The Best Struggle is The Deepest

JoshuaClayton By JoshuaClayton, 5th Jul 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Daily Life

We all have problems at times, and the best way to change the water of difficult problems into the wine of genuine solutions is to look at any problem as a potential lesson or advancement reality. So, I begin by quoting William Clement Stone's pet saying: "Do you have a problem? That's good!" For through some of the worst, and most basic problems can come the best solutions and answers.

My Mom and I.

The other day, on the fourth of July holiday, we were in one of the few stores that were open in town, we had a small argument in the store. I will not say what it was about, but I will talk about the best way to handle disagreements when they do come up:

1. Always stay calm.
2. Keep an objective perspective.
3. Always strive to calmly understand both points of view, yours and theirs.

Sure, if those three things are practiced and practiced well, you will get where you want to go. But if you fly off the handle and end up doing the opposite of those three things, you will not get along with anyone or anything. The essence of anger and arguments after all, is misunderstanding or being lazy about understanding your own and their point of view on any reality.

Love is tolerance.

Without tolerance, and full understanding of what you are loving and why, there can not be any real love. Saying "I understand" cannot just be an unconscious habit, no matter how much you say it. It must mean something in your soul, or you understand nothing. It cannot be a thing that quells people. Understanding is something you feel deeply and should think about hard before you express it.

Love is understanding.

Striving to understand others and understanding yourself perfectly is most important. Without that, all the tolerance in the world and existence is insufferable and useless. For without the knowledge understanding gives, you can navigate nothing in reality. Of course, it takes a certain amount of creativity and imagination to come up with workable, good solutions to problems. But without that core of realistic understanding and ability to face a full reality, nothing is really possible except "big talk" and ineffective action. That may sound extreme in a way, but that is the genuine and honest truth of the reality that having and using well genuine understanding gives.

Love is patience.

Combine tolerance and understanding and you must get genuine and working patience that endures and is an enduring quality that works to bridge all "unrealistic gaps" through tolerance and understanding used productively and well. In fact, this is the key to all working friendships and all friendships really: Patience, understanding and tolerance. Patience is not the insufferable behavior I describe in the last section. No, it is creatively biding time and getting understanding to be able to tolerate and genuinely work through all situations. It is not being fearful to act at all, but to act at the genuinely right times and in the right ways, and able to think with depth and clarity about how to act in most or all situations.

I say "most situations" as well as all, because perfection is simply a mind-created idea, not actual reality. Actual reality comes down to so-called imperfection most of the time because the passage of time makes ever new situations to work through and be patient, understanding and tolerant with. So, think, and think realistically, to deal with problems and "what comes up", it all takes patience, understanding and tolerance at any time it is needed, and what is needed is really wanted. Indeed, fear of being willing to do what is needed and wanted (in that order) is the real loss. Real patience is primarily being willing to do what is needed and wanted to genuinely succeed in the right ways with any relationship, situation or reality.


Families, Family Life, Family Love, Family Matters, Family Members, Family Relationships, Family Story

Meet the author

author avatar JoshuaClayton
I am a freelance writer based in Inglewood, California, USA. I used to write under a few aliases, but now I have nothing to hide and write mostly under my own name. I write mostly on self-help topics.

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