Starting Over, Again!

RitaH By RitaH, 2nd Jun 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Moving Home

Love and lost, rather than to have never loved at all

A New Start

End of Jan 2009 I moved in with my Beloved and his mum. Going through my things and deciding what to keep was hard enough, my whole life was being sieved through to make way for a new future. My Beloved wasn't as keen on it but with the fact I had to move out he just had to accept that we would move in together to ensure our future together.

Leaving my family was hard going. Dad, with his failing health, sisters unsure of their future in the world, myself moving so far away.

Once I got myself moved in, it was sealed. In my separate room, single bed. I should have taken it upon myself to do things differently.

Home Sick - Depression

I became very work driven. I had tried to run 2 online businesses as well as 2 jobs along with starting my little Avon business also. I was also depressed and the main cause?
He just would not talk to me about how we was drifting apart, why I felt more alone and how he seemed more interested in his best friend, which was a girl, than his future wife! He moaned about how I would talk to my councillor about him and not talk to him.... Could you blame me!? It works both ways!

It got to the point where it was making me ill and he finally seen it. And so we ended it. He cried but I could not. I had done key crying for 3 years so when he spoke to me about ending things, I already had grieved for him. It was over for me before he knew it.

I had changed my whole life to be with him and could never settle properly as I knew things was never going to be right between us. But now I had to up root once more!

Moving Home

Once we made it official on 22nd Dec 2011 I went to visit family for Christmas. Father was in hospital for a few months by that time and wasn't improving. We knew that things was drawing to a close. I let family know that I was coming home soon and dad was delighted! To this day I believe that he hung on for so long after I moved home to spend some time with me before he left this world.

After I got back, I packed my bag and stayed with a friend until I could collect some money together to move out. My friends I made locally was very happy to help me out. I just felt like utter dirt. After 7 years being with someone, wanting a life with them forever, having those thoughts planted in my head by him, he ended up not loving me anymore! Wish I had got my own place back with family than moving in with him. He did say that our relationship wouldn't work if I stayed at home and yet it didn't work when I moved in with him anyway.

1 Year On

Since moving home, father passed away soon after my birthday, moved in with sisters, nephews and their dad, carrying on with my Avon business and it is growing stronger every week, got myself a great boss who is decent and fair. I love my life right now!

I have always believed in fate. It happens for a reason. If I didn't meet my ex when I was 18, I wouldn't have met my ex fiancé of 7 years and if we hadn't had split when we did, I wouldn't have been able to spend as much time as I could have with my father before he passed away.

I am who I am because of the past I have. I thank you for being a part of my past, if you are lucky to be in my future, you are more lucky.


Love, Moving Away, Moving Forward, Moving Home, Moving House, Start Again

Meet the author

author avatar RitaH
Fun, loving and ready for friends n life to give me highs and Lows!!

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