Full-Time Father

AntMoon By AntMoon, 15th Sep 2016 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/iqcevrzn/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Parenting

Growing up without a father and becoming one.Learning that a Father is not what you need but family.

Full-Time Father

Growing up I never had a father or male figure that was always there for me as some kids do. Having a father is something I always longed for. Now not to discredit my mother past attempts of finding someone that would make her and my siblings happy but eventually they fell into the same stereotype of hitting her and drinking way too much on a daily basis. Ultimately leaving because they rather drink and do drugs all night rather than sit on the couch and watch sitcoms on TV or play a board game. At this point I decided that I have no male to look up to, my biological father could careless about me and my siblings and the one that took his place eventually became his doppelganger. I swore to myself I would never be that person, I would love my wife, and do everything to take care of my kids.

I joined the Marine Corps when I was 19 years old thinking that if I want to be a man and learn what it take to be a man then this is the way to go. Throughout bootcamp I admired my senior drill instructor, he was a short gentleman with a roar of a lion. He instilled discipline, loyalty, commitment, and honor in me and I looked up to him even if he was yelling and spitting in my face I admired him. Not only did I have a man I can look up to I had a brotherhood that I know that I can depend on and they can depend on me.

On my quest to becoming a man I still felt this emptiness that I could not fill. I wanted a father and that was never going to happen. I loathed watching father-son movies/sitcoms where the dad was the best thing ever and was always there for their sons. One darn episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air always got me; Will's father finds him and they hang out for a couple of days or so and he becomes everything Will ever wanted in a dad. The dad even goes as far as inviting him to go on the road with him. Will is ecstatic and finally has his dad back in his life and he has filled that hole in his heart that he's had for so many years. Well if you haven't seen the episode I have placed the link below.

Video

Like Will I tried several times to make amends with my biological father but it never happened. I would invite him over, visit him when I could and it just seemed as I was more of a burden that his son. Just like Will I didn't need him and there wasn't anything he could have taught me about loving my kids that I have already taught myself. Two years ago he died and I didn't go to his funeral, I just didn't know how to feel, I still don't. I don't think I have come to terms with it and I don't think I ever will.

I met the woman of my dreams, she is everything you would ever want and need in life. She has a great dad that always helps her out and is there for her when she needs him. I am so happy she has that in her life and she can share that (him) with me. He took me on my first fishing trip about 5 years ago, we didn't catch anything but it was fun just having someone show me how to fish. He's a hands on type of guy so he's always messing with tools and doing improvements on his home and helping him out I get a feeling I cannot describe. He bought me my first tool box a couple years back and it's one of my prized possessions even though I don't use it that much.

Now that I have kids I sometimes find myself looking back on how my biological father treated my mom and how my stepfather ran out on us to do drugs, I know I will never be those people, I know that family is more important and I know now that the hole in my heart was always filled by my mom. She is the one that took care of us, she's the one that worked the late shifts to make sure we had everything we needed growing up. She's the one that instilled in me how to work hard, finish school, and most importantly love my wife and kids. Without her I don't think I would be the man I am today. I have 5 kids now and that is a full-time job in itself and there is nothing that I would not do for them. I take them camping, swimming, to the park, and pretty much anywhere they want. I am kind of a sucker for them, they all have me wrapped around their little digits and that's okay and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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