Going Home For Thanksgiving

Pace21 By Pace21, 26th Nov 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

A personal comment on how life can pass without us really having the opportunity to make each time we see our loved ones count.

A History of Absence

When I was 21 years old I left home to go to college. I never really came back. As life moved on, I got married, had kids, got a job, then moved about 500 miles away from my parents. Although I lived within 15 miles of my parents for the first 8 years of my marriage, we never really saw each other then either, I had all the best excuses. I had 3 young kids and I worked shift work and they worked too. But there is no excuse for not putting forth the effort then to see each other besides on holidays. Now I approach my 43 Thanksgiving and can't help but to reflect on all the missed opportunities I should have taken and to make seeing my family a bigger priority in my life and how I there may not be a "next year."

Regrets are Useless

The main reason I am spending so much time wishing I would have spent more time with my parents, is that this holiday season, my mom has lung cancer. She was recently diagnosed and she is doing what she can, but it is inoperable and so her treatment options are slim. Fortunately for me, my mom is truly a fighter and part of the reason I didn't worry so much about seeing them, is that she was so tough, I really didn't think there was anything that could stop her. Now I know I was deluding myself and now I have to try to catch up on the time I should have been taking advantage of before it came to this. I have moved back up to within 80 miles of where my family lives and I have definitely spent more time with my parents than I used to, I still don't see them as much as I should, but at least I get to be here for her now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up, but it is not realistic to think that I have much more time with either of them. I have been blessed in my life to have both of my parents live to see my kids grow up, but there to, I regret the missed time, and I'm sure they regret having missed so much.

Don't Wait and Think There is Time

There's a saying "Smart men learn from their own mistakes, wise men learn from the mistakes of others." I didn't write this to share my pain or my regret with you, although I thank you for letting me confess my sin. I wrote it to encourage everyone that it isn't too late. If you're feeling convicted about not having seen a relative, friend, child, or even an acquaintance for a while, if you are held back by thoughts of being "in trouble" with that person because you have neglected the relationship, which is usually what holds us back in the first place. We don't want to face the fact that the person we haven't seen might be disappointed by us, so we continue to avoid seeing them. I can't promise they won't be a little upset with you, but that will pass and the feeling that you will have at finally seeing someone you love, no matter how long it's been, will completely erase the feelings of shame after the first five minutes.

Tis the season, Ebinezer Scrooge.

Just like the timeless tale by Dickens, we can all become wrapped up in our lives and think that tomorrow will be a good day to see those we love, but there are only so many tomorrows and you don't want to be standing at their funeral, wishing you had put away your pride, left work an hour early, or spared a Saturday for visiting instead of sitting around reading or watching another re run on television. Call up your loved one, tell them your coming by, or if you don't have the guts, just stop by, It will do more fore your soul and for them, then any other gesture you can make. I , at least have some warning, I now know my time with my parents and especially my mom, are limited and I need to make the effort to go see her as much as I can. Because in the end, I don't want to look back and think of all the times I could have gone and seen her and my dad. I want to look back and know that while they were here, I got the best gift of all, time with my family. I know I am not uncovering some hidden truth and I apologize for so many clich├ęs, but sometimes there is no better way to say these things and I hope you understand, I'm trying to help you avoid something I will carry with me until my kids see me to my final resting place. So please, use this season as a reason to make up for the things you should have been doing and go see your family, you and they will be glad you did.

Tags

Cancer, Family, Moms, Thanksgiving

Meet the author

author avatar Pace21
I am a training coordinator at a surface coal mine. I have loved writing since I was old enough to pick up a crayon and write.

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Comments

author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
26th Nov 2013 (#)

Happy Thanksgiving, it is a special holiday for many, I am in Canada with my wife, but I will make a Thanksgiving dinner.

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author avatar Pace21
27th Nov 2013 (#)

Happy thanksgiving

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
29th Nov 2013 (#)

Nice post and Happy Thanksgiving!

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author avatar Wright
9th Dec 2014 (#)

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