Funny Quotes in English

zalan21 By zalan21, 26th Dec 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Education

Everybody need sometime some funny quotes for a message card or for a greeting card. Now I selected for you some popular and funny quote to use.

Funny Quotes

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”
― Billy Sunday, Billy Sunday, the Man and His Message: With His Own Words Which Have Won Thousands for Christ

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
― Chris Rock

“What the hell is that?" I laughed.
"It's my fox hat."
"Your fox hat?"
"Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat."
"Why are you wearing your fox hat?" I asked.
"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.”
― John Green, Looking for Alaska

“A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.”
― Bill Cosby

“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
― George Carlin

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
― Will Rogers

“Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time."
"This is my time, Hathaway. I'm leading today's session."
"Oh yeah?" I retorted. "Huh. Well, I guess this is a good time to think about me naked, then."
"It's always a good a time to think about you naked," added someone nearby, breaking the tension further.”
― Richelle Mead, Vampire Academy

“Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.”
― Mae West

“Ethan Wyeth: I hope you're thirsty."
Gideon Wyeth:"Why?"
Ethan: "Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty.”
― Orson Scott Card

Here are some popular quote too...

Tags

Education, English, Funny, Quotes

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author avatar zalan21
I am a seo manager from Romania.

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