How To Make The First Move On A Man

Harris Mungai By Harris Mungai, 28th Jan 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

Want to move from being just friends to lovers? Use these tips.

A Tale Of Two Lovers

Thirty-two-year-old Charity and Dennis have been good friends for two-and-a-half years now.In that time,Charity has begun to see Dennis as more than just a friend."I've come to love him,I want him to be my man," she says.Nonetheless, Charity is afraid that she and Dennis may never date." He often speaks of how he cherishes our friendship and he would never allow anything jeopardize it.This makes me wonder if I should let him know how I feel".
On one hand,such assurances on how strong their friendship is appear to dulling Charity's hopes of ever being more than just a friend to him.On the other hand,she is convinced that they share a mutual bond."There is no friendship that doesn't involve attraction.If we have been good friends for such a long time,it was because we were attracted to each other". Nonetheless, though she has been toying with the idea of making the first move,Charity is intimidated by the thought of Dennis saying no." If he says no,I fear having to contend with the reality of rejection and the awkwardness that would characterise our friendship thereafter".
Many other women are doubtless sailing the same boat with Charity. Yet,with the right tone and approach, a woman can very well make the first move, leading to a blossoming relationship.But how do you do it? Here are a few steps that you can employ.

Don't be Intimidated

Granted,asking a man out can be very difficult.In any case it is going against the grain to initiate a date,leave alone a relationship, with the risk of coming across as aggressive,masculine or desperate are always present.But according to Rhonda Findling, a psychotherapist and author of The Dating Cure,a man is likely to find it refreshing if you ask him out." Beyond that it is empowering for the woman and puts her in a position of control in as far as her dating life goes," she adds.

Know When To Make The Move

Bear in mind that you should not make a move on every guy you are attracted to.If you want
a serious relationship,pay keen attention to the man you are interested in.There will always be pointers whether your move will be reciprocated or unwelcome.
For instance,see if he references past conversations that you have had with details about you interests.Similarly,observe if he is consistent with how he interacts with you.Does he return text messages? Does he call when he promised to? Is he reliable?These will help you determine whether he has an interest or not.

Drop a Hint

If you are took shy to make the move,give a clear green light.Most often,a man will hesitate to make a move if he feels you're not open to it.Create room for dating without coming across as too available.Being too flirty may cause him to recoil or give him the wrong impression.Be casual about it.For instance,you could casually ask him to check out a new bar or restaurant with you.In such a case,he is most likely to end up on a dinner date with you.
Nonetheless, don't be too vague about your intentions. Instead of saying,"want to go out sometime?" You may consider saying,"Would you like to go with me on Friday night to that new restaurant downtown? And after dinner,we could catch the jazz at the Memorial Park"!

Don't Lose Your Balance

Don't get too excited when he say yes.His agreeing to go out with you doesn't mean he is agreeing to start a relationship with you.A dinner date is not a direct ticket to a relationship.Infact,a man may agree to a dinner date with you and end up saying no to a relationship. If he says no,keep in mind his rejection may have nothing to do with you or your character.According to psychologist,Chris Hart," a good man will not hurt you with the any he says no,if he decides to." Spare yourself the unnecessary heartache,disappointment or embarrassment of pursuing you interest in him further.


Dating, Dating Advice, Dating Tips

Meet the author

author avatar Harris Mungai
I developed an interest in writing when I was in elementary school and since then this passion keeps on burning in me.Thank you Wikinut for this chance to express myself here.

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author avatar Utah Jay
28th Jan 2015 (#)

I think most men would be open to this, just watch for the wedding ring or the un-tanned spot on the ring finger.

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author avatar Harris Mungai
28th Jan 2015 (#)

Very true Utah,times have really changed.
Thank you very much.

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author avatar Vickie Collins
28th Jan 2015 (#)

wow you have given women some really good advice here, I think.

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author avatar Carol Roach
31st Jan 2015 (#)

It never worked for me, I was asked out by the men and if they didn't ask me out they were not interested

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author avatar Jenny Heart
4th Feb 2015 (#)

I say if you have to wonder then wonder away lol. if you have to fight for attention then either it isn't meant to be or they are blind in all areas lol

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author avatar Harris Mungai
5th Feb 2015 (#)

Lol.....Jenny what a comment, maybe you have never found yourself in such a predicament.
Thanks for the comment though.

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author avatar Frama
11th Jun 2015 (#)

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