The Dark Side of Domestic Violence: Emotional Abuse

Empress By Empress, 6th May 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Domestic Violence & Abuse

It's time to shed light on the emotional and mental abuse aspect of a domestically violent and abusive relationship.

Shedding Light On The Emotional Aspect of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence and abuse has been a topic in every form of the media for many years. It has been taken from the shadows behind closed door right into the main light of day and yet still, very little is know about how damaging the emotional effects can be. In fact, the only part you will ever really read or hear about when in regards to domestic violence and abuse is the physical aspect. I do agree that it is a huge part of abuse. Anyone laying their hand (or other body part) on another person in a hurtful way should not be allowed. My question though is....why has no one really taken the time to dialogue about the other forms of domestic violence and abuse? The forms that go on so often, still behind closed doors, still within the shadows.
I, personally, have come from a domestically violent and emotionally abusive relationship. I can say for certain that through the years the emotional side of abuse grew until it became the physical. When the physical was brought to light it then turned to the mental. This is the cycle of domestic violence and abuse. The media tends to portray the physical portion, focusing on the bruises, broken bones, and blood shed. You hear very little about the other two forms and they coincide very strongly with the physical side. The damaging effects from the mental and emotional abuse can take years to heal, if at all. Victims could potentially be scarred for a life in a way that can never be fixed.
For myself, I allowed the emotional abuse to go on because I didn't know any better. I actually allowed him to convince me that I was exactly what he said, stupid, ugly, unloveable. If we would have an argument he would convince me it was all my fault, I had started the fight because I was a monster. When he cheated on me he convinced me that, yet again, it was my fault because I wasn't there for him enough. That's the problem with emotional abuse.....it's hard to track, and it's even harder to shed light on. The fact that there are so many ways to damage a person emotionally and mentally leaves a very wide door open for domestic violence and abuse.
The simple reality is that the emotional effects felt and left behind with domestic violence and abuse, will never go away. The scars left will never fully heal. The victim will forever walk around with that feeling of fear, dread, hatred,and uselessness. And I, for one, am tired of only hearing the one sided story to the whole issue. There are so many victims out there that will never receive the help they need to cope because so few realize that the emotional and mental abuse are just as bad as the physical. In fact, in my own personal opinion, I would take my broken nose anyday over the names I have been called, and the "accusations" that were thrown at me. My nose healed, a bit crooked, but it healed with time. The scars on my heart, on my soul, they have never healed. When something good happens in my life I always think back to those names, I always reach into that nasty bag of tricks and pull out something to prove to myself that I am not worthy of good. And I am positive I am not the only one.
Until the media starts shedding light on the other aspect, it will never be seen as a problem. From an insiders point of view I know it is a problem, my family knows it is a problem, and ninety percent of the public around me know it's a problem; but for others, they don't realize that it has such detrimental effects. Like bullying our children can cause such pain and has become such a source of contention in society, so too should the emotional and mental abuse circuit that plagues our many couples, relationships, and families.

Tags

Abuse, Domestic Abuse Story, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence Must Stop, Emotional Abuse, Mental Abuse, Mental Anguish

Meet the author

author avatar Empress
I write and have published poetry and was editor of the school newspaper all through highschool. I can write a variety of different genres from articles to novels

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