Take a walk in my shoes

carly135 By carly135, 25th Mar 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2n-vow-o/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

not a normal life, sadness consumes me, need to decipher between what's reality and what's not

Take a walk in my shoes

From the start things weren't quite right, always wondering if id ever fit in
So much anger is wrapped around my heart
as my tears flows, blood begins to flow leaving me thinking how I could fix things
I see people joking around and laughing, but on my face there is no smile instead there's a frown
I never laugh anymore instead I cry
cause I feel like im dying looking all around me
All I see is destruction and fear
fearing the loss of self-recovery, parts of my mind going unknown
dangerous sides going unshown
I began to suffer through pain, death is not the solution
I feel like its too late to apologize for everything I've done wrong
I feel like its too late to change who I've become back to what I was
I'm giving up, I've shed too many tears and I cant change the past
its there forever
life is such a failure, just thinking back on my life when I was a child so outgoing and happy I was
Those were wonderful years, no worries or fears
what changed?
I have tried over and over and failed to succeed
what used to be "good days" are now filled with dismay
all I wanted was something to live for, I wish I could go back and re-do everything I did wrong
I've fought to become who I am and what I want to be
I have to remind myself one day I will be fuckin ' free
now times have changed and I realize, fuck, nothing is fair
and sometimes it seems like nobody gives a shit
I understand now, that I am pretty much on my own
the past is the past, I try to live in the present nothing more
cause I haven't forgotten that I am, just one person
do you ever stop and think? just reflect on everything that's happened to me in the last few days, months, years
do you wonder where all that time went?
all those special moments or just the ordinary daily activities that are now only memories
cause my life is a nightmare, only I am awake
is life a reality or just a dream?
It all seems like there is nothing we cant see
blinded by a dark spot full of regrets
but all is in the future we cant see yet
I hate it how you abused me in everyway and you felt no shame
I would try to hide the tears and try to hide from pain
the psych ward is by far the most traumatic place
a lot of mistakes that cant be fixed
total dysfunction of my hurt, hard to hide
my entire body leaves me with a vulnerable feeling
troubles go, but in me they grow and grow
feeling tense so hard to breathe, my heart beats faster
my heart is torn open, my love is broken
my life is empty with few words spoken
cause I take risks and chances
so many things going on in my head and so many things were said
its too much pain its driving me insane
I don't want to be here, all this drama going on is so strong
all I hear is violence and im wishing for silence
all this fuckin' bitchin I hear and experience day after day
man, I just want a normal life
why cant I even get that?
getting abused and talked shit about sure as hell is not how I wanna live
I try to stay strong and keep positive but there's things that get in my way causing me to think negative
drowning in my tears, and being blamed for shit I don't do
but I pick up the broken pieces every time they shatter and then go on with my life like there is nothing the matter
I just wished things could go good for once I miss the life I once had
even though I have problems I understand the quality of life
I just wish things were different
I wish I could change me
but somehow I always end up hurt? why me?
it seems impossible to please anyone , sometimes I wonder if id be better off alone
time cant heal pain that wont mead
the suffering, the heartache,
it feels like the end
for nothing can last forever
grudges are held, never letting go
feelings are hurt, but they wont listen
just praying for one day that things will begin to turn around
same old shit, just a different day
living the evil life that was created for me

Tags

Hard, Losing People, My Life, Sadness, Violence

Meet the author

author avatar carly135
I started writting when i was a kid, im now almost 23.Any advice to be better would be bentifical.

Share this page

moderator Steve Kinsman moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know

Comments

author avatar Wright
9th Dec 2014 (#)

Me and my husband have been trying for a baby for over three years now, We were going to a fertility clinic for about 8 months before somebody told us to contact this spell caster who is so powerful, We contacted him at this email arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com I copied the email and I sent him a mail he replied me and I told me all my sorrow is over, but after three years of trying we were at a point where we were willing to try anything. And I'm glad we came to Dr Dahiru, Because his pregnancy spell cast put us at ease, and I honestly believe him, and his gods really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done, he then told me that I should wipe my tears with such comforting words he told me to buy some items that his going to use to cast the pregnancy spell I did and he made the spell for me and told me when next I meet with my husband I we conceive,at first I thought it was a scam but I just followed my inner mind and I sent the money for him to buy all the items after some months I went to check with my doctor and I was 4weeks pregnant, thanks to Dr Dahiru spell temple,I want to use this medium to tell everyone having similar problem. contact him via email: arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com if you are trying to get a baby or want your lover back. he has powers to do it, he has done mine,

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Username
Can't login?
Password