Do mothers get appreciation that they deserve?

chepkoluumugulel By chepkoluumugulel, 7th Jul 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Parenting

Motherhood is a very challenging status that women find themselves in either by choice, or by accident. Mothers strife to do their best for their children, and in most cases they are not appreciated enough. They can be appreciated by sending them gifts or flowers, calling them over the phone to check on them, giving them a surprised visit or sponsoring a vacation trip. Also most importantly, not forgetting their birthdays, anniversary, mother’s day and any other specials days in their lives.

Mothers, Are they appreciated enough?

Mothers are very special people on earth. Sometimes I wonder whether the children who elevated them to the status of motherhood really appreciate them for who they are and what they mean to them. According to Stadlen (2004), ‘mother’ refers to a relationship that the mother creates with her baby. Every child deserves a motherly love and mothers give love without measure. Mother’s love is unique and different from any other kind of love experienced in other relationships. I once worked with a lady who told me that January 1st was a very special day in her life and that she will never work on that day. In conversing with her farther as to why this day meant so much to her, she said that, that was her mother’s birthday. As she recounted the details of the specials events that she normally does on that day, her eyes turned red and welled up in tears. I was lost in thoughts as to why this brought so much emotion to her. After all people celebrates birthdays all the time. She looked up to the sky and in between hyperventilation and sops, she managed to tell me that her mother was deceased. She said that it was only when her mother passed away, that she realized how much she meant to her. She realized it too late when she was no longer there for her to show her appreciation. Her great pain and wishes for her mother to be alive were written all over her face. She advised anyone who dare to listen to her; to appreciate their mothers when they still can because one day, they will be gone and it will be hard to forgive “Yourself for not appreciating your mothers enough”. I must say, I was touched beyond imagination and promised myself to go many extra miles to show my uttermost appreciation to not only my mother, but to my father as well.

A mother by choice or by accident?

Culturally women are seen as “mothers’ or “mothers to be” and the issue of motherhood is related to family values and expectations. Women become mothers as planned or by accident. By accident I mean, that a woman may not have been ready to have a baby at the time she got pregnant. The pregnancy may have been as a result of contraceptives failure or rape. The mothers who plan to have babies look forward to having an offspring, who looks like them, acts like them etc. They look forward to doing things together. Once a woman is pregnant, she has a choice of keeping the baby or getting rid of it depending on how one got pregnant and the ultimate purpose of pregnancy. Once a woman conceives, she goes through various challenging changes in her life. Things will never be the same again. The challenging symptoms of pregnancy e.g. hormonal imbalances, morning sickness, heightened sense of smell, distaste or desire for some foods etc. Expectant mothers have to make several doctors visits for prenatal care to ensure that the baby is developing normally. All these changes in their bodies, their mood swings, pains and struggles may only be understood only by them. They got to go through this challenging period of life until they deliver their babies, and then raise them until they are able to stand on their feet. Once they become mothers, they do not have a choice as to whether to care for her children, her family or not or maybe they can make other arrangements. But can they take a day off from being a mother apart from when they are sick? I guess not. All this makes me wonder whether we appreciate our mothers enough to make them feel loved and cared for especially by the ones their children. For some, our mothers may have made some wrong choices in life, but the fact that you are alive today, means that your mother loved you enough to protect your life; because at one point, she had all the powers to end your life should she had chosen to do so.

So how should we appreciate our mothers?

Appreciation can be as simple as just words “thank you mother” or “I love you mother and thanks for all that you did for me”. “I know you didn’t have much but you tried”. “Thank you for all the ‘time-outs’ and the ‘grounding’ for I am a better person today. I know you did not mean any harm; you wanted the best for me”. About a phone call? Just to say I was just checking on you or stop by and bring her something special to show your appreciation. It does not always have to be her birthday, mother’s day or anniversary or because she called you and ask you to do something for her (but don’t forget those special days either!). You know your mother’s taste, get her something special and surprise her one day. Get her something of great substance that will have all eyes turning around and everyone talking about it, wondering where she got it from and how much she spend on it. You can also a sponsor special trip to a place she had always wanted to visit. It may be expensive, but it will mean a thousand worth to your mother. You can also buy her something she has always wanted. This will surely fill her days and nights with abundant joy. Appreciate your mother when you have a chance to do so and you will not regret latter when her days are over. They are indeed are so precious to us.

Facts


1. Once a mother, always a mother. There is no reverse gear in motherhood. The mother will not deny being a mother, otherwise we will be having many of those Maury’s show episodes conducting DNA testing to determine if “You are or you are not the Mother”.

2. Once a child is born, she/he will always be his or her mother’s child even if she/he grows to be 70 or older.

3. Mothers deserve to be appreciated more than they are actually appreciated. A big thank you to the inventor of mother’s day. At least mothers can know that they are indeed special since there is a day set aside specifically to honor them.

4. Mothers sometimes endure the abuse and other unbearable circumstances from fathers/boyfriends/partners/significant others, because they have to endure in order to have a place to raise their children.

5. A good mother will do all it takes, sacrifice as much as she can to ascertain that her child or children are gathered for. She may have sleepless nights or sleep with an empty stomach, but always thinking of what to do for her child or children to experience a less torturous life.

6. Mothers are jealous when it comes to their children. A mother thinks that there is absolutely no other woman, better than her, who can take care of her sons. That explains why almost every married woman has a bone to chew with her mother in law. That also explains the preferences for “My Mother’s cooking” instead of “My wife’s cooking”.

Well, the list is endless. Thank you mothers! More power and more strength to you mothers!

Reference

Stadlen, N. (2004). What Mothers do especially when it looks like nothing. Retrieved from http://www.naomistadlen.com/default.asp

Tags

Appreciation, Hormones, Mother, Mother Love, Mother Nature, Motherhood, Mothers Day, Mothers Heart, Odors, Pregnancy Foods, Pregnancy Problems, Pregnancy Symptoms, Smell

Meet the author

author avatar chepkoluumugulel
I am a trained teacher in special education and health promotion. I am excited in writing about anything that comes to my mind especially issues pertaining to health prevention specifically in women.

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Comments

author avatar David Reinstein,LCSW
7th Jul 2012 (#)

I'm forwarding this one along to 1) my mother, 2) my wife, and 3) our daughter - who is, herself, a mother.
Mothers never get the degree of appreciation most of them deserve. Just ask one!

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author avatar chepkoluumugulel
8th Jul 2012 (#)

I completely agree with you. I've learnt to appreciate my mother more than ever. Thanks for the comment and for forwarding this to those special and wonderful mothers in your family.

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author avatar stevetheblogger
8th Jul 2012 (#)

Wonderful article and oh so true.B
est Wishes
stevetheblogger

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