Discipline for Teenagers

SuzAlicieStarred Page By SuzAlicie, 3rd Aug 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Teenagers

Teenagers are nearly adults, how can you adapt your discipline strategy to accommodate the stage of life they are in?

Teenagers are Confused, Parents are Confused too.

Teenagers seem to believe that turning 18, being recognized as an adult is their key to getting everything they ever wanted. They can move out, stay up as long as they want to and go or do whatever they feel like doing. That magical age of adulthood leaves many teens rebelling in the years before it happens.

As your teenager starts to become an adult, he or she is trapped between childhood and adulthood. What this means is that your teen has to learn to take responsibility for their actions and behave maturely, while still having to ask permission to do things.

This is a scary time for a parent because they know that their child is almost ready to leave the nest, they wonder if their teenager is prepared for the responsibility and mature enough to live on their own.

The conflicting emotions and expectations can lead a teenager to act out or misbehave. This is not always a conscious decision for a teen, many times they let their mouth or attitude get the best of them and end up in trouble with the parents. Sometimes a teen will simply decide to break the rules because they feel that they deserve to be able to do something, even though they aren't allowed or even old enough to do whatever it is. They feel as if they know more than their parents. C'mon, you know this is true, you were a teenager too at one time!

There Will Always Be Rules!

The hardest fact to get through a teenagers hormone ridden rebellious brain is that even when they turn 18 and get out on their own, there will always be rules.

Whether on the job, or in the lease agreement for their apartment, or driving down the road your teen is going to have to learn to follow rules. This is something that many teenagers just don't get.

I have heard from my son this exact quote : "I won't go to jail because I won't break laws, just your dumb rules." Well, really son? If you aren't responsible enough to turn off a light when you leave a room how will you ever manage to hold a job where you have to do several tasks or you end up unemployed? How will you manage to keep a vehicle on the road with tags, insurance and all the laws of driving? Of course I am wasting my breath. He won't understand until he gets there and realizes that being an adult isn't all that much fun.

Discipline For Teens

You can't really put a teenager in time out. Well, you could; but the amount of time they would sit there would just be an opportunity for them to glare at you and make a list in their minds of all the stupid things you make them do. To discipline a teenager and make sure that the lesson sticks, you have to hit them where it hurts! (No, do not punch your sassy child in the mouth!) You have to take away the things that are important to them.

  • the computer
  • their cell phone
  • the telephone
  • television
  • video games
  • going out
  • having visitors

Any of these can be used to teach your teen a lesson for a rule infraction. This helps them learn that there are consequences for the choices they make, and part of being an adult is evaluating actions and thinking about the consequences before making a move.

This is an effective method when it comes to removing one thing for small infractions, and a combination of things when they mess up more seriously. For many teenagers this is enough of a deterrent to keep them walking the straight and narrow, (at least as far as they let you see).

On the other hand there are some teenagers who don't get the message and end up spending most of their teen years on some form of restriction because each time they earn their freedom they break the same rules or a whole new set of rules that they have decided not to follow.

Disciplining your teenager is a challenge, but it is important to know that if you keep them safe, and they make it to 18 you have done a wonderful job, and you will probably be surprised at how mature your teen really is when put into the real world.


**Image courtesy of Photobucket.com/gaaraguy72

Tags

Parenthood, Parenting Teenagers, Parenting Teens, Parents, Teen Dating, Teen Life, Teenage, Teenagers, Teenagers Grownup, Teens

Meet the author

author avatar SuzAlicie
I am a work from home mom who home schools two active boys while freelance writing and maintaining several blogs and websites.

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Comments

author avatar Retired
3rd Aug 2010 (#)

I was lucky with my children. Had no problems. Perhaps it also had to do with the environment in which they grew up in and the times. I live in the country, (Norman Rockwell scene) My children didn't have the peer pressure city children do. I was also a stay at home mom, so they always knew where to find me. They are all middle aged now with teens of their own.
This is a great article that give good information for parents today.

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author avatar Patrice Campbell
3rd Aug 2010 (#)

Great article. Teen years are difficult on a parent. It doesn't help that each teen is different and reacts differently in different situations. Of course, that's true of all humans, isn't it.
I feel I was a successful parent because I was still somewhat sane on my sons 18th birthday.

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author avatar j.m. raymond
4th Aug 2010 (#)

19, 17, and two under 10 What ever "somewhat" sanity I have remaining will most likely have long dissipated by the time the last one reaches that magical number.

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author avatar SuzAlicie
4th Aug 2010 (#)

i.m. That thought I understand. Around our house we are dealing with my two boys ages 16 and 12, and his two, a girl 16 and a boy 13. By the end of this year we will be surrounded by 4 teenagers.

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author avatar j.m. raymond
4th Aug 2010 (#)

That must make schedules and meal time a circus full of fun!

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author avatar SuzAlicie
5th Aug 2010 (#)

What? You mean mealtimes end for teens? When all 4 are here it is a free for all in the kitchen.

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