Dear Mom, Happy Mother's Day

Teresa Variel By Teresa Variel, 21st May 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Family>Relationships

A view through a keyhole of life, love, loss and what comes after. Take a treasured glimpse of one woman's journey encapsulated into one tiny golden nutshell.

Dear Mom

Like many grown children might say, I have the best Mom. No one can hold a candle to her. She built up the pieces of her life with passion, dedication, honesty and a lot of kids. She never liked to talk about her abundance of children, twelve to be exact. It attracted too much attention and was not what she wanted to define her. A simple creature with a complex heart, craving the truth in all situations, she searched and prayed for the answers to all of life's great questions.
An immigrant from The Hague, Netherlands, her family rooted in California with the help of an older sister who came to the State's first. Her father, a barber and her mother a stay at home mum. They were a hard working brood and a large one at that. My mother was one of ten intelligent children and from what I hear, she was favored among her folks. Without bias, I think I know why. She was just a damn good girl. Always level headed and grounded against bad influences. It came so naturally to her to make good decisions and live with a simpleness. Growing older, she was wired to make her parents proud and beyond that, I think she had an amazing intuition. She trusted herself and made many decisions based on that trust.
Fast forward to when she met her future husband. He swooped her up sooner than she could unpack her bags from Holland. She had perfected her English but hadn’t quite perfected the looseness of American life before he threw that fateful white rose in her direction. Literally threw her a rose and the rest is history. Six months later, he brings her dad a six pack and sits in his own anxiety until she throws him a lifeline and encourages him to ask her dad that important question. He asks for his daughter's hand in marriage to which he replies, “so soon?” Yes, when you know, you know.
A devout Catholic her entire life, she practiced without too much of the preaching part. It was more action than talking. We tried our best as kids, to sway her from her chosen path, but she remained resilient. Always patient and calm. Always compassionate. Always guiding the ship like a seasoned captain. Making sacrifices unconditionally, without thoughts of her own needs. Beyond that, I really think the Holy Spirit resided in her laugh. Oh my, talk about contagious and heartfelt. It was glorious to hear her speaking on the phone with one of her sisters in California, they would crack each other up the entire conversation. I can still feel the quietness after they had hung up with each other, a certain sadness hung in the air. Being far away from your favorite people isn’t easy for anybody.
Sadly, this favorite woman of mine left us for the greenest pastures. She battled cancer a second time and lost. She didn’t want to fight the second time around but she did anyway, for her husband and for us kids. One of her last sacrifices.
I never contemplated the fact I might lose my mother. She was going to be around when I got married and had kids. We were going to continue camping as a family and enjoying each others company. We had many many more memories to make. Even as I watched her get sicker and sicker it never sunk in that she could possibly die. It was unreal and dream-like when the hospice nurse said maybe a couple more days. That still hasn't sunk in 6 years later.
There is a long list of things I would say and do with my mom if she were here. At the top of the list is making some hot chamomile tea, get comfy on the couch and just talk. Oh, and try to make her laugh.


Cancer, God, Honoring, Hope, Humor, Love, Mom

Meet the author

author avatar Teresa Variel
I pursue happiness and strive to find a balance in life. I want to continue learning forever but I am in a place now where I want to practice everything I have learned. Do that for a while.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
22nd May 2015 (#)

Touching tribute and recall of happy days. thanks Teresa for this share.

Our moms are indeed a hard act to follow - they got happiness and fulfillment through their love and compassion for their families - siva

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author avatar Frama
11th Jun 2015 (#)

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