Please stop telling me I'm going to miss this.....

Janie By Janie, 20th Aug 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Toddlers

What do you do with unwanted advice, a child that is draining you of all energy and the feeling that you won't remember the sweet moments of childhood?

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There are certain things that everyone knows you don't say to a mom. Topping the list would be, "When are you due?" Also in a close second are phrases such as "When did you go so grey?" and "when are you going back to work?" and "you look so tired" and "I remember that stage, he will grow out of it." Seriously, you're tensing up as you read that, aren't you?

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I've had one of those kind of days with my toddler that I kind of hope fades from my memory as both of us get older. And before you give me unwanted parenting advice--I do love him and he is my third child. What I've seen today is not my first rodeo. He is a handful sometimes and I kind of feel like pulling each of my hairs out one at a time would be less painful. It's the whining, the please just eat this bite, "No, sit down", repeating myself, a tantrum in the park, cutting a play date short to go home and re-establish that I am the boss. Pooping in his pants.....again, trying to problem solve a situation with constant chatter in my other ear, pleading to eat his food again, negotiating that shorts were better for bed than winter pj's, trying to balance being a fun mom while being consistent in behavior, discipline for more whining, dumping sand out of boots just inside the door, spilling water on my pants, bonking my head while jumping, repeating myself again, and on and on.....And would you believe that along with the whining when he wants to he can turn the cute on? Total proof that attitude is a choice.

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I've parented two other children through this "phase" and yes it was better on the other side. I do have that in my mind that this won't last forever. He is so formidable now and cute and loves to cuddle with me and I wouldn't for a second change anything about him....(well...maybe he could stop embarrassing me in public..) But, he is perfect the way he is.

So, what's my issue? I've had a number of people older than me tell me in the past "oh, you are going to miss this when you get older." Um, excuse me? Do you have complete thoughts? Are your clothes still clean halfway through the day? Is your mind free of hearing voices? Granted, maybe they were mothers and they want me to know that they survived and therefore I will survive. Great, encourage me with that. Remind me that feeling of pure joy when the discipline issue that I've been working on finally breaks through and I have a sweet child who listens to authority. I've been there, I know how wonderful that is. Can I just be free from having to remember the whining part and missing it? Even my own mother remembers us as sweet angels apart from a few stories she has from our teen years. And I know we gave her trouble. Either she blocked them from her memory or chose to remember only the good things.


So, if you are one of those people who want to be sensitive to others, please add this phrase "oh, you're going to miss this" from your vocabulary. It is not okay to tell a mother her child is cute when he/she is throwing a tantrum. You might think they are cute, but a mother will not agree with you in that moment. Especially in public. And please, remind her that discipline and teaching children to respect authority from a loving parent who wants the best for them will bring so much joy, that they won't want to ever forget it. That training a child to be an upright citizen and learn to love Jesus is worth fighting for a praying for each and every day and give her a pat on the back and say "You are doing a great job."

Okay. Enough said. I'm off my soap box and off to relax now that I have that munchkin in bed for the night. Ah, a mother's reprieve!


Babies, Babies Crying, Embarrassing Questions, Help, Motherhood, Tempers, Toddlers

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author avatar Janie
A mother of three with a passion to discover beauty in the small successes of life.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
21st Aug 2013 (#)

Mother's love shines through this humorous take - it is not easy but leaves mostly sweet memories - siva

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