Painting the Right Picture - Guide for Couples

Janet Ford By Janet Ford, 6th Dec 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

When things are rough and you need to vent or you just need some sound advice, you go to your family and closest friends, right? Careful. A bit of artistry is required here.

Get Out Your Canvas

At one point or another, you will want to talk to someone who at least attempts understand your troubles with your mate. Even better if they can offer some sound advice. That's great and I'm sure they are behind you 100%, after all, they love you. This is the one fact to keep in mind, they love you. That sounds safe, doesn't it? Well, if you aren't careful how you 'paint' your picture of your mate, it may not be safe at all for your significant other. Like I already said, they love YOU. In some relationships, family and friends may be just getting to know your partner. For the most part, intentional or not, they are doing so through your eyes. Understanding this means you are ready to get out your canvas.

Decide What to and Not to Paint

There are things better left unsaid. Let me re-phrase that. There are WAYS in which you should never say things, keeping your canvas in mind. It is not going to make for a very nice picture of your mate later on if you go to others seeking advice or to vent after you have used ugly words, bitter accusations or playing a blame game. Instead, share facts and share how those facts are making you feel. Never make assumptions about your mate. Leave yourself open to understanding, love and advice. That's what you're after anyhow, right?

Pick Up Fresh Colors

The hardest part of painting your significant other in the right light may very well be sharing positives, as odd as that sounds. Beyond the beginning passion and romance phase of a relationship, it's just not natural anymore. It will certainly become natural, expected even, if you practice! Make the effort to share the positives of your partner, especially with those you are most likely to run to when things get bumpy, and they will. It's not fair to set yourself up as the martyr and your partner as the villan.

The Advantages

Once you have practiced this form of communication with your loved ones, you will in no doubt help both your partner feel more connected to your family and friends but your family and friends become more connected with him/her. Once this happens, your relationship is bound to benefit from the positive energy that surrounds it. The mere act of searching for the positives to also share about your partner can skyrocket you to new levels.

It's not about what's there, it's about what you see.
Paint the right picture, for your loved ones... and for YOU!

Tags

Communicate, Communication, Couple Therapy, Couples, Family, In-Laws, Living Together, Love, Love Life, Marital Advice, Marriage, Marriage Advice, New

Meet the author

author avatar Janet Ford
Janet Ford is a published author and prolific freelance writer who also enjoys taking on editing projects. Nestled in the woods of Michigan, she also raises, trains and shows redbone coonhounds and cares for her small group of rescue horses.

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Comments

author avatar R. Person
6th Dec 2010 (#)

Interesting idea, but I'm not good at painting

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author avatar Denise O
6th Dec 2010 (#)

What a lovely message. Good darn job!
I love the painting analogy.
I have seen this happen one too many times and it also ruin the relationship. So sad.
I get on my families last nerve because, I always try and see both sides of everything, no matter whom you may be.
That includes me also.
Love the article.
Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
6th Dec 2010 (#)

As an artist, I loved the analogy, good writing, keep it up!

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author avatar ppruel
8th Dec 2010 (#)

The photos and text tell about the significant of this article.

Interesting one! I love reading it, friend.

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author avatar D in The Darling
8th Dec 2010 (#)

Nice work! The truth is; we make or break our own relationships. The image we portray outside determines the kind of treatment we get! So, paint a good picture! Nice stuff! Thanks for sharing!

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author avatar Maria Papadopoulou
9th Dec 2010 (#)

Lovely article.

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author avatar Momtrying2makeit
9th Dec 2010 (#)

Very well shared way of looking at a healthy relationship.

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author avatar Retired
16th Jan 2011 (#)

Good article ,thanks

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