The Title of Wonderful Birth Giver

WonderfulBirthGiver By WonderfulBirthGiver, 26th Oct 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/3khcbdep/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Parenting

The first of my Wonderful Birth Giver blogs to help unite all moms. Remember the moment you became a Wonderful Birth Giver for the first time? The joy you felt and the fear of the unknown. To the new Wonderful Birth Givers, that feeling never goes away and enjoy it! To all the newly empty nest Wonderful Birth Givers like me, well hold on to your socks (aka memories) and let's enjoy the ride.
I am going to share with you the top 3 things I am so grateful I did with my children.

I'm A Wonderful Birth Giver Forever

When I started this journey over 20 years ago, I had no idea that I could or would feel so much emotion for another human being. Taking on the role as Wonderful Birth Giver, aka Mommy, changed the way I looked at the world. I began to see the possibilities in life for someone other than myself. I saw the dangers of the world more clearly and watched them more carefully. I knew there had been other birth givers before me but "Wonderful" was a title I was going to work hard to earn. If I could bare the title of Wonderful Birth Giver in the eyes of my children then maybe one day they would desire the same with their children. I know now that this isn't a title that only one person can hold nor is it a meant to be a competition. I want to share with you the top 3 things I did with my children that I hope helped me earn this title. Our children strive to make us proud of them but they have no idea that we are doing the same thing. We want to be a Wonderful Birth Giver forever.

Top 3 Things I Am So Grateful I Did With My Children

I am sure I could list more than three things but it would start to be like a slideshow of vacation photos. It would only be interesting to you if you had actually went on the vacation.
#1 BE YOURSELF
I always wanted my children to know that it is okay to be themselves. Of course, always being respectful and using their manners, but never trying to be someone else. Example of this is when they started middle school. I knew they were hearing all sorts of curse words at school and so I used that to my advantage. I told them that they could say those words in front of me if they used them as adjectives only. They could not use them to disrespect me or anyone else. They could be used to help express a feeling or but not to invoke a feeling on someone else. I watched my children open up and share more things with me. They could relax and know that I was a safe place to express themselves. There were consequences for breaking the rules but after awhile they didn't feel the need to use them as much. Through our talks I feel that I had helped them understand what those words meant and how they were meant to be used. The novelty started to wear off while the conversations continued.
#2 I AM NOT PERFECT.
I embraced the fact that I was not going to be perfect. I would need to apologize and own up to my mistakes if I ever expected them to do the same for me. If I wanted them to be themselves than I had to do the same. I remember letting my emotions get the best of me more than a few times and I would say something to test this theory. Like when I would be in the middle of something and the kids were fighting and yelling for the fifth time that day and I yelled "Shut Up and go to your room!" Well I had told them many times that the phrase "shut up" was not allowed and was disrespectful. I had to calm myself down, extend myself grace and sit down with them and say that I was sorry. I explained that I should not have said that and I should have thought before I spoke. I would tell them again that I was not perfect but I would try to do better. We never liked the saying, practice makes perfect because we knew perfection is unattainable. We said practice makes your better and no one is perfect.
#3 ASK A QUESTION AND I WILL ANSWER HONESTLY
This one seems so easy but it is one of the hardest. It's a fine line between telling them everything and telling them what they are able to understand. We told them they could ask us anything but if they wanted more details they would have to ask more questions. Example is when they started to talk about drugs and alcohol in school. They wondered if we had every tried drugs or drank too much. We said yes but we didn't offer up all the details and every college party story. If they wanted to know about a certain drug or more details they would have to ask another question. They don't want to know every detail when they are in elementary school. They also don't know at that age what questions to ask or what information there is to find out. It gets harder as they get older to open yourself up to them because you fear that they will want to follow in your footsteps. I would never just give an answer without a true conversation. I always wanted to make sure they understood my answer, that we talked about how I felt about that topic and then how they felt or what they thought about what they heard. Starting this at a young age helped ease all of us into the process of being honest with each other.

The Start of Something Amazing

As a new empty nester, I have the chance to reflect on my life and the choices I have made. I could never claim to have all the answers or be an expert but I am a Wonderful Birth Giver aka Mommy.
I have always wanted to find a way to unite mothers and share stories of successes and failures. I try to be true to myself, honest to others and never claim to be perfect. I feel all mothers should be free from the stereotypes that the world has placed on us.
I hope this helped you in some way and you will join me in this journey of discovery.

Tags

Birth, Child, Childhood Memories, Children, College Student, Empty Feeling, Empty Nest Syndrome, Mommy, Mommys Understanding, Mother, Mother And Daughter, Mother Love, Mothers, Mothers Heart, Mothers Love, Mothers Love The Best Love, Parenting, Parenting Advice, Parenting Tips, Parents

Meet the author

author avatar WonderfulBirthGiver
I am a Mother, Nanny, Wife & an Empty Nester.
I realize that being a Wonderful Birth Giver, aka Mommy, is a full time job that never ends! Moms Unite & Help each other. No More Secrets!

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Comments

author avatar AjaySinghChauhan
26th Oct 2014 (#)

good post very useful and informative. Thanks for sharing your ideas with us.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
8th Nov 2014 (#)

Being honest and upfront with questions and answers go a long way in building long lasting trust and bonding with children. Thanks for this share - siva

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