The Holidays are Near, Time to Heal Family Relationships

onenow By onenow, 16th Oct 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

In the United States we typically enter our most festive holiday season with the arrival of Thanksgiving. For most this is a time of gathering with family and friends to share food and to visit. For many, however, the holidays conjure up all types of hurtful memories. I usually send out an annual reminder that we can use these family gatherings to heal the pain inflicted by our family members.

The Holidays Are Fast Approaching

As we head into the holiday season (Thanksgiving is only 6 weeks away for us in the U.S.) we face one of the most challenging times of the year; that being time spent with our extended family.

In many cultures this is not a big issue but in the U.S. we have mostly moved away from the extended family model and live nestled in our nuclear families. For many of us, we prefer this arrangement because it keeps us from having to face the wounds which invariably rise up when we gather with our extended families. Typically, unless we are wisdom seekers, we would rather these ancient hurts remain buried.

This holiday season, I am committed to honoring my extended family by practicing compassion and understanding. I hope each of you will make similar commitments and embrace the holiday seasons as an opportunity to learn more about yourself.

I would like to remind you (and myself as well) that no one knows our secret hurts better than our family members. They are, without a doubt, our greatest teachers. In many cases, it was these exact individuals who helped us develop these painful memories, in the first place. It only makes sense that they are the ones to help us get over our resentments.

Today, I am thankful for having such skilled teachers in my life. Not only do I get the opportunity to examine areas in my life where I still do not love myself, but I also am offered plenty of practice at forgiving myself and others.

The Flashing Clock Metaphor

Not long ago, when I awoke, I noticed that my clock was flashing. I knew this meant that we had a power outage.

As I reset the clock, I clearly saw the metaphor:

Each day is a new day.
Each day is a chance to start over fresh.
Yesterday does not have any power over today,
which I do not give it.

Today I may forgive my yesterday
and I may recommit to staying in Love
totally present in the Now;
in the newness of this moment.

Today, I am thankful for those who love me enough
to point me in the direction
I need, for my self-healing.

Today, I forgive myself
For all the areas
where I fall short
of whom I think I Am
of whom I wish to be
of whom I think
I should be!

Today I love myself,
just as I am.

When I love myself enough
Perhaps I will free myself
of my need
for the approval of others.

As I begin my new day,
I am truly grateful
for each and every teacher
present in my life.

Today, once again,
I claim my independence.
as I affirm my freedom.

Thank you,
one and all!

Forgive Everyone, Everything

Forgive everyone, everything, right here and right now. If you are truly successful at this practice, and the memory of that person has safe passage through your mind, your holidays will be filled with unprecedented blessings. If anything other than blessing shows up, transform it, at the exact moment it appears. It is showing up, at precisely that moment because the time is right for healing.

There are no accidents. When you realize that every single conflict which appears is an opportunity that only this other, unique individual can offer you, you find it is wise to use it for your healing. If you give yourself this wonderful gift by following this advice, you will eventually discover that you are a better person for having made this choice, and maybe, just maybe, you will be in a position to enjoy all members of your family more than you ever have.


Article first published under same title at
Photographs are used by permission of


Anger, Family, Healing, Kindness, Love, Memories, Relationships, Resentment

Meet the author

author avatar onenow
I frequently refer to myself as a student of Love because everything I do is for the purpose of exploring and working to become the greatest expression of Love I am capable of becoming.

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author avatar brendamarie
17th Oct 2015 (#)

I love the poem!!!!

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author avatar onenow
17th Oct 2015 (#)

Thank you Brendamarie.

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author avatar Lady Aiyanna
17th Oct 2015 (#)

Forgiven my spouse but will never return to him. He can remain with his mummy dearest, who incidentally doesn't like me and wants her son all for herself.
So good luck, hope you patch up you relationships which may have had spousal displeasure amongst other things.
Truth be told, after what I have been through, never want to see another man/woman in a relationship status with me ever again for a lifetime. I am happy with my one Above.

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author avatar onenow
18th Oct 2015 (#)

I truly feel that it is in our relationships that we stand to learn the most in our lives. I think that is why we choose the relationships we do. Thanks for the note.

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author avatar gaurachand
17th Oct 2015 (#)

Yes we are grateful to all our teachers

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author avatar onenow
18th Oct 2015 (#)

Thank you for taking the time to comment.

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
18th Oct 2015 (#)

Indeed and well said my friend!

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author avatar onenow
18th Oct 2015 (#)

Thank you Fern.

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author avatar Carol Roach
23rd Oct 2015 (#)

our thanksgiving was in October, thank you for visiting my pages

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author avatar Kingwell
3rd Nov 2015 (#)

Thank you for sharing outstanding post and I hope you don't mind if I share the link on facebook and twitter. I especially enjoyed the affirmative poem. I plan to copy it and use it in my quiet time. Blessings.

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author avatar onenow
4th Nov 2015 (#)

I would love it for you to share a link to this writing.

Thank you for your kind comment. I appreciate you.

- Elliott

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