Here are some tips on how to put yourself back together again after a break up

Authenticme By Authenticme, 4th Oct 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/1gbcbb1h/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

If you're going through a break up, it can feel like you're drowning, and you're grabbing for anything that will save you. Anything to ease the pain, a quick fix. Both the bad and the good news is, as you will see, that there is no quick fix.

Picking up the pieces one day at a time for those who never married their partner

If you're going through a break up, it can feel like you're drowning, and you're grabbing for anything that will save you. Anything to ease the pain, a quick fix. Both the bad and the good news is, as you will see, that there is no quick fix.

As soon as a break up happens, which can be a devastating blow, a wound has been inficted. This is sometimes not fully felt, as the 'dumpee' can be left feeling numb, reeling, and often in complete denial. Nevertheless a wound is there, a gaping, human-sized void where your significant other once was.

So, how do you go about healing a wound? Time is a wonderful healer, which is comforting, however there are things you can actively do to ease the pain. Firstly no contact is key, as any contact is going to keep that wound raw, inflamed and even infected. This might sound dramatic, but anyone going through a break up knows the tangible emotional pain that can be felt.

A complete and thorough approach is necessary here, meaning no physical, verbal or cyber contact, as well as limitation of how often you think about your ex, and talk about him. Initially during the 'ripping' period, where you've been dumped (an awful word but the fall from the feeling of being loved to abandonment is just this) you will need to talk about the experience. Even further down the line expressing the feelings is important to clear out your system, and your mind. However early in the break up, to actively mend your life you will need to put 'you' back in, and remove 'him'.

It does boil down to a choice between you and your ex: either you think about him, and question what went wrong, detracting from mending your life, or you think about what you need. A break up can be a life-shattering experience, and needs to be taken seriously. Respect yourself enough to allow yourself proper healing and care.

The more the reality of what's happened sinks in you will begin to see the events, and the character of your ex, in an entirely different light. Bear this in mind in the initial stages, as in the long run you may not even want this person back who has caused you such pain and heartbreak.

There is no way to turn back the clock, but you can focus on the here and now, and remember the power you do have which you may not realise. No one is perfect, not even your ex, and the demise of the relationship took two people. You will start to get used to living each day without your ex in it, but it is like learning to ride a bike again, or physical rehab after an injury.

If you do desire contact with your ex, ask yourself why you would want to be in touch with the person who inflicted these injuries on you. Life is your's to be enjoyed, and you do not need people in your life who complicate or threaten to ruin your's. There are plenty of kind, attractive (more than your ex!), generous, loyal and functional men who would love the opportunity to be your partner, make a life with you, and be at your side no matter what - to commit to you.

You are a loveable, valuable human being and can have the very best in life if you hold out for it. Choose wisely when selecting a partner for life, as that is what you are doing. It may feel painful and lonely at the moment, but a divorce further down the line, with children involved would be even worse. Breathe a big sigh of relief, and also rest in the knowledge that 'what is for you won't pass you by'. If this relationship with the ex is meant to work out, it will do with no help from you. So get busy living!

Tags

Break Ups, Getting Over A Break Up, How To Survice A Break Up

Meet the author

author avatar Authenticme
I'm an actor, musician, teacher and life coach. I will be publishing articles related to those topics, as well as common interest topics

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author avatar Wright
10th Dec 2014 (#)

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