Nurturing Self Esteem in Children

maftab92 By maftab92, 2nd Jul 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Parenting

Self esteem is usually defined as the way you look at yourself-“how much you like yourself” and “how much you value yourself”. But self esteem is much more than that. Today’s theories of self esteem look at it as the integrated sum of “Self Efficacy” and “Self Respect”.

Self Efficacy, Self Respect, Physical Safety, Emotional Security, Sense of Identity, Sense of Competence, Sense of Belonging, Sense of Mission

Self efficacy means confidence in your ability to think and in the process, by which you judge, choose and decide. It is to know and understand your interests and needs. It incorporates self trust and self reliance. The experience of self efficacy generates the sense of over your life, the sense of being at the vital center of your existence as compared to a passive separator and a victim of events.

Self respect means assurance of your values. It is an affirmative attitude toward the right to live and be happy, toward freedom to assert your thoughts, wants, needs and joys. The experience of self respect allows for mutual regard of others and makes possible a non-neurotic sense of fellowship with them.

Self efficacy and self respect are the dual pillars of healthy self esteem. If either one is absent, self esteem is impaired. Children with impaired self esteem will develop delinquent behavior, social skill deficit, behavioral problems, substance abuse and serious mental health problems.

If you posses healthy self esteem, you will have a realistic awareness of yourself, your needs and abilities. You will not damage your talent and aptitude through procrastination, substance abuse or other means. You will take care of your well being: you will protect your inner spiritual essence-your core. You will bring dignity and substance to your relationships and your work contribution will reveal the value of services to others.

Six Ingredients of Self Esteem

1. Physical Safety: Make your child realize that he or she is physically safe. Protect your child from any kind of physical abuse. A child who is not fearful of being harmed or hurt will be full of confidence; will learn to be open and to trust others.

2. Emotional Security: A child will develop a high level of emotional security when he knows that he would not be put down. He will learn to be caring and compassionate with self and others and he will become trustworthy. He will become respectful, helpful, considerate, friendly and outgoing.

3. Sense of Identity: A child with self identity and self awareness will know himself, his strengths and limitations. He will have a firm belief of his worth as a human being and as a result he will take his responsibility of his actions.

4. Sense of Competence: When a child knows that he is good at something, he will be willing to learn other things. Because he feels capable, he is willing to preserve rather than giving up when things become difficult.

5. Sense of Belonging: A child who feels accepted by others will feel liked, appreciated and respected. He learns to seek out and maintain friendships. He is able to cooperate and share. While maintaining a sense of independence, he learns interdependence—a healthy perception of interrelatedness.

6. Sense of Mission: A child with a strong sense of mission knows that life has meanings and purpose. He will have a sense of direction and he will not be able to set goals but will follow through achieving his goals. When encountered with obstacles, he will create alternatives. He will have inner knowledge; inner wisdom, inner peace and he will be joyful.


Children, Parenting, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem, Self-Worth

Meet the author

author avatar maftab92
I am a clinical psychologist from Pakistan. I am running my own clinic to help people overcome psychological problems.

Share this page

moderator Sam Wormleighton moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know


author avatar smoothoperator
22nd Jul 2010 (#)

Great article. Needs to be read by one and all. You need not be a parent to read.

Reply to this comment

author avatar maftab92
22nd Jul 2010 (#)

Thank you for your feedback.

Reply to this comment

author avatar Abdul Aziz
4th Jul 2012 (#)

nice and purposeful

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Can't login?