Fake It to Make It?

aking1614 By aking1614, 2nd Nov 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

A little bit of a rant about people (myself included) who do things for others out of guilt or obligation, or strictly for show. We need to stop that, and start doing more things out of love; because we WANT to rather than because we HAVE to.

What Ever Happened to Doing Things Out of Love?

I am tired of people who do things for me out of guilt or sense of obligation. I’m even more tired of those who do things for me so they can brag about it or because they want something in return. What takes the cake though is people who make (or fake) grand gestures in public that they would have never dreamed of making in private. What happened to doing for others out of love? When you truly care about someone, you do for them and give to them because you WANT to; not because you HAVE to. You give without expectation of receiving. And if the person really cares about you, they will do the same.

Yes, You Have Fakers In Your Life....

It's a well-kept secret (perhaps) that some people in your life and mine are just faking it to make it. They have no desire to do the things they are doing, but rather feel a need to do them to gain approval or favor. Those who know the faker well are not fooled by their acts of “kindness”, though the general public may be. How can you tell if your friend, spouse, family member or co-worker is faking it?

Some Clues to Help You Spot a Faker

The first tip-off is that they do things half-heartedly and generally half-assed (excuse my French) as well. They don’t appear happy to perform the act; they are downright reluctant, in fact. The faker will also do only as much as is absolutely required. There will be no extra effort go above and beyond what is normally called for. People who genuinely WANT to do something will be excited and passionate about doing it. They will throw themselves into it and try to do an extraordinary job while they’re at it. They are happy to do one thing for you and will look for additional things they can do.

Ladies, does your husband call you “sweetheart “ and “baby” when you are out with friends but only calls you by your name at home? When he gives you a piece of jewelry for your anniversary, do you find that people are coming up to you to admire it because he has told everyone that he bought it for you? That’s a huge hint that he is a faker. The same goes for the girlfriend that lets you raid her closet and then makes a point of telling the rest of your friends that the dress you’re wearing used to be hers.

Men, does your wife seem to only be going through the motions during sex? Chances are she tired, ill or maybe even uninterested, but she goes along out of a sense of obligation. She doesn’t want to take the chance that you will cheat on her in order to get your needs met. So rather than tell you that she’s not in the mood, she will play along to insure you remain faithful. On the other hand, there are husbands who will help out around the house only to insure that they can play on that obligation. They don’t do it because they see their wife is overwhelmed and they want to help. They do it because they want to make sure she is not too tired for sex at the end of the day.

The Pledge to Be Sincere; Not Fake

There are lots of fakers out there. If you pay close attention, you’ll be able to spot them. I’ve come to a point in my life where I only want to deal with people who are genuine; those who do things for me out of love and concern for my well-being. I have to admit I, too, have done some faking from time to time; doing things for others because they expected me to do them. Let’s all make this pledge from this day forward:

I will no longer be prodded into doing things out of guilt, obligation or others’ ideas of what I should be doing. I will not make a show of giving so that others will be impressed. I will treat loved ones in private the same way I do in public. I will do those things that I can do freely and enthusiastically, out of the abundance of my heart. I will give out of love, with no expectation of receiving. I will no longer fake it to make it.

Tags

Acts Of Kindness, Approval, Favor, Genuine, Giving, Guilt, Love, Obligation, Relationship Issues

Meet the author

author avatar aking1614
I am an engineer by trade, but a poet and songstress at heart. I started writing occasional articles online about five years ago, but poetry is still my first love.

find me on twitter@ashanpoetry

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Comments

author avatar Denise O
4th Nov 2010 (#)

Love, love love it! I too am sick and tired of these folks also.
Let us all be real. Good read.
Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Emgee
4th Feb 2011 (#)

this is good, I know people like these.

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