What difference does having a third child make

Bex8814Starred Page By Bex8814, 24th Mar 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Parenting

What difference does it make to have a third child? My experiences on becoming a mother for the third time - 1st section and 3rd boy!!

All photographs my own, proud mother and unashamed of this :)

Adding to the family

We were happy family of 4 with 2 sons. Life was running smoothly, our youngest child was just in to pre school and I suppose I started to suffer with empty nest syndrome. That longing that only mothers know of when you yearn to hold a newborn in your arms, you start to wonder - will you ever do that again?

It's been a while since you were hanging out little romper suits on the washing line, and your laundry has become one of slogan t-shirts, superhero pyjamas and underpants! There is nothing to remotely resemble the presence of a baby in the home, with soft toys given over to fire trucks, dinosaurs and lazer guns.

To add to the brood or not?
The discussion comes, with rarely both parties being in agreement and the list of pros and cons but nothing can beat the overwhelming maternal instinct to have another baby. You've already had two, how hard could it be to add another to the brood?

And here come the pitter patter

And so Mummy gets her own way, the special cuddle(s) begin and after nearly a year of these cuddles, a baby began to grow. As a mother of two sons, the thought of pink was something I began to wonder about. A baby sister with two older brothers, clothes shopping with my little girl, ballet classes, boyfriend troubles, a best friend for life....

It's a Boy!

I am ashamed to admit that I wasn't overjoyed to learn at first that the baby was to be our third boy. This was momentarily. And soon the family were overjoyed with excitement at the thought of a new baby in the house, to complete our family.

The Big Brothers

At the time of pregnancy my sons were aged 6 and 4 and knew exactly what was going on. They were almost fit to bursting at the thought of having a baby brother, and the questions were endless. My eldest boy would spend hours with his head on my belly convinced he could hear his sibling, and this was a magical time.

I involved the boys in much of the decision making, including room decor for the nursery, little outfits and our babies name. They needed to be a part of this, I felt that was important and they embraced every aspect of being older brothers.

Unfortunately, the pregnancy wasn't an easy one and I suffered terribly with Symphis Pubis Dysfunction resulting in be being bed bound from 30 weeks. This was an unbearably difficult time, I felt I was no mother to my children and all of the burden fell to my partner - who did remarkably well and became quite the dab hand in the kitchen. His love, care and support kept the family strong and I will be eternally grateful.

And here he is...

I went into labour naturally at 38 weeks. A memory I will always keep is that is was 4am and I was in bed, in complete agony, when my little 4 year old walked in:

''Please can you go and get Daddy, Mummys feeling poorly'' Off he trots only to return a couple of minutes later with his plastic tea pot (from his tea set) filled with water and a blanket for me, to make me better.

The labour progressed, as this was 2 weeks before my section date it was to be treated as an emergency section - I still got to the full dilation alone and with no drugs but I can take no credit for the actual birth of my first child and only thank a fantastic medical team.

Welcoming a third child

The first few days at home were utter bliss. Family and friends rallied round, the house was kept immaculate, meals were cooked and I was given the time to bond with my child - this is something I never previously had with my other sons and I relished every moment of it. Thomas was with me from morning til night - and all through the night! This was one of the most enjoyable times of my life, I watched his face for hours upon hours and tended his every whim. My sons were complete angels and couldn't do enough to be helpful, they were besotted with their little brother and fully stepped up to the mark of being big brothers.

And so we come to now...

My life at present is one of stress, little sleep, worries - love, joy, laughter and harmony. I am a working mother of three young boys, one with additional needs. I have a full time job, which I am lucky enough to do from home and I have a laundry basket which seems to have the ability to breed - constantly.

Nothing is ever tidy, there are fingermarks, toy trucks, rattles and dust almost everywhere. But do you know what? Not a single day goes by where my sons do not tell me they love me, where I don't laugh, where I don't cuddle, where I don't thank my lucky stars for the three wonderful and amazing little men I have bought into this world.

I do my very best for my children, but the most important thing I do is love them. I am here to listen to their every worry, sooth their every fear, remove their every nit and kiss their every graze, I am their mummy and they are my whole world.

Having a third child has completely changed my world, and I did not think it would. I am responsible for a whole other human being, one with needs, one with thoughts, wishes and one who needs me.

I gain 5 hours sleep, on a good night, I work from Son up to Son down and I treasure these days as they will not last long, I know this from experience.

If you're up for a challenge, for your life to be on a continual fast forward button, then a third child is for you. If, like me, you think it will be a walk in the park then think again. You get out what you put in - but there's a hell of a lot that needs putting in!

Tags

Child, Childbirth, Childhood, Children, Parenting

Meet the author

author avatar Bex8814
Mother of 3 - Writing focusing on personal experiences and information I have learnt regarding business, children, animals, immigration, places as well as current media stories from different angles

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Comments

author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
25th Mar 2014 (#)

I only had one child, a son. A lot of people cannot afford more children, or do not have time for them.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
25th Mar 2014 (#)

I only had a couple!

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
25th Mar 2014 (#)

I would have loved to have been blessed with more than One but honestly, after living my life, I am proud to be a mother of One as I know the true hardships of being a father and a mother at the same time, providing for my child singlehandedly and even educating and providing the nurturing that would help grow the mind. While I never gave birth to many but just One, I prided myself of being a teacher to kids training them in Montessori, music and even babysitting them. Its fun but as Mark put it, resources are essential to be able to provide for them. In my case, I am just a Married Single with a deranged husband who is good for nothing who brings up her child alone with the minimal resource provided to me by the One Above.
God Bless your family and may you be provided with resources that would help you provide them with the amenities and resources to have a good life foundation.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
25th Mar 2014 (#)

I am a biological mother of One BTW, although many say I never gave birth to my own child because of my physical appearance.

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author avatar peachpurple
12th Jun 2014 (#)

so beautiful

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author avatar Bex8814
13th Aug 2014 (#)

Thank you so much :)

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author avatar Bex8814
13th Aug 2014 (#)

Mark Gordon Brown - 'A lot of people cannot afford more children, or do not have time for them.'

With the rate of childcare currently in the UK I could not afford to work out of the home, unless I dropped real lucky. However, the necessary things for a child are easy to come by - charity shops, hand-me-downs, second hand items through online websites - the financial cost of another child isn't an issue if you can be thrifty and cut down on things, which we have done so.

We enjoy a caravan holiday every two years, we don't go out, have hobbies, SKY subscriptions, fancy items or branded clothing and our luxuries are our children.

Nobody in the home has suffered financially for having a third child and the process was more than affordable. It's actually amazing to discover the things which you actually didn't need but were spending a fortune on!

Changing where you do your grocery shopping can be a huge difference to a family budget, as can changing your habits - for example, a treat doesn't need to a trip to the cinemas, it can be a night of games at home (board games bought at a charity shop for around $2 a piece).

Life is what you make it, if you want to afford something there are ways and means of being able to.

As for not having the time, it's about weighing up your options. I work throughout the night and spend the majority of the day with my children, with sleep being the least of my priorities.

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