Eight Things That Love is Not

ScottHallock By ScottHallock, 18th Aug 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

The meaning of love has been studied, debated and argued about since time began. Everyone has an opinion and thought of what love is, but what is it not?

Eight Things That Love is Not

Love does not hurt

If it were true honest love, it would not hurt. When there is emotional and physical, abuse in a relationship, there is no love. There are too many issues to discuss here as to why anyone would stay with an abusive partner. The truth of the matter is that love does not hurt, cause pain and damage someone both physically and emotionally. If you are one of these people, the world is commanding you to run for your life. You are in a relationship without love and should get out of it now and save yourself.

Love is not manipulative

Love is not using someone to get what you want. If you hear the phrase, "If you love me, you would do it", run because this is not what love is. Cowards who are not real men or woman uses this tactic to manipulate others and feed their need to be in control. They pray upon your feelings and use them to gain control to get what they want.

Love is not compromising your values

When you are in love, it is natural to want to put your partner's happiness before your own. This does not mean that you should be untrue to yourself and compromise your own true values.

Love is not asking your partner to do something they do not want to do in order to prove they love you. Love is not going against your values and sacrificing who you are.

Love is not lust

Lust has certainly been the one common destroyer of many people throughout time. Lust has brought down the mightiest and the most powerful. Lust is responsible for creating so much damage that entire generations have been lost, wars started and countless lives ended. It is the single most damaging emotion, there is, and it is not love.

Lust can be confused with love because when we first meet someone we may be attracted to him or her, desire them and have romantic feelings for them so it could be said that because of this chemistry we have with that person whom it must be love. True love will override the feelings of lust and instead of being selfish and putting our own needs first, we will care about our partner's wants and needs instead. The true measure of love is commitment and trust not just physical attraction.

Love is not sex

Any person can have sex with people or himself, herself, or anything and that is not love. Sex is not love and love is not sex, and the question has to be asked, when are people going to finally understand that, to just arbitrarily have sex with each other is foolish, that it is wrong, against the rules, and that it destroys lives.

Sex is certainly part of true honest love. When two people share each other within the bounds that it has been set, sex is beautiful.

Love is not power

The biggest problem is a relationship today is who has the power. Who is on top, who is chasing whom, who has the control and who is in charge? This is not love.

The truth, is that there are things a man can do that a woman cannot, there are things a woman can do that a man cannot, and true love knows its place. True love will hold hands and walk side by side together through life doing the best it can. If someone knows more about something more than the other person does than for the good of the relationship it gets done, but not for power.

Love is not jealousy

If you were truly in love, you would not allow any outside influences interfere with your love. There should never be a reason your partner would feel jealousy or wonder if you are being faithful. Trust is one of the corner stone's of the foundation of love and to fool with that trust is not love.

Love is not selfish

Being selfish will get you just what you deserve, loneliness. Being self-centered, egotistical and arrogant is not love. Love is sharing all you have with the one you truly love and putting them first above yourself.


Everyone seeks after the many things that love is. Unfortunately, the countless things that love is not sometime confuse us, get in our way and lead us down destructive paths.

As we learn from these mistakes, we make promises to ourselves and say never again. Love is so many things and because of this, we stand and watch waiting, hoping and praying for true love.


Abuse, Being Used, Chemistry, Jealousy, Love, Lust, Marriage Money Problems, Marriage Relationship Problems, Relationships, Romance, Selfish, Sex, Values, Virginity

Meet the author

author avatar ScottHallock
I have been a Police Officer for over 28 years. I love writing articles on, "How Not to Become a Victim", Human Nature and Health / Fitness.

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author avatar Retired
19th Aug 2010 (#)

excelelnt points about love, true in all cases.

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author avatar Euphonos
19th Aug 2010 (#)

What you told about love is damn true. I fell in love 8 years ago and I am still in love with the same guy. It is not jealousy, selfishness or manipulative, Much more precious.

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author avatar Jenny Heart
3rd Nov 2010 (#)

I'm saving this to my favorites. This information is full of true wisdom. You are more than street smart you are heart smart. Thumbs up!

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
6th Nov 2010 (#)

Brilliantly said. Only wish they said it this succinctly in the High Schools lol. Could save a lot of pain later on. Thanks Scott!

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author avatar Jenny Heart
14th Jan 2011 (#)

Had to visit this one again it was so moving.

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