How to Discuss Sexuality with your Teen

Alexandra Heep By Alexandra Heep, 2nd Aug 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Parenting

Every parent should know how to handle this subject. Here are some easy ways on how to handle a difficult subject.

What does it mean?

Many people call it "The Talk". However, discussing sexuality with your teen hopefully will take place more than once. It doesn't just mean talking about sexual functions and pregnancy. Discussing sexuality includes a lot of angles, such as: sexually transmitted diseases, birth control, emotional and physical aspects of having sex, the feeling of "being in love" and what it means, etc. Don't ever think it's too late to start, because teens' peers and the media should not be the sole sources of information when it comes to sex.

Be prepared

The most important factor is to be prepared. If you are not used to this subject, educate yourself. Use the Internet, pamphlets from health care providers, and so forth. Practice in your head what you want to say, perhaps even write down some facts. Get used to using the proper sexual terms. If this causes you embarrassment, practice until you get used to it.

Once you have the technical part down, you need to be prepared to discuss emotional situations as well. Think about what your teen might ask you. Come up with some non-intrusive questions of your own to ask your teen. For example, you might ask what their idea and concept of an ideal relationship is. Discussing emotions as well as consequences of sexual actions are part of learning about sexuality.

Fear not, teens actually want their parents to take an interest in how they feel and most of all: they want to be understood. One of their greatest fears it that their parent will stop loving them. This means that your discussions about sexuality should not take the form of a lecture, but rather should be an exchange of information.

Getting started

Now that you are prepared, how do you start talking about sex for the first time? Make sure the discussion takes place on a one-on-one basis. If you have more than one teenager, the conversation should not be done in front of the other sibling or siblings, as to respect your teen's right of privacy. It goes without saying that no people should intrude, the TV should be off, and no pressing engagements such as an upcoming practice should be scheduled right after.

Teens like a direct approach. Just start of by saying that there is something you would like to discuss with them. Then let them know what the subject is, and make sure to state that you will still love them, no matter what they contribute to it. Then follow through and keep yourself calm and rational.

Follow up

If the first discussion goes rather one sided (you do most of the talking), do not get discouraged. They might be shy at first; especially if this is the first time you have approached them with an issue of importance. They will still think about what you said, and you should follow up with another discussion after they have had some time to process the information.

Hopefully, this will pave the road to further deepen the relationship between you and your teen.


Discuss, Discussions, Families, Family, Family Health, Family Influence, Family Life, Family Love, Talk, Teen, Teen Dating, Teen Love, Teen Sex, Teenager, Teens

Meet the author

author avatar Alexandra Heep
I am a freelancer and I can write about any subject. I have a professional background in administration, real estate, marketing, and mortgage post-closing. Other areas of expertise include health and beauty as well as spirituality and self help iss...(more)

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