is correct.

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author avatar RaydaJ
25th Apr 2012 (#)

Thank you girls for your comments - it is selfishness to the core.

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author avatar RaydaJ
3rd May 2012 (#)

Whoever you are, thanks for warning me. I deleted the comments in gibberish and hope this is the end. Thanks again.

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