My Wild and Crazy Experiences with Internet Dating and Why I’m Glad I’m Done

waterhorse By waterhorse, 3rd Nov 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Summary of my internet dating experiences. From plain strange to phonies and frauds.

The world of internet dating

I entered the crazy world of internet dating two separate times in my life. In between these two periods of madness I got married. Yes, I met him on a dating site. It was the biggest mistake of my life. More of that later.

My most memorable disaster internet dates:

Dragomir

I started instant messaging a guy from Romania. Dragomir wrote me romantic poems. He said he wanted to know everything about me including what type of childhood I had.

We finally met. He was a couple of inches shorter than me. He immediately explained that he is considered tall in his country. Not that I cared that much about the height. When he asked me where I wanted to go, I told him about a craft fair at Bear Mountain not far from where I lived.

On the way to the fair I sat with a huge boom box type radio on my lap. He said the car, which he had borrowed from his brother, had no working radio.
When we got to the fair he seemed interested in many of the crafts, especially the hand blown glass which was something he dabbled in. Then we saw a clown performing tricks.
“I don’t like clowns. Every time I see one I feel like punching him in the nose!” Dragomir said in his Romanian accent. He passed by the clown giving him a dirty look.
“Look, what are those walking things?” He pointed to some hand crafted cat marionettes. Several people at the fair were making them walk. “My mother would love one of those.” Dragomir bought a walking cat and asked me if my children would like one too.”
“My daughter would love one”.
“Good. I will buy her one and one for your son.”
“You are very generous Dragomir.”
Dragomir was very generous although he did seem to complain a lot. We passed a carousel which he thought was too dreary looking. He complained about the food too. The pretzels were too salty and the soda was too sweet. He also compared my country to his, always making his sound superior.
"It must be a really nice country" I said. But no matter how positive I was, the more negative Dragomir was.

When we left the fair, Dragomir drove me back to my car.
"I had a good time Dragomir. Did you?"
“I will talk to you tonight” Dragomir said. We never contacted each other again.

George

Another time, I met a cinematographer who was quite well known. After our initial meeting over drinks, he invited me to his lake house upstate. He said he would take me out on the lake in his boat and we would enjoy the entire day swimming and boating. It sounded like fun so I met him at his lake house.

We went around the entire length of the lake. I swam and he drank while he was driving the boat. He pointed out all the different houses on the lake, all of which were owned by wealthy people. After we landed he asked me if I wanted a drink. I had a vodka and lemonade. After a few more drinks it was time for me to go but I was in no condition to. George said I could stay the night. I declined saying I only wished to take a short nap. The next morning I woke up on the sofa. George was sleeping in the next room. I tried to wake him but couldn’t. He was out cold. I left a note and drove home.

My next date with George went pretty much the same way except that I arrived early, about 2:00. We went out on the boat again. Some time around 6, I asked George if he was ready to have dinner. “No, I’m not really hungry” he said. “Are you?”
“As a matter of fact, I’m starved”. George went and got a box of crackers and some hummus. “Have some of these” he said. Can I pour you another drink?” I soon realized that George was an alcoholic. He had no real need for food, although he always had a drink in his hand.

I ended it by telling George that if he couldn’t buy me or make me dinner, this wasn’t going to work.

Erin

I saw a profile of a very tall man who lived near me and was my age on one of the dating sites I was on. His name was Erin. Now where I’m from, Erin is a girl’s name. Anyway, Erin and I hit it off, on line that is. We instant messaged each other every night for two or three hours for about two months. We spoke on the phone twice. I finally asked him if we were going to meet.

“Of course” he said. “Not yet though because I’m really busy. Soon though.”
After another two months I asked him again if we were going to ever meet.

