How to be a Parent Every Teen Needs

A.S. By A.S., 26th Mar 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Parenting

Parenting is crucial. Too much allowance and children become spoiled, too much strictness and they become rebellious. Here are the list of things on how to avoid complications with your little ones:

Parenting

Parents usually seek advice from other parents for tips on parenting. Well, I am no more than eighteen myself and is not yet a parent. I am asking you now why not hear from us? You may ask, “Why should I? What do young ones know?”

You will always accept your child no matter what they have become. But you can’t deny the fact that there are certain things you’d like them to do and things you’d love them to be. So do we. We love our parents but there are times when we wish they are more like this and less like that.

So aside from my own observations and own opinions, I’ve asked some of my friends for things they love and hate about their parents. Here are their answers:
(I may have omitted the answers which were not serious. My apology to those friends of mine who tried to be funny.)

Things that our parents do which we love:

1. "They listen"

A lot of things could happen in a day. Always show your children that you are willing to listen to whatever stories they may have, whether it be an important one or non-sense at all. And don’t just be there listening, show that you actually care about what they are telling you. Know their friends, their enemies, the subjects they find interesting and the teachers they love. ‘Cause when they finally realized that you barely care about their stories, one day they might just stop sharing them with you. And it is very important that you withheld first your judgment until you heard every bit of it.

2. “They accept.”

Some teenagers love to socialize with other people while others are contented with staying at their rooms, doing whatever they enjoy: games, reading, watching movies, etc. Your children could have failing grades. They might be gay (I won’t say anything now about this matter to avoid any unnecessary arguments). My point is, whatever they want to do and whoever they want to be, accept them. Don’t turn them into a person obliging to society’s standards. Turn them into a person who makes them happy.

3. “Buying me stuffs even without me asking.”

Yep, this is us being materialistic. But this is not about giving everything we ask of you. (Although to be honest, I wish my parents would ;) ) What I’m talking about here is occasionally giving us presents, even with no apparent reason except for making us happy. Or even as a reward for a little thing we did. This makes us happy enough that when our friend asked us what we love about our parents, we remember the times they surprised us with a little gift.

4. “When they hug me”

Even I am surprised that this answer came from a boy, when it is them that we expect to be less affectionate with their parents. I won’t deny that these kind of actions can sometimes be awkward, especially when you’re not that close to them. But don’t be afraid to show your children that you love them so they won’t doubt it. Hug them when you feel the moment is right. It is another way of saying “I am here for you”.

5. “When they prepare my favorite foods.”

One of the things we miss from home when we are away is the food. There is nothing quite like a mother’s cooking. I personally appreciate it when my mum make me porridge whenever I’m sick. And seeing my favorite foods on the table just after a tiring day from school can really lift up my spirits.

6. “They are supportive.”

Make sure that you can always make it to their graduation, contests, speeches, birthday, etc. It is comforting to see a very proud face in front of the crowd. Before you tell your child what you want him to be, ask him first what he wants to be. Then try to be as supportive as you can. Understand that they might have different things that they want to do in life other than the ones you dreamed of. Don’t force them to take the path they don’t want to travel. I understand that parents “only want what’s best for us”, but isn’t what makes us happy the best for us?

Things that our parents do which we hope they won’t

1. “Expect too much”

Teenagers nowadays undergo lots of pressure. They must choose a course in college which should determine what they’re going to do for the rest of their lives. They must maintain high grades while being emotionally, physically and mentally healthy. Acknowledge your child even with his least accomplishment. Encourage him to learn the things in life which really matters. Don’t be one of those parents who always want their child to be the best in everything among everyone. Just let him be the best that he can be.

2. “Too strict”

We understand that you care about us so much and that you only want us to always be safe. But we are teens. We’re not just supposed to spend all our energy planning for our future. We also have to live the present. Let us have some quality times with our friends. Because with all the stress we go through, we also deserve to have fun. Don’t be the reason why your child will grow into an old person who missed out so much in life.

3. “Too nosy”

I mentioned earlier that you should always listen to your child and know everything about him. But there are really just things that’s embarrassing for a teen to tell to their parents. Yes, he is your child and you have every right to know all about his life but still give him a little privacy. Just show him that you are willing to hear him but don’t pressure him to tell you what it is. At some time, he will tell you about it anyway. That’s why it is very important for you to have your child’s trust while he’s young.

4. “Doubts”

I really get hurt and a little annoyed when it seems like my parents don’t trust me. So I’m telling you now that when we know our parents trust us, that’s when it is hardest for us to betray and disappoint them. My mother used to doubt me all the time, always thinking I’m doing something wrong. It brought me farther away from her, always keeping secrets from her. But when I confronted her that I hate it when she doubts everything that I do, she started to trust me every time. And now I can hardly lie to her.

5. “Comparing us to others”

This is what you should never do. Especially among our siblings. Everyone has different qualities. Someone is ought to be better than others. As teens, we tend to have insecurities and you comparing us to others lowers our self-esteem. You have to help us feel good about ourselves because how will we ever believe other people’s compliments when our own parents deny it to us?

Your Role



Young people can be stupid. Sometimes you gotta let them learn from their own mistakes. For example, if you told him that he should never run fast for he could trip and get wounded, he might never do so. But every time he sees other people running wildly, he’ll blame you for never being able to feel his heart beat that fast and catch his breath so desperately. But if you let him run, and he trips, he learned his lesson. Your role is to help him up whenever he falls. Now it’s up to him if he’ll let the pain stop him or let himself be repeatedly wounded until he’s numb from it. It can either make him wiser or stronger.

Tags

Parenting Advice, Parenting Tips, Teenagers, Trust

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author avatar A.S.
just really wanna write about my random thoughts

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Comments

author avatar Retired
26th Mar 2015 (#)

Some good advice there. I'm not a parent myself, but as a daughter and a sister I can understand what you're saying. Good article. =)

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author avatar A.S.
26th Mar 2015 (#)

Thank you :) I just hope this helps the parents out there to deal with their teens

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
29th Mar 2015 (#)

Great article, fantastic information and a must read for all parents. Nice to meet you and hope to read more from you!

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