So, my child is autistic...

Bex8814 By Bex8814, 18th Mar 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Kids

So, my child is autistic - ''But He Looks Fine'' argh!!

When I knew...

I am a mother of three children, all boys, all under the age of 7 - our home is one full of laughter, chaos and muddy football boots and my middle child has just been diagnosed as autistic.

I gave birth to my middle son - Bobby - when I was 20 years old, my eldest boy was 2 years, 3 weeks old. We had a normal home life, daddy works, mummy stays at home and at the time I didn't work. I first realised something was different with Bobby from the moment I bought him home. As all parents of a second baby I compared, you shouldn't but you show me someone who say's they haven't and I'll show you a fibber - it's human nature.

Bobby hated to be touched, he screamed for hours on end, all day every day - went to bed screaming, woke up screaming - he just would not be comforted. He was a breast fed baby but this created no immediate bond, and I did suffer with post natal depression for some time. Bobby was a difficult baby to say the least.

I noticed as he grew, his development was very delayed - in comparison with my older child. At the age of 18 months he was barely communicating, where as my other son had been speaking fluently at 12 months. His motor skills were slow, he didn't walk well and was still in nappies/diapers at three years of age. He would never meet anyone's eye, and was always facially flat.

As time went on...

Bobby began pre-school when he was 3 years old. This was a tough time. Me and Bobby had developed an extremely close relationship by this point, he was/is my world and I his. I can read his every thought, emotion, fear and worry and though he lacks empathy (due to his condition) he tries so very hard, where I am concerned. And although the emotions he omits do not reach his eyes, his trying makes my heart absolutely swell with pride.

Leaving him at pre-school was awful. He never mixed with other children, and would look so very alone and lost in his little world. His huge green eyes filled with anxiety and wonder. I cried so many tears for my little boy, and fought so many decisions constantly trying to do the right thing by him but feeling like I was failing him.

Bobby did start to come out of his shell, interaction slowly but surely began and relationships with others did blossom. Due to his aspergers many people do not know how to take him - for example, we may think something of a certain person but know absolutely not to say it, Bobs does not have this correction, he says what he sees and how I have not been hit by now I do not know!!

Walking down the street with him one day and a nice, slightly larger lady stands to the side to let us pass..... ''Muuuum, muuuum, muuuum look at this man dressed as a lady'' In his finest and loudest voice!

Up to the age of 5 - where we're at now

My son is 5, he is now the proud big brother of little Tommy (aged 1) who is the apple of Bobbys eye, he has undeniably bought out some amazing qualities to my boy that even I didn't know were there. He can be amazingly kind, thoughtful, generous, caring and considerate - apparently not qualities a person with Aspergers has as a rule.

Bobby loves to laugh, he loves to have fun and this is what I treasure.

We have difficult days, real god awful difficult days where I can't see how we will get through the rest of the day. There's been times I have wondered how on earth will I carry on like this, the stresses and strains of raising 3 children - one with additional needs - running a home and holding down a job are a real test of character and if it wasn't for an amazing mother, great friends and an amazing partner I don't know where I'd be sometimes.

I'd like to end my article with this: Yes, my child has autism - life may be very difficult for us especially as he grows, my concerns are plentiful and my worries never ending but I treasure each special moment with my son (of which there are so many) : when he tells me I am his princess, when he holds my hand, when his huge green eyes peer into mine, when he achieves something academical that seems nothing to other parents of children his age but means the world to us. I value our time, I am eternally grateful I got to learn the real, hardcore meaning of the word 'Love' - and I thank you Bobby x


Autism, Autism In Boys, Autism Spectrum, Autistic, Autistic Children, Autistic Children Behavior, Children

Meet the author

author avatar Bex8814
Mother of 3 - Writing focusing on personal experiences and information I have learnt regarding business, children, animals, immigration, places as well as current media stories from different angles

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author avatar Connie McKinney
19th Mar 2014 (#)

What a great tribute to Bobby. It sounds like Bobby has already come a long way. With a devoted mother like you, I am sure he will turn out fine in the end.

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author avatar Bex8814
20th Mar 2014 (#)

Very touched by your kind words, really means a lot. Thank you

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author avatar brendamarie
20th Oct 2015 (#)

people with autism are going far these days. With your love and support, your son can do anything he puts his mind to. Good- Luck and God Bless!!!

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