Is the grass greener on the other side?

Mary Vlahakis By Mary Vlahakis, 3rd Oct 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

The early days of a relationship are filled with bliss. The feeling of excitement when he walks into the room. The hours of conversations and the feeling like that person is listening to you like no one has ever listened to you before. How long is that sustainable?

The Early years

Much like an infant finds overwhelming joy in the simple things, the same goes for couples in the early stages. There is so much information to share, getting to know someone and listening to every word that they say. Bright eyed and anxious to see that person again after saying good night. Thinking about the next time that you will see them and what you will talk about. Relationships follow cycles, much like everything else. A new job, a new friendship, a new car, a new toy etc. Is it not normal that the joy that you get from anything new slowly loses it's charm with time? Are we so short-sighted that we cannot acknowledge that such bliss is impossible to sustain and frankly unnatural?

Transition period

Every intense emotion must transition to something else. We cannot expect to sustain the intense feeling of a new relationship or any emotion. The same can be said about grieving or losing something that is dear to us. The intense feeling of lose and mourning cannot last forever otherwise we would not be living anymore. Everything is cyclical. If we hold onto to grief and sadness, then we will never feel joy and happiness again. Inversely, if we hang onto the excitement of a new relationship we will never transition into other emotions that are just as important.

Managing expectations

So then, it all becomes about managing expectations. If you expect that you will feel that overwhelming bliss that you felt early on in your relationship, than surely you will be disappointed. Those feeling must transition to something else. Once the newness goes away, it must be replaced with familiarity and your spouse, who was once a mystery and a novelty, now becomes your family. They become the person that you have chosen to build a life with. You will raise a family together and build a future for your children. You cannot expect the thrill and the excitement of the newness to continue. If that is what you are looking for, than your best bet is to stay in a relationship until that newness is gone, go through the break-up and the sorrow and then start all over again. Manage your expectations, that is the key.


Divorce, Life Choices, Marriage

Meet the author

author avatar Mary Vlahakis
I am a working mother of two. My writing will focus primarily on a variety of life experiences from my work life and my life as a working mom.

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author avatar Retired
3rd Oct 2014 (#)

That's not to say that love disappears, but that it matures into every day life. And one way to bring excitement in is to do new things together. This is an excellent article with a mature, logical perspective!

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author avatar Mary Vlahakis
3rd Oct 2014 (#) are so right. If the love was really there to begin with than it cannot disappear.

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author avatar Retired
3rd Oct 2014 (#)

PS: Forgot to mention ... enjoyed your article enough to click and follow you. :)

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author avatar Mary Vlahakis
3rd Oct 2014 (#)

Cool...I will follow you as well

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author avatar Mccart
5th Oct 2014 (#)

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author avatar Wright
9th Dec 2014 (#)

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author avatar Frama
11th Jun 2015 (#)

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