Our Children Grow Up

DaddyEvilStarred Page By DaddyEvil, 24th Mar 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/-owljqns/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

As a parent, it is HARD to let our children grow up. It is a time of confusion and misunderstandings. On OUR part as well as theirs!

As a young adult, it is difficult to explain your actions to your parents!

How The Fledgling Sees Things

When a young adult sees the difficulties their parents may have, at times, paying for something that hasn't been budgeted for, it is natural for the young adult to want to help, especially if the young adult has been working and earning their own money.

Unfortunately, in some cases, the parents may see this gesture as the child boasting that s/he can pay for something when the parents are having difficulty fitting it into their budget, whether that thought had even crossed the fledgling adult's thoughts or not!

The Parent's View Of Things

The young adult needs to understand parental thinking on this subject. It is just so easy for the parents to misunderstand why their child wants to do things on their own, including paying for things after the young adult has begun to earn their own money.

Let me see if I can explain in a way that makes sense...

While our children are still in school and are living at home, it is the parent's job to pay their expenses... (I had/still have a terrible time letting Pretty pay for things, even though she earns her own money and is 26 years old. She is my child and lives at home... She gets mad because I try to pay for things she wants and is capable of paying for on her own!)

Even understanding as well as I do, my daughter and I still clash sometimes over who is paying for what! (I have had YEARS to get used to my child being independent and I still try to push my way where I don't belong!)

Reconciling The Differences

I understand it is difficult for the child to talk to his/her parents about something your parents have done to upset you, but the child really needs to tell his/her parents the reasoning behind the activity....

The young adult needs to sit the parents down and talk to them about what is happening. It won't make it easier for them to accept the next time their child pays for something they think they should pay for, but it will help them understand, so it doesn't appear that their child is boasting about financial ability to them!

I know this is difficult, but it is part of growing up. Your parents still see you as their child, not as the almost grown person you really are... it is hard for parents to accept the fact that their child is capable of taking care of him/herself... but they will, you just have to help them see the difference!

The parents of a fledgling adult have to understand that this is a natural part of growing up. Preparing to leave the nest is never easy for the young adult, or the parents. It will happen, so it must be allowed to happen as naturally and easily as can be managed.

If you liked this article, you may also enjoy this one:
A Single Father Raising His Daughter
http://nut.bz/3y-7r006/

Tags

Adult Children, Adulthood, Adults, Change, Child, Children, Empty Nest, Fledgling, Growing Up, Leaving Home, Leaving The Parents, Young Adult, Young Adults, Young Lady, Young Love, Young Man, Young Men, Young People, Young Woman

Meet the author

author avatar DaddyEvil
I am a single father.
I am the next to the youngest out of a family of 16 kids.
I write stories about funny things I see or do as well as telling stories from my past. I also write serious articles

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Comments

author avatar Funom Makama
24th Mar 2014 (#)

Wow! So true! Thanks for the excellent share, daddy evil.

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author avatar DaddyEvil
24th Mar 2014 (#)

Thank you, Funom, for reading it!
This is part of an answer I gave a friend of mine whose parents are having problems with her growing up.
I really hope it helps them!

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author avatar cnwriter..carolina
24th Mar 2014 (#)

yes this is indeed an excellent post...thank you....

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author avatar DaddyEvil
24th Mar 2014 (#)

Thank you, Carolina! I really appreciate that!

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author avatar WOGIAM
27th Mar 2014 (#)

I am looking forward to my kids growing up and independent. I have a feeling, I will not mind them paying for treats and such.
#allgrownup

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