Sex and the Single Grandmother

Wiladene Keen By Wiladene Keen, 20th May 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Many folks have a tendency to disregard any type of sexual attractiveness, appeal or appetite when it comes to women who are Grandmothers. Especially our own children! They expect that we are "over the hill" and are finished with that part of our lives. They certainly don't expect us to discuss sex or (and this is a forbidden topic with them) or to desire it. This is my humorous take on what it's like to be grandmother and still be sexy.

Sex Talk...Is it Taboo for Single Grandmothers?

Sex and any Grandmother may raise a few eyebrows and even a few shocked “gasps” from some readers, but it was designed to arouse your curiosity. I do strongly believe that it is a subject that is worth talking about, and one that gets labeled “taboo “because of our ages, and/or our marital status; in this case we are addressing the “Single” grandmother.

Society tends to think that single mature women who have raised their children and in some families their grandchildren too must abandon any kind of physical needs and quench any sexual desires in order to conform to what is expected of us. I say that opinion can come from several different directions, and I’m going to talk about two popular ones. I’m going to speak quite frankly about the mature woman (hence the “Grown Folks”) and her role in the sexual part of a relationship, based on my own experiences.

Although I have never lived a life of total promiscuity, I have had my share of adventures. Some memories used to remain in my mind as unforgettable, while others faded away into oblivion where bad thoughts go. These are the ones that were best forgotten anyway. There were whole blocks of years in my past life where I would dedicate “thinking” and planning time to my escapades. Fact is I did enjoy re-living the events and the men I had shared them with.

I would often relive these events on nights when I was lonely, feel sorry for myself, and without a man to spend my time with. Sadly, this was almost the norm for me. I’d pour me a tumbler of my favorite Scotch and put on some music. The music I favored during these pity fests always told a story about breakups, loneliness, heartache, and pain. The yearning that I heard in the voices of the singers I listened to echoed the same yearning I felt inside as I sat there for hours; sometimes by candlelight and other times in the dark.

You see, I’m referring to a time in my life that spanned a total of nine years; from ages forty eight-fifty five. That is a long time to be wandering around in a dry and desolate desert of a life. And it is way too long to have spent so much of my valuable time wishing and hoping and dreaming and scheming to try and make things happen that weren’t supposed to happen in the first place.

To Wait; or Not to Wait?

I’d like to think that I would have benefited greatly from knowing this during these years, but something tells me that it wouldn’t have had much impact on me then. I was determined to do it my way and to have it my way. I thought (oh so very mistakenly) that love would grow and blossom in the bedroom, and the real secret to a man’s heart was in my sexual prowess.

And I’d like to leave that statement to your imagination. Allow your mind and your senses to free-fall. You are with the man you desire and probably fancy yourself in love with, and you are together in a passionate embrace that spins out of control and leads to the bedroom. Here you abandon yourself to him completely and without guile. You can’t get close enough to him; can’t hold him tight enough. You are all over him and want to drink in his very essence and the only thing on your mind is his pleasure. The only thing you see behind your closed eyes is a soft, purple haze and you feel your senses suspended in time where there is no beginning and no ending.

Well here I am at the present time at age fifty eight. And I still believe that I have those same emotional feelings and the very same sensuality within me; after all I am still very much a woman. Here’s where I am different though. Even though all of those powerful feelings are dormant right now, I know that mutual physical attraction coupled with strong sexual know how is not the recipe for a successful and lasting basis for love. It is however, perfect for a purely physical relationship. But, how truly rewarding is that? How long can two people sustain themselves in something that has no real basis?
In its right place it can be a deliciously tempting and satisfying main course if put together in the right kitchen.

That kitchen (only a metaphor) is the committed bond two people share with each other, monogamously and with integrity. We all want something real in our lives; that is "solid" as a rock. It gets real hard to hold out for the absolute best when we are faced with long and lonely nights, and often days too that stretch ahead of us seemingly without end. Oh, and let's don't forget about being around other couples! Geez! How uncomfortable can that get, right? You all have heard the old saying "the loneliest place in the world is in a crowd"?

And here is the caveat to my story; that kitchen that we want for ourselves should be built according to the Master plan. No Do-It-Yourself construction allowed. If you want your kitchen and all the others rooms in your house of love built to last and to withstand strong winds and storms, then this is the only way to go. Taking the time to review your designs, and purchase only first rate materials and with the Master Builder as your top man you can’t lose. And great sex will be the crowning glory of your union. Don’t worry; it’ll definitely be worth the wait.

We don’t have to conform to the pressure of society. As grown folk we naturally know what we are doing anyway. We have wisdom, insight and years of practice at our disposal. Let’s use them to our best advantage. There is no longer the need to “prove ourselves” to any man. Let’s promote ourselves as women of greatness and hold out for nothing but the very best and for what can be rightfully ours.


Grandmother, Healthy Body, Healthy Lifestyle, Sexual Activity, Sexual Attraction, Sexual Behavior, Sexual Life

Meet the author

author avatar Wiladene Keen
I am an avid blogger and compulsive writer who loves to allow her mind to roam free and be creative. Follow me on Twitter @queencitydame

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author avatar ammu1115
21st May 2013 (#)

your are "writer who loves to allow her mind to roam free and be creative" belive me

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