Things you should Not Talk about on a First Date

Mark Gordon BrownStarred Page By Mark Gordon Brown, 19th Nov 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

People often worry about what they should say on a first date, but it is also important to know what they should not say. For those of you who are preparing for a first date here are some suggestions of what not to say and what not to talk about.

Do Not Mention your Income

Not only can talking about a high income make you seem like you are bragging but additionally you risk creating a situation where the person continues to date you only because of your money. If it looks like all you care about is talking about how much money you make you will be boring to a good partner who hopefully is into more than that.

If you have a high paying job you might even want to fudge the title of your position a bit if asked. For example if you own your own business, when asked what kind of work you do you might say you work in sales rather than saying you own your own store.

Do Not Talk About Your Last Relationship

Nobody wants to hear a long story about how your last relationship did not work out. It may come off either as though you still miss that person, are still “in love” with that person” or as though you are extremely bitter and angry. If asked you should offer a simple reply without going into details.

Talking about past relationships is not a good way to start a new one, and is something that should not be mentioned on a first date.

Avoid Talking About your Children

If you have children it is fine to mention them when on a first date but only if asked, however if you continue talking about your kids it is usually boring to the other person. Additionally nothing scares people off more than the complications of entering a relationship where kids are already involved and may complicate things in the future. It is better to get to know a person first, but even then people often do not want to hear you ramble on about how cute your kids are or things your kids just did.

Keep Quiet about your Sex Life

Talking about your sex life on a first date is a total turn off, unless perhaps you met on a fetish website, but if you are dating a person you just met then talking about what you like sexually is a no-no. Also talking about how “good you are” is a no-no.

Guys do not want to get serious with a girl who has slept around a lot and will just use her for a one-night stand.

Girls do not want to feel that the guy they are dating is a total pig.

Avoid Hogging the Conversation to Talk about Yourself

Of course you want to talk about yourself a bit, but if you go on and on you will appear to be very self centered and nobody wants to be with a person who is only interested in themselves. It is important to balance talking about yourself with asking the other person about themselves. Keep in mind when they are talking about themselves your role is to listen and not try to find every opportunity to turn the conversation into being about you.

Other Things to Avoid Talking about on a First Date

Do not say you have been planning your wedding since you were a child.
Do not say how much you hate your job, or how pathetic your life is.
Do not say what a good catch you are.
Do not say you will call the person later, if you have no intention of doing so.

Links

Ten Worst Places for a First Date
Ten Best Places for a First Date

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Tags

Conversation, Date, Dating, First, New, Relationship, Say, Talk About, Tips, What To Do

Meet the author

author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
Raised in Michigan, I have a son who recently joined the Military. I am living in Canada with my wife where we have a hobby farm.

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Comments

author avatar johnnydod
19th Nov 2012 (#)

Bloody good advice

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
19th Nov 2012 (#)

most interesting as as Johnny says..bloody good advice...ta ever so!

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author avatar Judy Ellen
19th Nov 2012 (#)

Yes, I very much agree!! Bloody good advice!!

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author avatar David Reinstein,LCSW
20th Nov 2012 (#)

Probably best to not mention your mother, past relationships or whatever it is you might find a tad annoying about the other person ...

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author avatar writestuff
20th Nov 2012 (#)

Very sage advice. Being careful with regard to income disclosures is extremely inmportant for not too savy seniors.

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author avatar Retired
20th Nov 2012 (#)

I'm too old to date, but I think you have very good advice:)

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
20th Nov 2012 (#)

Thought provoking and wise. Once the words are out, we cannot take them back! Better to be practical than trying to impress. After all, marriage is certainly not a walk in the park! siva

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author avatar Christine Crowley
20th Nov 2012 (#)

Good advice. I wonder how many do this?

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author avatar Buzz
21st Nov 2012 (#)

Thanks for the tips, Mark.

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