The analysis of marriages

abhishek123 By abhishek123, 30th Apr 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Weddings

About Love Marriages & then Ego Marriages. When teh ego in marriages supercedes teh love, the residue is an energy blockade

Ego Marriage

To all the butterflies in my belly, I would say just one thing. You all need to mature,grow up and stop behaving like teenage beauties getting excited every time there was a celebrity disaster coming. Request you all to pursue deep breathing exercises while I concentrate and prepare for the upcoming humiliation.
Marriage configurations could be many depending upon the faith you practice, the local beliefs, the sex ratio and then your choice of genders etc. But largely the stratification could be done at two levels, the ones in which your family got involved and got it done for you and the ones where you muddled up yourself and then pulled the rest of the society in. The former style is loosely called the 'Arranged marriage' configuration, while the latter is termed as 'Love marriage'. A small but rising community is that of love-cum-arranged marriages where the supposed frailties of Love at the beginning of a relationship are cemented with a concrete understanding between the families. This is supposed to reduce the risk & damages caused by evaporation of love subsequently in marriages. There is a huge risk of love fleeing out of Love marriages because the initial understanding of assets such as relationships, feeling etc become liabilities with changing emotional cycles. Once the binding glue itself is veneered, people hopelessly drag their feet waiting for an up turn in emotions.

But the butterflies, are still restless and are beginning to go on a hunger strike.

In the loose category of Love marriages, lies a sleeping cell, which I would prefer to call as Ego marriages. I have seen many and so would have all of us.

Let me describe them to you so that we have a similar understanding. To be able to love someone,other than oneself... one has to be happy with himself/ herself....bare minimum. To be able to find happiness in the company of someone outside of you,you will require to have that energy to be happy being yourself. Though this goes beyond gender but women traditionally are able to do it much better than men where years of conditioning have coached them how sacrifice & self abnegation make them devout in India. Since it suits us males so well, there are movies which condition only further.

The same convenience drills in suppression and suffocation of women as mass effects in our society. More on that some other time. The butterflies are puncturing the walls of my belly for something else.

Energy, mind engineering, re-wiring or whatever new bottle you sell the old wine in, the essentials will remain the same, be it Chemical bonding, physical bonding or marriages.

The ego marriages are the ones which have a lack or a want rather than fulfillment in their foundation. Males would be aware of this feeling of achievement in marriages or in courtship which is so intertwined with excitement that its difficult to separate the harmonics. The supposed love sprouts from the achievement thought, stubbornness or peer pressure, which gently guides them into believing them this is love. Sadly all that they want inside is another achievement or a medal through that marriage which announces their arrival. Happiness in such ventures will become another achievement only,ephemeral. What energy will the bonding thrive on when one of the partners is lapping up all of it in feeding the achievements silently. Gradually, the spouse will emaciate.

"You don't love me anymore? Do you? "

" oh! darling actually I have never been able to love you all this while. did not you realise, I cant love myself... how will i love you? " or "I love myself only... where is teh time-space to accomodate your requests"

Love for your spouse, on the other hand will supply all the energy required because it is so full and content with what it is already and will be willing to shower more. The conduit of energy, the circuit, rushes to complete itself starting from one partner to the other.

The butterflies tell me that the morphing from love to ego & in marriages keeps happening all the time.Its up to the two of you. What you will believe in and for how long you hold on to that belief, will manifest. They also tell me that they like to get up from their rest position when they fear that Mr. Ego is going to get hurt.


Divorce, Love, Marriage, Sex, Wedding

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