What makes us fall in love

RaydaJ By RaydaJ, 17th Mar 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

What makes us want, feel and need love? Where does it come from? Have the answers about love been answered?

love to be loved

And what is love? How do we fall in love? What makes us fall in love? These are only some of the questions that have been asked about love. Sages and poets and experts have all tried to answer the question; yet one is not satisfied with the answer or the right answer has not yet been revealed. Is it catching a whiff of perfume? Is it a glimpse of a woman with haunting eyes in a black billowing raincoat standing in the wind? Is it a primitive need to protect?

The business of love

Some say it’s a cocktail of chemicals to the brain, others say it’s a template buried deep in the subconscious for the ideal partner and when we come close to it we respond. I could go with both these answers as dopamine is a euphoric hit to the brain, and the ideal template makes a lot of sense; remnants of the past, that kind of thing. Yet, it does not reveal all that love is or what makes us love and want love. Love is probably one of man’s most important needs. For example, a mother can still the cries of a baby just by putting her arms around her. As an adult a woman goes out into the world looking for something or someone. She cannot articulate what it is, but it’s a need that stills the senses and makes her feel safe.

The Bachelor Pad

Last night on the Bachelor Pad I watched a beautiful couple vying with other couples – all single – to compete for a prize of a quarter million rand. The first time we see this couple, they have just paired up in the game. The next time we see them a few days later they have spent the night together and were getting up. The woman asked the man straight out if he loved her. He did not answer. She then said she loved him. He still did not respond. As I watched I felt a little sad that these women put their desperation on display. They had all just met recently. They believed they would find their man by coming on the show. There were some recycled contestants – those who had either been the prize or those who were there for their second or third time. They all looked like little Kardashians with blond hair hoping to make it big and find the right man. They were in a fairy tale setting but wanted real-world commitment answers.

Marriage not a fairytale

As I watched the couples I was nevertheless fascinated. Beautiful and stunning as this girl who had asked the big no question was, she was insecure. She needed to be validated. She needed to lean on the arm of a man and be seen. She needed to show that she had succeeded in finding a man. Am I surprised? No. We are all looking for that one particular person with the ready made template. In cavemen days men hunted, and women gathered firewood and berries. We have ingrained inside all of us the notion of family; a momma bear, a poppa bear, and the little cubs. We feel out of sorts if we do not have that experience. The prize was a quarter million rand. The price was pain and humiliation.


http://www.raydajacobs.blogspot.com

Tags

Emotional Love, Emotions, Hormones, In Love, Love, Physical Love

Meet the author

author avatar RaydaJ
Published novelist of ten books, dozens of short stories, and hundreds of articles. Will focus on health which has many areas, and on parenting.

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Comments

author avatar Floris56
17th Mar 2012 (#)

When it is good, it is very, very good. When it is bad it is horrid. Just like the little girl in the book.

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author avatar RaydaJ
18th Mar 2012 (#)

Evil is more like it

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author avatar Mikey.
18th Mar 2012 (#)

Love i don't know what it is but it's powerful stuff.I met my wife 33 years ago and i feel the same for her today as i did back then.
So there's a lot to be
said for it.Great page Rayda
hope you are lucky with love too.

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author avatar RaydaJ
21st Mar 2012 (#)

I've been so lucky, Mikey, I can package it... three times... I'm a single girl now and love it

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author avatar RaydaJ
19th Mar 2012 (#)

Thank you Mikey. You are indeed fortunate. Some people are on their own journey and pass through and leave insight and experience.

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author avatar Delicia Powers
20th Mar 2012 (#)

well said...

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author avatar RaydaJ
21st Mar 2012 (#)

Times two

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