Desperately Lonely Women Set Up for Friends With Benefits

Marcellus Alexander By Marcellus Alexander, 3rd May 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

There are a lot of lonely single women out there. Men know that, and we will look for lonely, vulnerable women to game on. We will use your desire for a relationship, your single status and even your loneliness against you if you don't watch out.

The Friends With Benefits Set Up

It always goes the same.

You meet a guy that you like and you spend some time together. You're thinking: "It would be wonderful to be in a relationship with him; we get along so well!" He is thinking: "She's cool and everything, but I'm not ready to settle down. That chick Rhonda is fine, and LaShonda got it going on, and Angelique is smokin' hot."

I've had a lot of females in my time - as lovers and friends. It always amazed me how few of the women I got at would ask what else was going on in my life before they slept with me. It's the same with my buddies and the women they messed around with.

But the other half of you would ask if we were single (yes), then ask about a commitment. But when the guy says "I'm not ready for anything like that" and is just "having a good time", those women would for the most part ignore what the dude said and sleep with him anyway! Now the trap is sprung.

If you are a woman looking for a relationship with a serious minded man, you need to handle yourself a lot differently. I don't get why when a man tells you that he is not serious about settling down and just wants to screw around, do you all mess with him anyway?

Learn How to Listen to Manspeak

All three of my sisters (luckily) would come to me and ask me about the guys they were seeing. The most frequent question was what a guy meant when he said certain things. I'd break it down for them, so my sisters were able to avoid a lot of the b.s. that I've seen other black women go through.

Just because you don't have an older brother to tell you things about men does not mean you have to fall for the jive player games. The #1 way to protect your heart is to listen to what men say and not put your own spin on it.

So if a guy says he is not interested in a commitment, what he means is he is not interested in one with YOU. No matter how many sex moves you put on him or how much you cook or try to show him how good of a woman you are. He will take what you give and still be out.

If a guy says he is not interested in getting married, what he means is he still wants to have the option to play around as a single man. No matter how many of you move in with him and play "wifey" or how many times you get pregnant by him. He will enjoy what you do for him, take what you give and still be out - leaving you AND the baby you tried to "trap" him with.

If a guy says he is single and has "female friends" that means he has other booty that he hits but ain't committed to. If you want to add yourself to the bedtime rotation, he's cool with that.

If a guy says he is not ready to settle down now, what he means is he is not ready to settle down with YOU.

If a guy says he's "spontaneous" what he means is he doesn't want to make plans in advance because something better might come along. But if you're okay with a little uncommitted sex every now and then when he doesn't have anything else to do and calls you up at the last minute, he's down for that.

If a guy says he is just enjoying his time being a bachelor, what he means is he likes bed hopping. And if you let him, he'll hop in bed with you too so you two can have sex like bunny rabbits.

If a guy says "I'll be in touch", but you only hear from him by text or when he wants to come over to your crib, what he means is you aren't good enough to be his woman. You aren't good enough to take out, and you aren't good enough to spend money on. But you are good enough to screw for free if you let him.

Don't Get Mad Cause You Did it To Yourself!

A lot of women catch feelings after they start screwing some FWB dude. That's your fault if your feelings get hurt because your secret expectations of more aren't being met.

Don't get mad at him for not being there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on. Don't get mad when you see naked pictures on his phone of some other woman. Don't get mad when you see him driving around with some other woman in his car. Don't get mad when you are at his house and he answers the phone at 2:00 am and goes into the other room to talk. Don't get mad when you find out he flirted with your next door neighbor trying to get at her. Don't get mad when you ask "where is this going?" and he laughs in your face. Don't get mad when you find out he has a girlfriend now and drops you like a hot rock.

You don't have the right to have any expectations. You are not a couple, remember? He is not committed to you. Never forget that.

He straight told you in the beginning it wasn't gonna be like that. Why didn't you listen? Dude was honest and clear that he didn't want you except for sex. He was clear that he wasn't offering anything but a few minutes of pleasure. Your role in his life is to screw him when one or both of you want to be tightened up. That's what you signed on for, and that's all you are gonna get.

FWB = Playing With Fire

Most women (not all) cannot sleep with a man over and over and not eventually get attached. When you all get attached you want a relationship. This is why its important for a woman to know what she wants. Don't say you want to have fun and jump into a FWB/booty call situation, then turn around and start talking about you want a commitment. It don't work like that.

If you want a commitment, stick to it. We respect women that know what they want and don't take any shit from us. Yeah, we will fuss and act up sometimes when you shoot us down, but still, we respect you for sticking to your guns.

FWBs have their purpose when we're young, you know how it is in college! But once you get to be a woman looking for a husband, don't play yourself like that. If you tell us you want a serious relationship, cut and run from any dude not on your page. Because if you say you want something serious but turn around and settle for a FWB/booty call, you won't get respect and you won't get commitment either.

Instead, we will chalk you up to being desperate for a man, a stupid woman that falls for tired rap, or so lonely you take anything that comes along with a pulse. Once a player got your number like that, the game is on! And women always lose.


Booty Calls, Cheating, Cheating Partners, Desperate Single Women, Desperation, Friends With Benefits, Fwb, Low Self-Esteem, Players

Meet the author

author avatar Marcellus Alexander
Oldest of five with three younger sisters, I've always watched out for black women with love and concern. Happily married father of two tired of the b.s. between black men and women.

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author avatar Brighteye
4th May 2013 (#)

So true!

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author avatar Anjanette
22nd Jul 2013 (#)

No to every one of these situations. Now what?

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author avatar Banana
22nd Jul 2013 (#)

The author should try using women in place of females. The latter is derogatory.

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author avatar Tom
22nd Jul 2013 (#)

I liked your article, until I read it was only for black people. Then I quit reading. Good job shrinking your audience by being racist.

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author avatar CC
23rd Jul 2013 (#)

I enjoyed the article, I also understand that this was an article meant to deal with issues in the black community--not trying to be racist to anyone else. Some people like Tom have nothing better to do than to leave negative comments insinuating racism.

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author avatar Myra
18th Apr 2014 (#)

What a bunch of sexist CRAP!


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