The Pros and Cons of spying on your partner

Ephraim Rose By Ephraim Rose, 5th Jun 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

This will be an informative piece through my personal experience with friends, relatives and myself on spying on your partner. It will seem as if by spying it would all be positive for you will either get information for staying or leaving the relationship. Along with spying you can hit a couple of roadblocks that can damage a relationship even when you do not find anything while spying.

Different ways people spy on their partner

When spying it will not only be through the means of looking through a persons phone but now people are even looking through tablets, email, social media, pockets, bags and even recently I heard of a person searching through their partners car. There are a number of different ways that you can spy or check up on your partner but understand that it could lead to something worse than just finding material on what your partner has done. Many times I have seen friends make bad choices based on their findings but some have made good choices as well with their findings.

The Pros of spying

If you choose to spy on your partner you may uncover things that will prove that they are cheating which in turn will help you to be able to make the decision to leave without being hurt in the long run. I had a family member who learned that his girlfriend was lying about going to work daily but instead was going out with another guy. This information hurt him but allowed him to not make the mistake of proposing to her to make her his wife, this is a good outcome from spying for it will help you to not make a mistake of staying with the a person who cheats. I do not recommend spying on your partner being that it is just a sign of mistrust which alone shows that the relationship is not going in the correct direction.

Another situation that was good was what I went through myself when my girlfriend left her Facebook profile on my phone and I received a message on her account. At this point I had two decisions to make which was read or not to read the message?. I chose to read the message and uncovered that while I was away in Iraq she held a relationship in my absence. This allowed me to end the relationship and then cancel the process of getting married, moving in together and starting a family with a person whim was a cheater. Now I understand that most people would say that people make mistakes which is true but me in my situation could not go on overseas anymore trusting a person that would do that to me in my absence.

The Cons of spying

Their are in fact cons of spying on your partner which I also founded out for myself during another relationship that I had in the past. The con was that I looked through her phone and noticed that she had been messaging another guy. Now like others it did not matter who is was or what they were talking about for all I saw was red (anger and negativity) at the time. Unfortunately I brought this up to her only to find out that it was a cousin but the damage had already been done due to her now believing that I did not trust her or that I was a person who would spy on her devices. This was a result in regards to my previous relationship which left me with the thought that she could not be trusted either in the relationship.

I also heard of another story through a friend who went looking through her boyfriends phone and was caught snooping. In her situation he simply approached her opened his phone and allowed her to view all details in his phone only to find nothing on him cheating or talking to other girls. This would seem like something that could be forgotten but afterwards he told her that he did not want to be with a snooper and then ended the relationship. This could have been prevented if she never looked in the first place but it was already too late this ending a relationship that could have been perfectly fine.

Personal conslusion

I strongly believe now after the situations I have been involved in that it is not fully worth looking through or spying on a partner. If you do not trust the person then ask them or talk to them about your suspicions or doubts about the relationship. This will allow the person to be honest with you in the relationship about their possible cheating or dishonest activities. Now I understand that the person can simply lie to you thus causing you to possibly be in a relationship that is not honest but if you do not trust them then simply end the relationship or spook them into being honest. If you decide that you are going to leave the relationship then maybe the truth will come out (of wrong doings) or the person will show you proof to make you stay in the relationship.

In a relationship you can only rely on your partners word or honesty which is something most people cannot do for they need to see evidence. If you need to go to option of spying on them then just ensure that you:

-are reading the information correctly
-Do not get caught
-Ensure the information is worth bringing up an argument of cheating or dishonesty
-Believe that it is worth the spying

I cannot say that it is morally right to spy on anyone but when it comes to love and relationship there is no correct way to tell anyone of what they can or cannot do in their relationship. I simply just want to inform others of what harm and good can be done from spying on your partner.


Phones, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Relationship Help, Relationship Issues, Relationship Problems, Relationships, Relationships Dating, Relationships Love, Spying

Meet the author

author avatar Ephraim Rose
I am a former United States Marine, Content writer for various sites. I previously wrote on relationships, military, finance, gaming, health, education, sports and many other topics on the site.

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author avatar Wright
9th Dec 2014 (#)

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