Relationship Guide for Women

rapuncille By rapuncille, 27th May 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/15qlcjh0/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

I have once read this list of “tips for girls with regards to relationship” long time ago, in one of my friend’s bulletin at Friendster. Out of boredom, I have jotted down my thoughts regarding them and came up with this that I might as well share to you.

My Thoughts On It

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If a man doesn’t want you nothing could make him stay.

There’s a saying in Tagalog “Kung gusto maraming paraan, pero pag ayaw maraming dahilan”. (If there’s a will, you’ll find a way; If you do not will you’ll always find a reason to get away.) So girls, be discerning of the excuses your man are using. At times those are just mere indication of how much he would like to be out of your relationship.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Some girls are too much blinded by the love they are feeling for their man that no matter how “asshole” their guy had been, they always would try to come up with their own excuses and reasons which will make their man’s actions logical, rational and acceptable.

3. If you have any trouble in your mind with regards to his character, leave him alone.

Let us be reminded that it is character alone which differentiates the REAL man from those who are just pretending to be man.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartaches.

Most girls are gifted with accurate hunches so we better make use of this gift.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that isn’t meant to be.

It might not be so worth it. Don’t run the risk of being empty handed in the end. Avoid trying to change yourself and losing your own person in your attempt to salvage a “meant-to-be-dysfunctional relationship”.

6. Don’t force an attraction.

What you may get is only frustration.

7. Slower is better.

Remember that haste usually makes waste.

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what truly makes you happy.

If you do, you might end up being UNHAPPY for the rest of your pathetic life. :p

9. If a relationship ended because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

The probability of this being true is relatively high.

10. Have faith in god regarding your relationship, but don’t let faith make you look stupid. God does things decent and in order.

God does not always answer our prayers in the way we want it to be answered. Hopefully, most of us chooses to get the signals right.

11. Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.

12. If he keeps on changing his mind about the relationship— take that as a big sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?

Would you like settle for a life of instability and lack of security?

13. Don’t stay because you think that “it will get better”. <What if it goes the otherwise?> you’ll be mad at yourself a year later <For some it takes really longer.>for staying when things are not better.

The wasted time could have been spent looking for the right person with whom you can have a relationship that can work.

14. Honorable men take care of business and aren’t involved in a whole lot of mess.

Too bad some are happy enough to be labeled as “men” and does not aspire anymore to be tagged as “honorable” that’s why they are oh so into messing up their own and other people’s lives.

15. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Your 100% effort to make the relationship work only comprises 50% of what the relationship could be. Meaning, there is only so much that you can do to make a relationship work. The other half of it would depend on your partner.

16. There’s only one “reason” a man dumps you; he doesn’t want you.

Harsh?!?! Yes… but you have to live with that.

17. Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Perhaps you would answer. “‘Coz he told me that I am different and that I am the only person who changed him blah, blah, blah…”. But come to think of it, isn’t it possible that he did give the same promises to those other women whom he got pregnant?

18. You really do have to find a number of frogs before you find your prince.

According to Marjorie Rawlings, “A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one”. What’s important is that you be patient in waiting for the right time that you’d be able to find your prince and that for every encounter you will have with those smelly frogs, you’ll be able to learn something so that your chances of getting another frog the next time would be slimmer. The time spent waiting seems to be worth the while and the aches brought about the frogs in your life will all be erased as soon as your prince come your way.

19. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Do not lose and forget your friends when you get into the relationship because when things work out that well, it is only them who could break your fall and would serve as your supple cushion.

20. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Let him know what you are thinking and early as possible let your voice be heard in the relationship. Be truthful about how and what you feel so that your guy may also be guided on how to better treat you.

21. Never let a man know everything. He may use it against you later.

Assure yourself that whatever it is the may happen in your relationship, something will be left for you.

22. You cannot change a man’s behavior; change comes from within.

Give up playing “messiah” and give up the hope that one day you’ll be able to change those things that you don’t like about your man. If he will not will it, then it will never happen. You can only encourage him to change for the better but the decision is still his. Therefore, if you think that you can’t completely accept and stand by your man without him changing those characteristics you don’t like; then, don’t get into the relationship with him.

23. Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or has a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god, he is a man, nothing more nothing less.

The more you make your man into a quasi-god, the more you increase the probability of him treating you as quasi-doormat.

24. Never let a man define who you are.

You are you when you got into the relationship so don’t ever loose that person whom your guy fell in love with in the first place. You should allow yourself to improve and be better but don’t do it for the sake of you “just” pleasing your guy. Don’t allow your man to “overhaul” you into the person you don’t know and you don’t like.

25. And NEVER borrow someone else’s man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he will cheat on you!

Borrowed is definitely different from what is yours. One day, whatever it is that you borrowed shall be returned back and the deed of you having taken away from others without consent shall be paid by you in whatever form it is.

26. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

So it is really up to you to draw the line, define your borders, and tell him what is “enough”, what is “good” and what you think “ain’t right” and “bad”.

27. All men are NOT dogs.

Unfortunately, SOME are. Be cautious and be on guard.

28. You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is a two-way street.

As they say, “It takes two to tango”. Working on the relationship requires the both of you.

29. You need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute about baggage…deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

Don’t enter into a relationship broken. This most of the time won’t work and won’t get you fixed. It might just worsen the damage and even get your new partner wounded eventually. There will now be the two of you who will need some fixing.

30. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you, a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complimentary…not supplementary.

The Missing piece meets Big O” is a suggested read.

31. Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

It won’t guarantee you but increases the probability of finding Mr. Right. Just enjoy it and be responsible and careful during the process.

32. Make him miss you sometimes…when a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him – he takes it for granted.

There’s some truth in the saying that “absence makes the heart go fonder”.

33. Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Keep your options open unless you are already sure of your choice. Don’t settle and commit with a “Meantime guy”. Don’t be lured just because for what is available and convenient. Commit to that somebody who has the probability of lasting with you a lifetime.

Tags

Guide, Love, Men, Relationship, Suggestions, Tips, Women

Meet the author

author avatar rapuncille

am a full-time mom to two gorgeous boys. I spend most of my spare time in between my mommy and wifey jobs doing online stuff which includes writing.

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Comments

author avatar Jlyn11
1st Jun 2011 (#)

Nice one, enjoyed reading it. So if I don't come across any frogs, that means I can't meet my prince? :P

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author avatar rapuncille
1st Jun 2011 (#)

Not really.That only means you are really lucky! :p

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