“Sure. When would you like to meet?”
“How about right now?”
“Now? Without planning in advance?”
“Why do we have to?” I asked. “ I feel like I already know you. I’m sure you feel the same. After all we’ve been chatting for four months every night for 2-3 hours a night. We’ve talked on the phone a few times. Why not meet right now?”
Erin was silent for a couple of minutes. He finally said, “Well, if I’m going to meet you I have to take a shower first.”
“O.k. Let’s make it an hour from now. We’ll meet at Starbucks over by you.”
“O.k. See you then. I can’t wait to finally meet you.”
“Me too. It’s about time!”
I showed up at Starbucks and met Erin. He stood up and stiffly shook my hand.
“Well, we’re finally meeting each other!” I said enthusiastically. Erin nodded. He didn’t say anything. I did all the talking.
Not only was it a one sided conversation but Erin couldn’t seem to make a decision. He wanted me to make one for him, like deciding the type of coffee he wanted for instance.

When this painful date finally came to an end, I asked Erin if he thought we should see each other again. He hesitated. “I don’t know. What do you think?”
“I think we did better chatting online”.
“O.k. Let's continue doing that!” Erin said.
“Only I didn’t sign up on the site just to chat. I actually wanted to date someone” I said.
“Oh. O.k.” Erin looked disappointed.

I guess some people aren’t really looking for actual dating.

Anthony

As a matter of fact, many of the men I met were really only looking for sex. They said they wanted a relationship but it didn’t take long for me to read between the lines.
I’m not going to tell you that these dating sites are necessarily a waste of time. These are just my experiences. We’ve all met people or have heard of people who met online and got married and are very happy. It just didn’t happen to me.

I did meet someone in between my two stints on the dating sites. I actually did marry him. Like I said in the beginning, it was the biggest mistake of my life. Anthony seemed like the nicest guy in the world. Charming, outgoing, generous, (or so it seemed). After a year a marriage, a different person emerged. To make a long story short, I found out that he had planned to marry me, take my house away and divorce me. His young daughter, who was eleven when we got married, told me the real story. Anthony told her about his evil plans after we got engaged. He told her not to tell anyone.

After finding out about the real Anthony and kicking him out, I discovered he had stolen money and some valuable jewelry from me. I got some of it back but not all of it.

I can put that experience behind me. I am now happily engaged and no, I didn’t meet my fiancé online. Internet dating may be o.k. for some people but it obviously was not my cup of tea.

Tags

Dating, Dating Online, Dating Sites, Internet, Single Women, Singles Advice

Meet the author

author avatar waterhorse
I am a middle aged woman recently engaged with a BA in Human Services. My passion is writing. I have a Storytelling Group on Facebook with 48 members. I write about philosophy and psychology mostly.

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Comments

author avatar kaylar
4th Nov 2013 (#)

I wrote an article about Online dating years ago..(posted here).
Unlike you I did it not really to date or meet anyone but to see what it was like.

I met a lot of whack jobs. Stalkers. people who wanted an all expense paid vacation in my house.

I didn't meet any of them in person.

What I found so amazing about the sites is that you can give them pages of your bio and your desires and they do no matching whatsoever.

It isn't that you write that you're 42 years old insane about Man U and they match you with a 50 year old Man U fan; they match you with a 73 year old stamp collector.

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author avatar waterhorse
4th Nov 2013 (#)

Yes I know. The sites really don't help you out in any way. I guess there is an advantage to meeting people you wouldn't normally meet in day to day life but the problem is finding a decent human being among all the weirdos. My cousin said it's a numbers game. You have to meet 100 people before you meet the right one. She unfortunately has had no luck and she's been doing it for many years. It's too bad there isn't a better way.

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author avatar Retired
4th Nov 2013 (#)

this is eye opener
i liked this one yeah

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author avatar snerfu
4th Nov 2013 (#)

yeah, everyone is hyped up on the net, but they do seem drab when you meet them.

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author avatar iidob
5th Nov 2013 (#)

To believe a net.personality really dangerous. Please never do that.

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author avatar Wright
9th Dec 2014 (#)

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