Roses Are Better When They Can Be Appreciated

Rick Workman By Rick Workman, 13th Sep 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Friends

Too many times the people who inhabit our lives are never given the kudos they deserve while they are still with us in this life. We should be more appreciative of the time we have with these people, and let them know how much we value their friendship.

Give Roses To The Living

When I was a kid I had two best friends. Living in a rural area of West Tennessee in the late 60's, entertainment options were limited for the pre-adolescent set. There were no "play dates", early childhood enrichment activities, nor organized sports and recreation activities. We had each other and "outside". As we didn't know anything different, each other and outside were all we needed.
It was commonplace in our lives, especially in the summer, to be banished to "outside" for the entire day, with the exception of meals and the occasional bathroom break that required sitting to accomplish. We were sent out right after breakfast, called in for lunch, sent back out again and not to be heard from until dinnertime. The call for the evening meal also signaled the end of the play day. Rob, Greg and I would depart from each other with the salutation of "See ya' tomorrow". In our world and minds, it was a given there would be a tomorrow.
I didn't find out until several years later that tomorrows were not always a given.
At fifteen, I lost my paternal grandfather suddenly. No warning. No time to say goodbye. No final chance to say, "I love you". No opportunity to ask him to teach me the remainder of the things a grandpa should teach me. I was angry, and feeling guilty. I hated the fact that he had gone to Heaven without me telling him how much he had meant to me. This was the first time I remember wishing for a "do over".
In 1991, I lost Rob to an accident occurring after his return from the first Gulf War. We had been "best friends" since we were three years old. I had talked to him on the phone about a week prior to his untimely death, at which time he had mentioned he would be coming home from Virginia within the next couple of weeks. We ended the call with, "I'll see ya' when you get home". Again, no chance to say goodbye, or to say how much I valued our friendship over the years. Just a numb feeling standing over the coffin that held his lifeless body.
It was at this point that I decided I would be casting flowers to those I cared about while I still had the opportunity. I would give those I cherished their roses while they were living. I have lost more people along the way, but I don't have to deal with the emptiness of guilt that I didn't say what I wanted them to hear.
There have been other advantages of dropping roses to the living. It enhances your relationships, whether they be personal or professional. It brings a smile to their faces. It gives you a good feeling. And, I am not left to wonder if they knew how much I cared.
In the final passage of "Candide" by Voltare, the title character asks his mentor, Professor Pangloss if he is ready, once again, to go out and try to conquer the world, to which Pangloss replies, "...I think I will stay here and tend my own garden". Part of tending ones own garden is to carefully water and nourish your plants so that they are lush and ready when you desire to give them away. And, be generous with your roses, and not quite as selective as to who you give them to. Be thankful that people choose to be in your presence, if only once or for a lifetime. If they made your life better, give them a rose!


Appreciation, Friends, Friends Forever, Friendship, Friendships, Happiness, Happy Memories, Last Goodbyes, No More Tommorrows, Saying Goodbye, Tomorrow

Meet the author

author avatar Rick Workman
I am a middle-aged man still searching for what makes life complete. My areas of interest are music, health, emergency medicine, and elderly issues.

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
13th Sep 2013 (#)

Good advice, and a reminder to treasure the people that matter in our lives while we still have them and not to take them for granted.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
14th Sep 2013 (#)

Timeless advice and universal application. Thanks Rick. Nowadays people look into the small screen than at others in person. We are becoming more selfish and lead to artificiality - we are sowing seeds of disaster - siva

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author avatar Denise Salmon
15th Sep 2013 (#)

Great advice we really need to show our appreciation for people when they are alive

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