How I am moving on after death and feelings of rejection

Judy Ellen By Judy Ellen, 31st Oct 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Bereavement

Tips on how to move on after a death or significant change in ones life making them feel unwanted.

The older generation

As folks get older they experience more loss, death and rejection then what they think they can handle. My Mom died in 2007, my sister died in 2010, and my son in 2014. There was also the feeling of rejection due to not being able to be a part of the lives of my two youngest children who left Ohio for the Arizona dessert!

My epiphany

At any rate, at my son’s funeral I had an epiphany and realized what a big, loving and truly magnificent family we have here in Ohio! The love that I felt during my son’s funeral was miraculous!

At the worst time in my life when I thought I would have a heart attack or faint during the funeral, instead I felt such a strong sense of love from God and family along with a strong sense of peace.

No one ever anticipates a child going to Heaven before them and of course I am still in a state of shock!

I feel stronger and braver now than ever

I know that if God can get me through my son’s untimely death that he can get me through anything! I am more determined than ever now to live my life to the fullest and make every moment of every day count because life is indeed short!

I am volunteering at our local senior center to sing and play the guitar for them. Last month I sang and played the guitar in front of 100 or more seniors and loved every minute of it!

We are also enjoying our local library and I am trying to line up some paying gigs to supplement my social security.

Plus hubby and I enjoy playing tennis when the weather permits!

I am also in the church choir. Doing these types of things helps tremendously to heal the wounds of separation from my children and also from my son’s untimely death! Yes, I still write but cannot let it consume too much of my time because my retired hubby needs me too! At least he loves going with me to the senior center!

My husband’s fear of flying

I have never had a fear of flying but the first time I go to Arizona I hope to accompany my 2nd oldest son who lives here in Ohio who will be visiting his brother, sister and his elderly Dad in the assisted living center in January!

My son’s elderly Dad, who is 17 years older than I, fell shortly after he moved to Arizona with our children. He is now living in an Assisted Living Center because he needs around the clock care.

At any rate, I am thrilled by the whole idea of flying and hope that someday I will be able to spend some time with my children in Arizona! I am also hoping to line up some singing gigs out there! So there is much for me to look forward to!

However, I have to remain steadfast in prayer that my poor husband will be brave enough to accompany me some day; if we ever get the money for plane tickets for us both!

I am putting my trust in God to provide us with a way to make the money to fly to Arizona for a visit!

As stated in Romans 8:28 in the Bible, I am living my life with the assurance that "all things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are the called according to His purpose!"

In conclusion:
I would say that the most important thing for a senior citizen is to feel useful and not to let themselves dwell on negative thoughts! Volunteering is a great way to feel like you are giving back after all that God has given you in this life. It also keeps you from dwelling on your own problems giving you a broader perspective on life!

Maintaining a hobby that you love is also of great benefit! Some of my hobbies are tennis, singing and playing the guitar and keyboard, cooking, sewing, and writing.

Getting older is not for the weak but then again we can help others along the way as we share our experiences!

Tags

Bereavement, Death Of Loved One, Growing Older, Moving On, Rejection

Meet the author

author avatar Judy Ellen
I love writing poetry, songs articles on Christianity, health, anything pertaining to families! I love writing reviews on my favorite TV programs such as Discovery, Animal planet and Dr. Phil.

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Comments

author avatar Nancy Czerwinski
31st Oct 2014 (#)

Judy, great article. My heart goes out to you. I send blessing to you from me. I see age as a learning experience. I don't see age like everyone else does. I think it's actually a blessing. I have no idea why I feel like this. I just do. Smiles to you!

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author avatar Stella Mitchell
1st Nov 2014 (#)

Dear Judy ...it seems so long since I have read one of your pages , and this one is so very moving my friend .
I do so pray that the dear Lord will fill your days with good memories and happy tasks that make you feel life is still worth living and you are loved and not rejected .
God bless you
love Stella ><

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
1st Nov 2014 (#)

Happy that you are finding again meaning and joie de vivre in daily life, dear Judy. I look around within my friends and family circle to find some are really lost - the golden years prove a mirage as they fight loneliness on a regular basis. One can never really be prepared for what is in store when we drift into our sunset years. Every day I wake up, be up and about, is a gift from my Creator and I go about it with a take of being a co-creator. When I see my acquaintances leaving for the other shore, I think of how much they must have endured tough times too and in the end - I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. I am sure there will be great days ahead for you and family - siva

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author avatar LOVERME
3rd Nov 2014 (#)

In the shadow of what Lord Siva has said
I spoke to you before... have faith in time and have more faith in yourself ...life is sublime ...we all come only to go ...but when?
its time none know...
So get back on the rails... create poetry... it eases emotions as it helps a newer creation ...of thoughts and vibrations. So as I once advised, the Buddha had said ‘’reduce pain you will reduce suffering.’’
So follow your inner mind... I am aware twill take some time ..But faith you have is supreme and in hobbies find a new dream...to further fly towards eternity... till one is destined to merge...with the universe ...
So be it!
But twill takes time ...as per your inner will. My good wishes do refer back to me... I ain't, no God... but I help humanity ...having seen the face of scourge mostly ...You can never say
what the guy next door misses
more than ye...

That's the spirit...

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