The Happiest Day of my Life

Carol RoachStarred Page By Carol Roach, 5th Apr 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/m599hrro/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Babies

Young mothers often have doubts about if they would be a good mother but those doubts often disappear when they see their baby for the first time.

Afraid he would be a boy


When the seed of life was planted within me, I was told the baby would not be welcome, especially if it was a boy. My grandmother did not like boys. As much as I loved her, I told her I could not deny the flesh of my flesh, the blood of my blood, the bones of my bones. It was a hard decision, but it was one that I had to make. The ultrasound revealed that he was indeed a boy. Oh if he could only be a girl, it would be that much easier. And then I would reprimand myself for such feelings.

What is my baby was not accepted

There were points in my life when I knew I was right. Then there were times when I questioned if I had made the right choice for a partner. What legacy was I leaving my child? I felt lonely. I felt alienated. I was a social pariah. My belly grew big and my worries swelled to immense proportions. I lived in a world of self-doubt. What if my child was not accepted? What if I had to make that break with my family, my lifeline, and my anchor through life?

The life of my unborn child and myself paralleled as I was a social outcast all of my life, and now even before birth, he would be one too. This realization served to reinforce my determination and my spirit. We would make it in the world, alone if we had to, but we would be together. During the pregnancy with the hormonal swings and mental anxiety, all I needed to do was touch my protruding stomach.

The immediate comfort from this simple act can only be truly understood by a mother. I envisioned my baby, sleeping peacefully in my womb. I would feel a surge of energy release from my hand to his resting place. My baby would stir; he would know what I was feeling. He would send out his loving vibes back to me, the feeling of sweet honey milking my veins. I was one with my son.

baby boy

This was a bond that only a mother can understand. I knew that what ever happened in my life, we were together and then my troubled mind would relax. My heart would flutter. I could feel a blanket of peace descend upon me, covering and keeping us both safe from the outside world. We were cocooning. We were protected; we were enveloped in a blanket of love.

I could feel my mood lift. The painful thoughts surfacing through my soul were released. They had wings to fly away; forever gone; expelled from memory, vanquished from existence. I felt light, oh so light. The weight was lifted my soul, the chains of indecision broken.

I wore the armor of truth, the armor of protection, the armor of strength to face any battle head on, and face them I did. I fought so many battles, and I rose triumphant. My baby was born. My family indeed accepted him.

I held my baby

However I did not get to hold my baby until six days after his birth. I could only see him behind the window of the hospital nursery. I was running a fever. I could not take the chance to infect him in anyway. But my heart yearned for my child. I was not complete without him. Finally, on the sixth day, I was told that my fever had broken and I would get to hold and feed my baby for the first time.

Oddly enough, I waited patiently as I heard the babies wheeled down to their mothers from outside my room. I could not see anything but I could hear the babies' individual cry. Five babies passed by, but I knew they were not him, they were not my son. Finally the sixth baby was coming and I heard the cry, that husky cry.

It was him; the voice that had spoken to my soul. It was the voice that I had heard from within me for so long; the voice that was part of me. No one had to tell me that my baby was coming; I knew!

We watched him sleep; we counted his breaths, noting his chest lift with each breath he took. We lovingly looked upon the ethereal smile of this little angel. We stroked his little cherub face. We wondered out loud how this little bundle of perfection could come from two less than perfect individuals. We basked in the joy of creation and the aftermath of love. I remember that day as if it was yesterday. It was and will always be the happiest day of my life.

All photos taken from the public domain

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Tags

Babies, Baby, Baby Boys, Baby Girls, Happiest Day Of My Life, Happy Days, Having A Baby, My Baby

Meet the author

author avatar Carol Roach
Retired therapist and author of two books, freelance writer, newsletter editor, and blogger. I write, health, mental health, women's issues, animal , celebrity, history, and SEO articles.

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Comments

author avatar Retired
6th Apr 2015 (#)

Carol I love this post.
Reminds me of the day I held my baby boy in my hands. It felt like the world stood still, so I could stare at him forever.
Great one Carol

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author avatar Shamarie
6th Apr 2015 (#)

Great post, Carol! I enjoyed reading this emotional and heartfelt article!

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author avatar spirited
6th Apr 2015 (#)

Lovely share Carol,

I am always surprised at the deepness of this mother-child bond.

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