Domestic Abuse affects us one and all.

Karman's Kreations By Karman's Kreations, 12th Apr 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Domestic Violence & Abuse

This is a long read, but it just might save the life of someone you love.

We can STOP it Together!!

Today I will broach a subject that is as taboo as cancer was in the early 1950's and before. Domestic and Sexual Violence is not a subject we want to talk about, it is not something we want to hear about, it is something we want to ignore in hopes that it will go away.
However, as single parents we have a RESPONSIBILITY to teach our children right from wrong. Violence does not solve anything.
Men and Women alike can be and are VICTIMS of Domestic and Sexual Violence. Help protect your children, your grandchildren, and your great grandchildren by teaching them how to do their best not to be either a perpetrator or victim of domestic or sexual violence.
DISCLAIMER: This is a copy and paste blog. The links listed below provide all the information that I have shared here today as well as more in-depth information about domestic and sexual violence. I did not write this information; I chose to copy and past the information so that it would be accurate. Domestic and Sexual Violence increases yearly, it is time we worked to stop hurting each other in the name of LOVE.
The following information is copied directly form websites, I chose to use the copy feature so that nothing would be distorted or changed. The individuals that gather this information are much more capable than me as this is what they do on a daily basis and have dedicated their life's work to Stopping the Violence.
According to the Domestic Violence Statistics website for women:
• Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
• Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family.
• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
• Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.
• Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
• Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
• Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
• Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
• Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
• The cost of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses acount for nearly $1.8 billion.
• Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.
According to the Battered Men website: (these statistics are for Canada, I was not able to locate statistics for the United States)
Current partners:
More men DV victims 303,000 men (54%), 259,000 women (last 5 years). 190,000 men, 121,000 women kicked, hit, bitten,
hit with an object, beaten or choked. 51,000 men, 30,000 women slapped.
• All partners: 44% men
690,000 women (56%), 259,000 men (last 5 years)
• Overall rates similar
Prevalence—DV in last 5 years: 8% for women, 5% for men.
• In the last year: Overall rates similar
Prevalence—DV in last year: 3% for women, 2% for men.
• Men: 38-50% in Canada, U.S., Great Britain
Canada: Women 3%, men 2%; U.S. 1.3% to 0.9%' Britain both 4.2%
• Men more likely to sustain major injury or death in reported DV
Of incidents reported to police, 3% of men and only 2% of women sustained major physical injury or death.
• Women report more often, men report more serious offenses
Similar proportions of men and women reported stalking. Men are victims in 30% of more serious crimes like murder in the second degree, aggravated assault and extortion.
• 82% of DV against men not reported to police Of those reported to police, 50% were reported, not by the man but by someone else. 78% of reported DV against women was reported by the victim
Society teaches our young men that it is not okay to hit, but that it is also not okay to tell anyone you are being hit. They are told “Take it like a man” and “Get over it”.
Domestic Violence and Sexual Violence against a man or woman is Unacceptable and should be reported.
There is Help available: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
This national HOTLINE number can provide you with local information, contact information, and safety options.

Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Do you:
• feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
• avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
• feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
• believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
• wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
• feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
• humiliate or yell at you?
• criticize you and put you down?
• treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
• ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
• blame you for his own abusive behavior?
• see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior
Does your partner:
• have a bad and unpredictable temper?
• hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
• threaten to take your children away or harm them?
• threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
• force you to have sex?
• destroy your belongings?
Does your partner:
• act excessively jealous and possessive?
• control where you go or what you do?
• keep you from seeing your friends or family?
• limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
• constantly check up on you?
It Is Still Abuse If . . .
• The incidents of physical abuse seem minor when compared to those you have read about, seen on television or heard other women talk about. There isn’t a “better” or “worse” form of physical abuse; you can be severely injured as a result of being pushed, for example.
• The incidents of physical abuse have only occurred one or two times in the relationship. Studies indicate that if your spouse/partner has injured you once, it is likely he will continue to physically assault you.
• The physical assaults stopped when you became passive and gave up your right to express yourself as you desire, to move about freely and see others, and to make decisions. It is not a victory if you have to give up your rights as a person and a partner in exchange for not being assaulted!
• There has not been any physical violence. Many women are emotionally and verbally assaulted. This can be as equally frightening and is often more confusing to try to understand.
Emotional abuse: It’s a bigger problem than you think
“When people think of domestic abuse, they often picture battered women who have been physically assaulted. But not all abusive relationships involve violence. Just because you’re not battered and bruised doesn’t mean you’re not being abused. Many men and women suffer from emotional abuse, which is no less destructive. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often minimized or overlooked—even by the person being abused.”
Understanding emotional abuse
“The aim of emotional abuse is to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence. If you’re the victim of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way out of the relationship or that without your abusive partner you have nothing.
Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence or other repercussions if you don’t do what they want.
You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with scars. But, the scars of emotional abuse are very real, and they run deep. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—sometimes even more so”
Economic or financial abuse: A subtle form of emotional abuse
Remember, an abuser’s goal is to control you, and he or she will frequently use money to do so. Economic or financial abuse includes:
• Rigidly controlling your finances.
• Withholding money or credit cards.
• Making you account for every penny you spend.
• Withholding basic necessities (food, clothes, medications, shelter).
• Restricting you to an allowance.
• Preventing you from working or choosing your own career.
• Sabotaging your job (making you miss work, calling constantly)
• Stealing from you or taking your money.

