My views on adoption

vandana7 By vandana7, 10th May 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Adoption

People must only adopt those children who have neither parents or those whose parents have destroyed their lives.

The otherside of adoption

There is no denying that adoption is a noble act in the eyes of everybody concerned. But it can often be a momentary decision. When that happens, people may want to be rid of the kid, just like they want to be rid of their pets. They may also become indifferent to cruel when it comes to the adopted child. This is a greater possibility if a child is conceived subsequently. Not everybody has in them the ability to love another person's child, notwithstanding the mantra of child is beautiful and desirable drilled into us from a very young age. If that were indeed true, then we would not have so many orphans waiting in orphanages.

Whom to adopt

Quite often, it is the relatives or friends who are keen to unload their responsibility or burden if you will on the person who has for some reason not had children of their own, but has enough means. This is of course money minded people trying to use undue influence on the person or couple. They would try to scare the wits out of such people saying you need somebody to take care of you and a relative would do a better job because he or she has natural love and affections for you. That is when people need to stop and review the intentions of such folks. It is, after all, not guaranteed that the son or daughter will look after their parents. Chances that an orphan would be grateful are considerably higher, even if the lineage of the child are not known. Each year, there are ample children becoming orphans due to calamities and wars. If not given a loving home, these people may either become unsocial elements, or eventually end up in a terrorist gang. So though the idea of the adopting a relative may seem attractive at the outset, it is possibly not what god expects of us.

Who should adopt

There is a notion that only those who don't have children should be looking at adoption. They are often hounded into adopting and indifference towards the child reigns in their hearts. That is not the way for society to go about it. Such people should be physically, emotionally, and financially ready for the responsibility. Looking down on them for not adopting is rather unfair on the child that would be adopted because they might resent the child.

To be a mother or father a child needs a lot of mental preparation. Those who are not prepared for it, may be better off avoiding it altogether. People should remember that nobody takes the monies to heaven or hell. So eventually, that money is going to get distributed. They should not be focusing on what such people are likely or not likely to do with those monies. That seems to be a major pastime in some societies and such people are ridiculed. People with other health problems do not face as much humiliation and ridicule as those who for some reason are unmarried, or unable to conceive. Excuse me, we live in overpopulated world!!! Such people should be respected and thought well off since their children are not contributing to inflation instead of being termed miserly for not parting with some monies for friends and relatives.

Net net...adopt only if mentally prepared not because others are saying and adopt a person more likely to be caring.

It is the question of inheritance

Laws are such that they define who would inherit if the person dies intestate and has no kids. This makes relatives of people who do not have kids resent adoptions. If the child is not from family it has more enemies to tackle. Ever think of that?

You could adopt a gran you know

Yeah. It is not only the children who are left helpless when calamities strike. Even elderly people may lose entire families, and cannot restart their lives at that stage. They have with them a whole lot of wisdom, which can help those who have never had much guidance from own folks. If there is love in heart, there is support from the old to young.

Even the families with children need to rethink

In countries like India, there should be a policy prompting people to have one child and adopt the second one. It would help to reduce unscrupulous exploitation of youngsters in some of the orphanages and institutions, and simultaneously prevent them from becoming criminals who could possibly hurt own children. Ever think of it like that? It also means that own children would have better future if things go wrong at this end, right? People need to think holistically at least now with world being so much in turmoil as it is.


Adoption, Child, Money Minded, Mother, Relatives, Undue Influence

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author avatar vandana7
Hi...I suddenly remember ABBA ..I am nothing special...hope you like what I write, and I like what you write.

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author avatar Retired
10th May 2014 (#)

I do believe that those who adopt should be ready for the whole process including the financial, emotional and physical needs of adopting a child.

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author avatar alamaymay
13th May 2014 (#)

Adopting a child should not only be base solely on the finances of the adopting parent. They should also evaluate them psychologically and emotionally if they can take of the child

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author avatar vandana7
13th May 2014 (#)

alamaymay...I agree with you completely. If money is the only criterion, then more than half of Indian population would not qualify even to have natural child, leave alone adopt. Love and support matters to the child early on. Lack of it can make the child's life miserable. Leaving the child in the hands of nannies and would you know who is not physically abusing the baby?

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