Is It Wrong For Christians to Use Online Dating Sites?

Zach3000Starred Page By Zach3000, 22nd Feb 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Do you think it is wrong for a Christian to use online dating sites to find love? This is a topic of controversy because many single Christians are so desperate to find love, that they will go to great lengths to get hitched. Find out what the Bible says on this.

Love Can Happen at a Young Age

Regardless of your status now, all of us have been single at one point in our lives. No one comes out of the womb already married.

But some do fall in love during their teenage years with a high school sweetheart, and the rest is history. However, it doesn't happen that way for most of us.

Quoting a Bible Verse to Justify Marriage

If you are a Christian, they you may be all too familiar with a verse from the Bible that says: "It is not good for man to be alone," which is found in Genesis 2:18. In fact, this verse is over-used to promote marriage.

I was even told by a close friend about his Singles Sunday school teacher that prayed that each of the singles would get married, as if it was a curse to be single, and it was God's Will for everyone to be married.

The truth is, it is not a curse to be single, and it is not God's Will for everyone to be married.

What I am not saying here is this: While not everyone is meant to be married, I am not endorsing the cultural trend to co-habitate with a girlfriend/boyfriend as if one is married.

If a person decides to not marry, and focus their life on serving God, that is a very noble decision.

But if a person chooses to date until finding the right person, then one should get married, since the real purpose of dating is to find a spouse.

Bible Verses Overlooked For Staying Single

Those who wish to quote the Bible to justify getting married, often overlook what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9:

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."

Also, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35:
"I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

If a person has self-control over his sexual temptations and fleshly desires, then it is okay to stay single, and serve the Lord.

The Christian & Online Dating Sites

Should a Christian use online dating websites?

While there is not a cut and dry answer on this, it is clear that one is not satisfied with his current standing and status in God if he feels the need to actively search for a partner without first seeking God's Will through prayer and Bible study.

When I was still single, I had a discussion at lunch with a colleague. This person said: "Is it wrong to look for a job when you want a job? Then why can't you look for someone to date?"

The problem with this reasoning is that you are comparing apples to oranges. A person needing a job is a need, while a person wanting companionship is a want.

Here is what I would tell any of my friends on the subject of finding your soul mate: I believe that if you pray about it, letting God know your desire for a mate, He will provide if it is in His Will for your life. I believe that if he has bigger and greater plans for your life, then He will make that clear for you, too. If that is the case, and you were meant to be single, then He will remove the desire for you to seek out another person, and allow you to be satisfied with being single.

Either way, God will take care of you and give you a fulfilling satisfaction in the path He provides.

I also believe that if God provides a spouse, it will be in your normal everyday life, or wherever He leads you.

I personally did not find my wife until I was satisfied with being single in my life, and allowed God to provide without going to extreme lengths in search of a mate.

It is very possible that you go out and find a spouse, but it not be God's best for you. That perfect person God had planned for you may not even get a chance, if you are already taken.

Happiness Comes to Those Who Wait

According to, here are reasons why a man and woman should not move in together (or have sexual relations) before marriage:

  • More than eight out of ten couples who live together will break up either before the wedding or afterwards in divorce.
  • About 45 percent of those who begin cohabiting, do not marry. Another 5-10 percent continue living together and do not marry.
  • Couples who do marry after living together are 50% more likely to divorce than those who did not.
  • Only 12 percent of couples who have begun their relationship with cohabitation end up with a marriage lasting 10 years or more.
  • A Penn State study reports that even a month’s cohabitation decreases the quality of the couple’s relationship.

Dating exists so that a man and a women can find the right person for marriage. God created marriage so that a man and a woman can enjoy each other in a fulfilling and life-long relationship.

Seek God before all else, and He will provide for you a fulfilling life with or without a spouse, custom-made specially for you!


Bible, Couples, Dating, Divorce, Eharmony, God, Married, Online, Singles, Sites, Will

Meet the author

author avatar Zach3000
Zach has his own blog (Google: Z.Love's Entertainment Blog), and has been published elsewhere. He also is a Photoshop Expert.

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author avatar Ivyevelyn, R.S.A.
23rd Feb 2012 (#)

God provides in his own time and his own way.
We are able to make a choice but some choices are safer than others.

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author avatar Teila
23rd Feb 2012 (#)

Fun read

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author avatar Jerry Walch
23rd Feb 2012 (#)

An interesting read. Interesting stats. I wonder how those divorce/breakup stats compare with the divorce/separation stats for "Christian" marriages?

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author avatar Denise O
25th Feb 2012 (#)

Well then, I am not the norm (go figure) if I go by your stats. I did live with my husband before marriage, we have been together for 23 years and have been married for 13. Happily to this day. I do believe in prayer, as I do live my life with it always with me. I see no reason why folks do not seek, for as God does provide, he also tells us, we must do the work. I guess we disagree on a few things but, so goes life. Nice read. Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Jerry Walch
25th Feb 2012 (#)

The problem with using statistics, Denise, to back up ones position is that statistics can be manipulated to mean anything that you want them to mean.

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author avatar Zach3000
25th Feb 2012 (#)

Denise, I am glad you are in a long-lasting marriage. That is great news.

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