Eight Reasons for Sibling Quarrels

vpaulose By vpaulose, 30th Dec 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/8vj0u58y/
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Parenting

As parents, we say that we treat our children equally but, in reality, it is not possible to do so. Rivalry between siblings grows even from the womb! There are Cains and Abels almost in every family.

Eight Reasons for Sibling Quarrels

You need not be surprised at the rivalry between siblings. Sibling rivalry is a natural reality of life due to so many physical, psychological and other reasons. There will always be disagreements between siblings because every human being is unique.

However, parents can use these opportunities to teach their children how to resolve these conflicts and learn adjustability in life. This is a very important tool to have later in
life for harmonious living.

Sibling rivalry for better living

You may find brothers and sisters fighting each other making all stressful. But look at the positive side of sibling rivalry. Make it a learning step. In learning how to deal with rivalry, children learn how to cooperate, problem-solve, adjust to situations, and negotiate. This helps them probably grow up to be more tolerant of other people, and more generous, too.

Eight reasons for sibling rivalry

Although the exact causes of sibling rivalry may very from one family to another, there are overarching sorts of factors and events that can be, ultimately, the root causes of any sibling rivalry. Knowing what these important factors and events are can help the parents to not only understand the causes of sibling rivalry, but also to deal with sibling
rivalry more effectively when it does occur.

1) Kids want to possess their parents’ whole attention

Kids generally do not want to have shared attention. They never like taking turns in their parents’ attention. They want the whole. This attitude should be trained properly.

2) Jealousy

This is one of the most commonly found reasons for sibling rivalry. It is natural that a toddler or preschool child is jealous when a new baby is born. It can lead to continued jealousy on the part of the older sibling as time goes on. This jealousy can increase when the siblings find that their younger ones are more cared. They are jealousy of each other and throw tantrums whenever they feel jealousy.

3) The spirit of competitiveness

It is natural to compete all the time, for everything for survival. The spirit of competitiveness is so screwed up sometimes that kids do their nut and they do plan on harming their own brother of sister. If this is not handled properly, it can destroy the whole family.

4) Proximity in age

Sibling rivalry can be caused by proximity in age. Researches suggest that siblings that are within two years’ age of one another tend to have more sibling rivalry than other siblings.

5) The self-pride of the child is hurt

Many times the correction measures of the parents produce opposite results when they rebuke their children in front of others. It may hurt the self-pride of the kids and grow into great problem, including sibling rivalry.

6) Lack of communication

Poor communication among siblings causes conflicts. As stated above each child is unique and has very special qualities of its own. When lack of communication suppresses the needs of one child, it turns into sibling rivalry and hatred.

7) Variation between talents

Every kid may have many hidden strengths and some easily identifiable talents. Even between the twins one child may be more talented than the other. This uneven distribution of approval may lead the less talented child to envy the other, causing a rift between the two leading to sibling rivalry.

8) Favoritism

Researches say that some genetic factors may make the parents favor one of their children which results in child rivalry what we see in the story of Jacob in the Old Testament. In such circumstances even if the parents try not to show it, the children will always know who the favorite is. When they come to know that they are not the favorite they are easily provoked to rivalry.


Favoritism, Genetic, Parenting, Positive Guiding, Quarrels, Sibling

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author avatar Denise O
31st Dec 2010 (#)

All true I have found for most but, it does not have to be this way.
Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Manav .s. lakhupota
31st Jul 2012 (#)

oh i to say like this

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author avatar christopheranton
31st Dec 2010 (#)

Thanks for your most interesting article.
Most of these can figure at all times , even in the
best of families.
The thing is to recognise the signs
and not let things get out of hand.

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author avatar Carol
31st Dec 2010 (#)

good article, many thanks

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author avatar ANP
16th Feb 2011 (#)

100 percent right

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author avatar Manav .s. lakhupota
31st Jul 2012 (#)

this is all true,i have found many kids doing like this

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author avatar Alma
5th Aug 2012 (#)

absolutely right,but the thing is how you talk to them individually after some chaos, whew!

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author avatar Angela
22nd Jul 2014 (#)

is this a column?

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