Abusers are able to control their behavior—they do it all the time.
• Abusers pick and choose whom to abuse. They don’t insult, threaten, or assault everyone in their life who gives them grief. Usually, they save their abuse for the people closest to them, the ones they claim to love.
• Abusers carefully choose when and where to abuse. They control themselves until no one else is around to see their abusive behavior. They may act like everything is fine in public, but lash out instantly as soon as you’re alone.
• Abusers are able to stop their abusive behavior when it benefits them. Most abusers are not out of control. In fact, they’re able to immediately stop their abusive behavior when it’s to their advantage to do so (for example, when the police show up or their boss calls).
• Violent abusers usually direct their blows where they won’t show. Rather than acting out in a mindless rage, many physically violent abusers carefully aim their kicks and punches where the bruises and marks won’t show.

The Full Cycle of Domestic Violence: An Example
“A man abuses his partner. After he hits her, he experiences self-directed guilt. He says, "I'm sorry for hurting you." What he does not say is, "Because I might get caught." He then rationalizes his behavior by saying that his partner is having an affair with someone. He tells her "If you weren't such a worthless whore I wouldn't have to hit you." He then acts contrite, reassuring her that he will not hurt her again. He then fantasizes and reflects on past abuse and how he will hurt her again. He plans on telling her to go to the store to get some groceries. What he withholds from her is that she has a certain amount of time to do the shopping. When she is held up in traffic and is a few minutes late, he feels completely justified in assaulting her because "you're having an affair with the store clerk." He has just set her up.”

By this point I would guess that you are overwhelmed by the information that has been presented. For more information please copy and paste the link information and learn more.

You, as a single parent, can change the future by teaching your children that violence is never the answer. Start today.
If you are or know someone that is the victim of domestic or sexual violence these pages and links can give you information for escape or a way to assist someone to escape the violence.

The Hotline is a national hotline that can connect you to your local area.
There is Help available:
This national HOTLINE number can provide you with local information, contact information, and safety options.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

The Following links are where I gathered my information, Please visit them for more detailed information and connections:
The Hotline


Men are Abused As Well

Get Help

NEVER NEVER NEVER think that Domestic and Sexual Violence does not affect you. It may not be YOU personally but it might be your Sister, Mother, Brother, Father, Child, Aunt, Uncle, Daughter, Son, Cousin, Nephew, Niece, or even a Grand Parent!!!

DISCLAIMER: This is a copy and paste blog. The links listed above provide all the information that I have shared here today as well as more in-depth information about domestic and sexual violence. I did not write the information; I chose to copy and past the information so that it would be accurate. Domestic and Sexual Violence increases yearly, it is time we worked to stop hurting each other in the name of LOVE.

DISCLAIMER: The previous words are for informational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed anything, just a 25+ year single mom who did the best she could with what she had available to her at the time. I have worked in the Domestic & Sexual Violence Prevention field and know that help exists to move victims toward different options.


Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence Must Stop, Sexual Abuse, Sexual And Physical Abuse

Meet the author

author avatar Karman's Kreations
I am a widow, writer, artist, photographer, inspirationalist, sarcastically sweet beauty who hopes to find something she is successful at.

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