What Tears Couple Apart

Nan Joe By Nan Joe, 5th Mar 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Compatibility in a relationship is of most importance. If each partner have their own way and interests, most likely that realtionship will not last or will be strained. So shared interests and goals keep a relationship in healthy state.

What Affects Couples?

Marriage problems arise when the couple lacks shared goals and interests, thus each one prefers spending time with those who share interests in the activities he or she enjoys. Sexual incompatibility is not the number one issue because any two adults can be sexually compatible if they possess the desired equipment. Infidelity and excitement and fun gone from sexual relationships are among other things that affect couples.
Yesterday’s marriage was held together by struggle for survival. Couples were concerned with providing for their families more than they were with building a good relationship. Today’s marriage is totally different because it is more relational/ The pendulum has swung to the other direction and couples now think more in terms of wanting emotional rather than physical needs met. So, communication tops every ones list because it is basic to intimate relationship. Communication is what sparks caring, giving, sharing and affirmation. Unless we understand each other clearly in the principles of listening and speaking, we can’t really know or understand each other. We will always feel neglected and misunderstood.

Why Couples can't communicate:

Many reasons exist why we can’t achieve good communication. The most prevalent is that skills have not been taught or learned. A husband who comes homes in the evening and just says “Hi Honey” at the door which pretty well sums up the whole evening’s conversation or a wife who sinks into silent treatment because her husband said something that hurt her feelings and she was not able to tell him for the sake of everybody’s peace. These two people are not demonstrating they have mastered many communication skills. Many couples keep their communication on a superficial level because they lack the basic skills in the art of communication.
Another reason husband and wife fail to communicate is because they are afraid to share their inner and private thoughts and feelings for fear of being hurt or rejection.. They feel that it is easier to avoid and repress ideas and feelings than it is to learn how to process them properly. This reason is connected with how we feel about ourselves. Sometimes couples feel that their opinions are worthless, so why try to share them and besides, who wants to hear them? This will often happen when your partners shoot you down, so you decide to shut yourself in because it is easier to withdraw than to be hurt.

Tags

Compatibility, Infidelity, Sexual Attraction

Meet the author

author avatar Nan Joe
Working and talking about families and relationships is my passion. Families are the foundation of who we really are.

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