The Diary Inside my Heart

irene paula By irene paula, 7th Sep 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Daily Life

Memories will forever stay inside a persons heart no matter how painful or sad it may seem.

Write Everything, Remember Everything

I am Filipino descent born in the year of the monkey. I was young back then that’s when I started writing in a recycled notebook that I made during our art classes in fifth grade in elementary way back 2003. I just wrote what happen the whole day and that includes boys that I liked, friends who always with me, my sister and cousins, places we’ve been together. I realized I am writing a diary.

So I have to do something, I need to hide it, I need to keep it safe so that no one will see and read it.

I reached high school and I am still writing in my journal. Teenage life for me was so dramatic and enjoyable. It was the time when all of us at my age experience everything for the first time. They say when a teenager is emotional they need to talk to their friends or anyone who could listen and give advise I say write your feelings down. During those times I enjoy writing because I can express myself freely without others judging me and through it I learned that a lot, like myself being expressive, reflecting to my wrong acts, advising and understanding my own self and it help me reduce my stress.

I remember the first time I wrote five pages was when we had our first Junior and Senior prom year 2008. I never expected that the guy I like will walk, stand beside me held out his hand and asked me to dance. I wrote in full emotions, I remembered drawing lots of heart pierced through an arrow and name it Iane and Irene. I had my feelings for him for the 8 years. He was my first dance, my first love and my first kiss. Those were the days when I am happy I write.

When I’m sad I try my best to write on my diary because I know it will help me. One of the days when I was so sad was when I was in college. I was a student nurse and caring for an 84 year old dying patient who was diagnosed of Cardiovascular Accident. We were inside the Intensive Care Unit because he needs a life support that means his unconscious, and he can no longer breath without the help of a machine. I was assigned to him. Taking care of this patient was hard I admit I focused on paper works instead of the patient because working inside the ICU was intense and stressful. One day when I’m about to approach and see my patient I saw his granddaughter standing beside the bed holding the patients arm while praying. As I go nearer I noticed that she was crying so I decided to give her some time alone with his grandfather. When I was back to my station I felt tears running through my cheeks so I head straight to the locker room. I imagined myself in her situation with my loving grandmother lying in that bed I thought I would do same thing. After a moment I finally approach the patient checked his vital signs, inspect everything and then I noticed the patient arm. There was a paper I looked at it and it says “I love you Grandpa”. I close my eyes hold the patient arm and I prayed and wished that he will get better.

This experience of everyday in my life that I wrote in my diary will never go away I will forever remember it because of this experiences it made me a better person. Now as I try and read them, it makes me go back to the old simple me.

Tags

Diary, Life, Relationships, Teenagers, Thoughts

Meet the author

author avatar irene paula
I am a registered nurse who loves to read and collect books. I don't go by the author but as I browse a bookstore I got fascinated by the title of the book but I always dream of writing a book.

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