Javanese Style in Fighting Divorce Cases

Lila BangsawanStarred Page By Lila Bangsawan, 2nd Jul 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Do not ever surrender with your marriage problems. Javanese style may be fits with you to fight divorce. Please read it through...

Divorces in Indonesia

From the statistic point of view, total number of divorce cases are relatively high in Indonesia. There were 250 thousands cases in 2010. Infidelity became a common reason of the divorce cases and total number of infidelity cases were 10.144. This number was higher than years before.

Infidelity. Actually, infidelity is seen as an impact of other core problems in a relationship. It is an accumulation of marriage problems that a couple can not see a way out. Generally some marriage problems are identified as followed:

Economical reasons

In Indonesia, young couples who decide to get marriage generally do not have economical bases for their future life. Their marriage simply based on love and passion. The immature reason of getting marriage is sometimes bring some consequences to their preparedness on facing economical difficulties. Hence, problems arises. Psychologically, immature decision will be ended with depressive feelings and hurt each other. Blame each other. In my country, divorce cases caused by economical factor was about 13.114 cases in 2009. It was relatively high.

Infidelity sometimes come from this mess point. But, with or without infidelity cases, frequently divorce then become the final option of some couples with economical reasons

Misfits

Unifying two persons in one home is not easy. A couple, who have decided to get marriage, will find some misfits in the beginning. Marriage mean unify two behaviors, sex behaviors, two habits, even two minds. When one of a couple try too hard to equalize his/her sex behavior, life style, habit or mind with his/her couple, and can not accept some differences between both of them, a mess may be existed. Statistic number of divorce cases caused by misfits has shown relatively high in my country. And again, misfits will be followed by infidelities.

Parenting style

Children are another causes of some divorce cases. Actually, difference parenting style of a couple may become the core. (See the similar article on "parenting stile")

Sex

Difference sex behavior is another core problem of divorce cases. Sometimes a couple could not be frank each other for their needs and passion. This is caused by some constraints of social values or culture. In my country, this case will never be expressed as a main reason of a divorce case. It is covered with the "misfits". Hence, Infidelities are also frequently existed. Sad.

Javanese Style

It is because I was born as a Javanese, so I know exactly the philosophy of Javanese people in avoiding divorce case and maintaining their marriage. Here are some Javanese ways:
Acceptance means just accept what has God given to you because it is the best way He choose for you. Accepting everything sincerely, and hope everything will be fine someday. Javanese believed a sincere will pay you the best one day.

Struggle in Honest; it means a couple should struggle honestly for their happiness. Struggling for a happiness of a family will be rewarded by a goodness.

Softness; it means like water, softly sweep out the dirtiness. Softness may fight toughness. Be soft to your couple to fight your couple's toughness.

Smiling; it means that your enemy will lose with your smile.

Forgiveness; is very important to be an acceptance person.

I hope there will be no more divorce cases in this world. Good luck.

Tags

Divorce, Economical Reason, Infidelity, Marriage Relationship, Misfits, Parenting Style, Relationship, Sex

Meet the author

author avatar Lila Bangsawan
I am a teacher of an elementary school. I live in Bandung-Indonesia and have 2 sons. I will write on travel as my writing focus because I was a traveler around Indonesia areas when I was young.

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Comments

author avatar jak2010
3rd Jul 2011 (#)

Good article, something to consider in our own life.

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author avatar Lila Bangsawan
3rd Jul 2011 (#)

Thank you for posting, Jak.

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author avatar Denise O
3rd Jul 2011 (#)

Sadly, this happens all over the world, too often. Great tips on staying happily married. Nice read. Congrats on the star page, it is well deserved. As always, thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Lila Bangsawan
3rd Jul 2011 (#)

Yes, it is so sad to see so many divorce cases that actually the marriages can be prevented if there are some understandings between some couples.Thank you so much, Denise.

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
3rd Jul 2011 (#)

Well deserved star page, Lila, for a very interesting article.

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author avatar Lila Bangsawan
3rd Jul 2011 (#)

Thank you, Steve. Thanks for your supports so far.

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author avatar Delicia Powers
3rd Jul 2011 (#)

Congratulations on your star page, very well done Lila:0)

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author avatar Lila Bangsawan
3rd Jul 2011 (#)

Thank you, Delicia. It's all because of your and all my nice friends' supports. Thanks for posting.

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author avatar gold stand
4th Jul 2011 (#)

great article...I am also worried for such situation because the Philippines is now trying to pass a law to legalize divorce...I hope this shouldn't happen....

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author avatar Lila Bangsawan
4th Jul 2011 (#)

Divorce is individual problems. I hope you will get a nice girl in future, gold star. Thank you for sharing.

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author avatar Retired
5th Jul 2011 (#)

I have to agree with you...marriages could be saved; but it's up to the couple in the marriage...it is sad to see so many divorces in any country......

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author avatar Lila Bangsawan
6th Jul 2011 (#)

Again, I should agree to you Starleena. All marriage is up to the couple, but still they could prevent their love with various ways. Thank you for your nice comment, Starleena. Best regard.

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author avatar MAnature
8th Jul 2011 (#)

This was a very interesting read thank you.

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author avatar J A Ridley
8th Jul 2011 (#)

Very good advice from your culture. This is what Wiki is all about, I think. Good share, thanks

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author avatar Lila Bangsawan
8th Jul 2011 (#)

Thanks for posting and your sharing, JA. Best Regard.

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