What to Do When Your Man Pulls Away From You!

sanjay chauhan By sanjay chauhan, 22nd Dec 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Women like to talk it out, guys like to work it out. They do not do this with us; they do it alone. Men often believe that if they share their feelings with us too much, it will diminish their masculinity. He might as well be a girl if he can't sort though his own messes, he thinks.

We have to first understand their logic behind this: it's called the psychological cave. This is wherever men go privately to work out, sort out, and process information.

What to Do When Your Man Pulls Away From You!

When He Pulls Away, Don't Push
Surprisingly, guys have survived for thousands of years like this. And like the cavemen before him, will protect his cave from invading questions. Guys hate to give on-the-spot answers to the questions asked by us females. Why? Because they know it will be followed up with more questions!

The bottom line: don't push for answers when he goes into his mental cave. If you do, he will take your pushing as clinginess, and that will draw him away from you more. If you assume he is mad or tell him you know what he's feeling, he will perceive you as too needy. Clinginess and being too needy are major turn-offs for men. If you bother him while he's trying to be alone, it could be the reason he decides to leave you alone for good.

Give Him Space, No Matter What

Yes, ladies, I know this drives you crazy.

We assume the worst when our man has gone silent: that they have lost interest in us, that they don't want to talk to us, that they are mad at us, etc. Step away slowly from the panic button, and remember that he is just being a man.

Men need space more than we do. When we talk to our girlfriends we can talk for hours about how much he upset us and how dense he is. This is not the case for men. When they hang out with a male friend the purpose is not to talk about their feelings, lest they look like a little girl in front of another guy.

Give him the time he needs to sort though his bullshit, without adding to it. He will come back and be able to explain in simple words what happened. Don't expect some long drawn out answer. It's not like he was studying for a test! He will address it, and maybe add that he feels closer to you now. Or maybe he noticed you've been trying to keep him in a good mood. Ultimately, wait for him to break the ice and come to you with what he was mulling over.

Keep the drama on low, and you'll be golden.

Last Advice: Stand Your Ground and Respect Yourself!
In case you haven't yet gathered, men are simply not as complex as we make them out to be. If they want to share with you, they will. If not, then they won't. Still, that doesn't mean they can't be tricky. The key is to know when to push and know when to give him space.

If he's pulling away, he probably does have a reason, but you can't force it out of him. After an argument, let him process in silence. It won't take as long if you let him think, and most of the time it's not as dire as it may seem. Give him space. If he still doesn't want to address it, then be direct and ask if everything is okay. If he says yes, leave it alone. Don't fix what isn't broken.

If he breaks up with you during this time, or looks to be with other women, he might be testing you to see how much you will endure for him. When you've had enough, call him out on it. Make it clear you won't be waiting around for him anymore; you're moving on. Yes, you may be hurt, but guys respond to assertiveness. If you say it with enough conviction, he will believe it, and if he really wants you, he will claim you. If not, he was a waste of your time. Move on!


Relationship Advice, Relationship Help, Relationship Issues, Relationship Problems, Relationships

Meet the author

author avatar sanjay chauhan
my name is sanjay.
I grew up in Gujarat (India) in small town in poor family, I was decided to earn money help family ,I join my dream job in hindalco (India).
after I came Dubai got great job.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
23rd Dec 2014 (#)

Well how about when the husband has a mental disability and you get hammered because of it and it makes him promiscuous too with lack of responsibility to family.
Here is what I did,told his entire clan would rather be a widow and walked out with my child and showed they were religiously intolerant but wanted to buy out the child not give him anything for his education and life comfort. Told the Mother in law keep her bloody Indianised son and walked out.

Let him file for the divorce if he wishes and he cannot as he is mentally handicapped.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
23rd Dec 2014 (#)

Oh yea, he walked out alright and what he did was not decent in any means of his reality and his family life.

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author avatar viewgreen
23rd Dec 2014 (#)

Wonderful article and good for sharing... Just avoid Lady! Happy New Year my friend! Thank you.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
23rd Dec 2014 (#)

Indeed what Viewgreen said, that LA is nothing and ignorant many people erase her posts! Awesome writing and great one too!

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author avatar sanjay chauhan
24th Dec 2014 (#)

Thanks Happy New Year to all muahh

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21st Jan 2015 (#)

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